Unplug and Recharge on The Huffington Post

Sophie Keller: How Happy Is... 5 Easy Ways To Stay Relaxed Now!

2009-12-08T09:27:56Z

Relaxing and unwinding is about being in a chilled out state as much as you possibly can through out your day, rather than having to take time out to do it as a reaction from the rest of your day, which you have decided to make stressful. So here are a few ways in which you can stay permanently calm regardless of what you are going through and what is going on around you.

Tip 1: Change Your Language: The every day language that you use will govern whether you see life as exciting or frightening, easy or hard, effortless or worrying. If you go through life as if it's a struggle and you wake up to 'battle a new day' or you think people are 'out to get you', your body is going to be in a heightened stressed state, thinking that it is at war. Perhaps if you take the time to become a bit more conscious of the words that come out of your mouth to describe your experiences then you will be aware of whether you need to start to use words that relax and excite you, rather than those that have you in a state of constant defense.

Tip 2: Let Go Of Tension: Every now and again in the day check in to your body and notice where you are holding tension. Could your shoulders be more relaxed? Could your jaw loosen its grip? Could you perhaps breathe a bit more deeply? If you are aware of where you hold your stress, you can direct your attention to those places in order to let go of it.

Tip 3: Be Present, Now: At the same time that you notice where you are holding tension, take your mind from the past and out of the future and become a bit more present to what is happening around you. Listen to three noises you are hearing right now as you read this and notice three colors that you see in front of you. If you really want to know where you are, then take a look at your feet, as where your feet are, is where you are.

Tip 4: Let It Go: Let your thoughts and feelings pass in and out of you, because they are always changing. The more you can let go of being attached to them, the better. They are not who you are, you have them. So, if you feel mad, let it go quickly, if you feel anxiety, release it and move on. Remember, that when you react to something that happens, after the incident is over you are reacting to the memory of it, not the actual incident itself. So let it go!

Tip 5: Happiness vs. Achievement: Do not mix up having a sense of achievement of reaching your goals and your ability to be happy and calm regardless of whether you have or haven't. It's important to have goals in life, as it's exciting to work towards reaching them. But be a bit patient and don't let the fact that you might not have reached them yet suspend your ability to be happy and stress-free every day. Be happy, regardless of where you are on your journey, because if you are waiting to reach a goal before you decide to enjoy your life, then you will look back and notice that you have wasted most of it.

That's it for this week. Some of you may have noticed that I disappeared off the Huffington Post for a few months. I have now started to do regular 'howhappyis' television segments on the KTLA morning television show and have completed my website which I would love you to visit at howhappyis.com, where you can read many more articles, watch the KTLA videos, make contact with me, ask any questions and sign up for a monthly newsletter. I look forward to hearing from you. Love Sophie x

The Art of Slow: Just Say No!

2009-11-27T09:13:29Z

Now, more than ever, we need to utilize the tiniest complete sentence the English language has to offer. Are you ready? Say it with me now: No!

19 Ways To Really Relax This Season

2009-11-19T09:17:02Z

We understand how easy it is to feel not so wonderful at this most wonderful time of the year. That's why we've rounded up these 19 expert-endorsed ways to help you dodge the seasonal blues and stay happy, healthy, and energized.

Internet Addiction: Dealing With Withdrawal

2009-11-17T17:18:45Z

Shortly after my girlfriend and I decided to rent a New Hampshire summer house together in 2007, we made a vexing discovery: Internet access wasn't going to be possible.

The New Feminism: Questions For Jessica Valenti

2009-11-17T17:05:43Z

Editor of the blog Feministing.com rates the effectiveness of online activism compared to old-style models of political engagement like rallies and marches and displays of bra-burning.

Doc Childre: How To Increase Your Resilience Factor

2009-11-16T12:55:30Z

Are your emotions spinning out of control more often? Do you find that inconveniences, impatience and frustration are getting to you, and you aren't able to let it all go like you once could? Do you feel tired or drained just thinking about your day and everything you need to get done? If you answered yes to any of these symptoms, it may be due to a lack of emotional resilience.

Think of your emotional resilience capacity like the amount of gas you have in your car. The more you have, the farther you can go. Building a reservoir of emotional resilience gives you the confidence to know you can make it through a potentially stressful situation; it gives you the energy to continue down the road after stress drains you; and it gives you the ability to quickly reset your system to perform in a normal, operational state.

Our resilience depletes when we feel resistant or compressed. For example, think about the resistance you feel when you find yet another major project has landed on your plate. Or your company is laying off 15 percent of your department and you have to pick up the slack. You're already feeling overloaded. Who wouldn't feel resistant or compressed?

We don't know about you, but more and more people we talk to are having multiple health and/or financial problems they never imagined before. To get through these tough times, we all need to build up our resilience capacity.

Building up our resilience capacity is so important because it helps reduce the emotional and physical effects of time crunch, overload, edginess, financial pressures, unexpected changes ... you know the list. Research is showing that these standard daily stressors have a cumulative effect that translates into resilience depletion. Plus, when we're low on resilience, we tend to add extra drama to a problem which magnifies the situation and creates even more drain. And that's when we spin out of control, make mistakes, say things we later regret, ignore our health, and so on.

In physics, resilience is the property of a material that enables it to bounce back and resume its original shape or position after being bent, stretched, or compressed. (How often do you feel bent, stretched or compressed?) Bamboo trees are wonderful examples of being able to bend without breaking. Bamboo trees go through stress from nature, but they bounce back in a remarkable way. You may have no control over external factors but you can build up your internal resilience to maintain flexibility and balance in your life, like the bamboo tree, as you deal with challenging circumstances.

We all need resilience for optimal health, happiness and reducing stress. Building our emotional resilience capacity involves simple actions that can be easily learned. Here's one way to stop the drain and start building resilience:

The Power of Neutral

By learning how to activate the Power of Neutral you can prepare for a potentially stressful situation or stop a reaction in the middle of a stressful experience. Think of all the times you're listening to the news, surfing the web or in a meeting and you hear something that makes you angry or worried. Instead of letting the anger run or projecting fear into the future, you can use the Power of Neutral before and as you watch the news, surf the web or attend a meeting to build your resilience capacity and save all that emotional energy.

Here's a simple tool to shift into Neutral to build your resilience capacity. It's a lot like shifting into neutral in a car. Your engine is still running but you get to decide which way to go before you engage the gear again. Shifting into Neutral inside yourself gives you more vision and stops the emotional surge and energy drain so you can maintain resilience as you sort your options and choose how to respond.

Take a time-out, breathing slowly and deeply. Imagine the air entering and leaving through the heart area or the center of your chest.

Focus on your heart and breathing instead of focusing on your stressful thoughts and worried feelings.

Continue until you have neutralized the emotional charge and you feel calmness throughout.

Use Step one as soon as you feel your emotions start to react. First you want to take a time-out by choosing to step back from your emotions. Heart breathing in Step one helps draw the energy out of your head, where negative thoughts and feelings get amped up. Breathe slowly and deeply in a casual way. Imagine the air entering and leaving through the center of your chest and heart area.

In Step two, disengage from your stressful thoughts and feelings as you continue to breathe. Just having the intent to disengage can help you neutralize a lot of your emotional energy.

In Step three, continue the process until you have chilled out and neutralized the emotional charge. This doesn't mean your anger or anxiety will have totally evaporated. It just means that the charged energy has been taken out and you have stopped the stress play out in your body.

Practicing the Power of Neutral often brings a sense of empowerment, confidence, appreciation and other positive emotions. When you're experiencing positive emotions more possibilities come into your view. Positive psychology researcher, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson has found that: "Through experiences of positive emotions people transform themselves, becoming more creative, knowledgeable, resilient, socially integrated and healthy individuals."

Resilience should be at the top of all of our "must-have" lists if we are to effectively deal with today's time constraints, overload, financial worries, and the unexpected challenges to come. There are many ways to build mental, emotional and physical resilience. This is just one tool to get your started. Practice this resilience tool daily and watch your resilience tank fill.

Read more about how organizations are helping employees build more resilience.

Read about a new technology designed to reduce stress and build resilience.

We invite you to join our Facebook and Twitter pages and YouTube channel where the latest stress relief resources are often announced and made available. We also offer a Stress & Well-Being Survey™, the most comprehensive and accurate assessment tool that's available free over the Internet. The survey takes five to ten minutes to complete, and will provide you with a comprehensive picture of how much stress you are experiencing, your energy level and what areas are most stressful in your life. Results are followed by tips for improving your scores.

You can find out more about Doc Childre, Deborah Rozman and HeartMath at www.heartmath.com. Doc is founder of the non-profit Institute of HeartMath co-author of The HeartMath Solution and From Chaos to Coherence. Deborah is a psychologist and business executive, and co-author with Doc of Transforming Stress, Transforming Anger, Transforming Anxiety and Transforming Depression.

Therese Borchard: 6 Steps To Quiet The Mind

2009-11-16T11:16:38Z

I was all set to interview Eric Swanson, coauthor (with Yongey Mingur Rinpoche) of "Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom," when I realized that my main question -- Can you give me some concrete steps to quiet the mind? -- was already addressed in his book!

He and Harmony Books graciously gave me permission to reprint parts of Chapter 7 on "Attention." Here is the step-by-step approach to mindfulness or meditation, the basic practices of quieting the mind, provided in "Joyful Wisdom":

Step One: Objectless Attention

The most basic approach to attention is referred to as "objectless"-- not focusing on any specific "scene" or aspect of experience, but just looking and marveling at the wide range of scenery as it comes and goes....Objectless attention involves settling into this "is-ness," simply watching thoughts, emotions, appearances and so on, as they emerge against or within the background of "space."

Step Two: Attention to Form

Form meditation simply involves raising this unconscious process to the level of active awareness. Just by looking with bare attention at a specific object, the restless bird [your mind] settles on its branch....When you rest your mind on an object you're seeing it as something distinct or separate from yourself. But when we let go and simply rest our minds in bare attention, gradually we begin to realize whatever we see, and however we see it, is an image made up of thoughts, memories, and the limitations conditioned by our sensory organs. In other words, there's no difference between what is seen and the mind that sees it.

Step Three: Attending to Sound

Attending to sound is very similar to attending to form, except that now you're engaging the faculty of hearing instead of sight...Gradually allow yourself to pay attention to sounds close to your awareness, such as your heartbeat or your breath. Alternatively, you can focus on sounds that occur naturally in your immediate surroundings, such as rain pattering against a window, the noise of a television or stereo coming from a neighbor's apartment, the roar of an airplane passing above, or even the chirps and whistles of restless birds outside.

Step Four: Attending to Physical Experience

Our embodied state is a blessing in disguise, fertile ground through which we may discover the possibilities of awareness. One way to access these possibilities is through paying attention to physical sensations, a process that may be most simply accessed through watching your breath. All you have to do is focus your attention lightly on the simple act of inhaling and exhaling. You can place your attention on the passage of air through your nostrils or on the sensation of air filling and exiting your lungs. Focusing on the breath is particularly useful when you catch yourself feeling stressed or distracted. The simple act of drawing attention to your breath produces a state of calmness and awareness that allows you to step back from whatever problems you might be facing and respond to them more calmly and objectively.

Step Five: Attending to Thoughts

Paying attention to thoughts isn't aimed at stopping thoughts, but simply observing them. Like taking time to look at a rose or listen to a sound, taking time to observe your thoughts doesn't involve analyzing the thoughts themselves. Rather, the emphasis rests on the act of observing, which naturally calms and steadies the mind that observes. You can use your thoughts rather be used by them. If a hundred thoughts pass through your mind in the space of a minute, you have a hundred supports for meditation...There's no need to become attached to the awareness of a thought or to focus on it so intently that you attempt to make it go away. Thoughts come and go, as an old Buddhist saying holds, like "snowflakes falling on a hot rock." Whatever passes through the mind, just watch it come and go, lightly and without attachment, the way you'd practice gently resting your attention on forms, sounds or physical sensations.

Step Six: Attending to Emotions

The method of observing emotions varies according to the type of emotion you're experiencing. If you're feeling a positive emotion, you can focus on both the feeling AND the object of the feeling. For example, if you're feeling love for a child, you can rest your attention on both the child AND the love you feel for him or her. If you're feeling compassion for someone in trouble, you can focus on the person needing help AND your feeling of compassion...A more practical approach to emotions, similar to that of working with thoughts, is simply to rest your attention on the emotion itself rather than on its object. Just look at the emotion without analyzing it intellectually. Don't try to hold on to it or resist it. Simply observe it. When you do this, the emotion won't seem as solid, lasting or true as it initially did.

Reprinted from JOYFUL WISDOM: EMBRACING CHANGE AND FINDING FREEDOM Copyright © 2009 by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. Published by Harmony Books, a division of Random House, Inc.

***

Originally published on Beyond Blue at Beliefnet.com. To read more of Therese, visit her blog, Beyond Blue at Beliefnet.com, or subscribe here. You may also find her at www.thereseborchard.com.

Slow Living: How To Gear Up

2009-11-10T08:19:23Z

When you're busy fulfilling the urge to be everyone's everything all the time, there something incredibly restoring to closing the door, waving the white flag, and being unproductive.

Sara Avant Stover: Unplug and Recharge: Need Energy? Try Yoga! (VIDEO)

2009-11-04T16:40:06Z

Here's a short 'n sweet meditative yoga flow for you. It's a great way to start your day--or to fit in whenever you need a little pick- me- up.

Now that temperatures are dropping, it's a great way to increase your circulation and got toasty from the inside out. It's slow tempo and attention to breath will also help your mind stay focused and alert--ready for whatever your day brings you.

Feel free to leave a comment, letting me know how it goes for you, as well as what kinds of yoga practices you'd like to see here in the future.

Enjoy!

p.s. You can watch more of my videos here.

Sara Avant Stover: Unplug and Recharge: Remember Who You Are

2009-10-27T14:34:22Z

On these cold and dark mornings, as the days grow shorter and shorter, I find that I so appreciate the early morning hours.

Sure, it's hard to get out of bed--to trade the comfort of snuggling under warm blankets to touch feet down on the bare floor. But after a splash of cold water on my face and a cup of hot tea, it's worth it. You see, during these hours, I remember who I am.

My mind's not yet busy with the events of the day. I see night change to day. I see the first glimpses of the morning sun paint the clouds red, gold, and orange beyond my kitchen window. I sense in my body the return of warmth and clarity. I feel an optimism and a willingness to shine, as I am, no matter what.

Here's a practice for you to do in the morning, to remember who you are, too.

1. When you get the first glimpse of light in the morning, whether that is through a window once you are already awake, or as you first open your eyes to a bright morning, FEEL THE LIGHT. Don't think about feeling the light, literally feel what it's like to receive it through your eyes, your skin, your whole being. Allow it to soften you.

2. Affirm to yourself that you are the light, too. Affirm to live in the light in this moment--which means to be yourself fully and to stay open--especially in the face of challenges and busyness.

3. Throughout the day, as often as you remember, feel the light on your body--sense the color, the texture--and remind yourself that this is only an outer reflection of your bright, inner essence.

Now, I'm curious, how is this for you? Does it change how you feel when you start your day?

To read more articles from Sara, visit here.

Judy Wieder: Take The Hawaiian Cure

2009-10-26T14:49:51Z

Many years ago when I was still banging my life against the unhealthy routine of multi-tasking as both the Editor in Chief of a national news magazine and the Editorial Director of two other magazines and a book company-- I went to Hawaii. My entire life changed in the most unforeseen way possible. All at once I could envision my future as a person who didn't have to do, do, do, do. Ever since I was a child playing in piano recitals and later as a teenager touring Los Angeles in a classical trio, I was raised to be somebody, to stand out, perform well, and accomplish a lot.

There's nothing wrong with these goals, of course--unless, that is, you forget to program in balance. It wasn't that I didn't take vacations, I did. But until I went to Hawaii (and I'm not talking about Waikiki here, anymore than someone going to Tijuana should say they've gone to Mexico; I'm talking about authentic Hawaii), I hadn't faced that part of myself that really DID want to belong to something outside of me, something natural, earthy, native, and spiritual. Suddenly, I could see my future, a time when I would no longer "be in charge of everything all the time." I believe the reason why so many capable people continue pushing themselves in unbalanced, unhealthy ways, is because we simply can't see what will become of us if we stop. Well, even if we all keep working past our retirements in some fashion, this is a nation of youth worshipers, so sooner or later we will be forced to slow down. And what my many trips to the magic islands between Japan and the United States have shown me is that when the time comes I can be more soulful and content like all the inspiring people I keep meeting on the six "visitable" islands of Hawaii. (There are two we're are not allowed on.)

One day at least 8 years ago, while shopping for a gift to bring back to the mainland (what Hawaiians call the rest of the United States), I was drawn to a small box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts, a specialty of Hawaii. It wasn't the contents of the box that caught my attention, but the packaging: a painting of a small village of thatched-roof hale (houses), evoking another time, perhaps the plantations of Hilo, Hawaii, where macadamia nut orchards flourished. Long after I ate those nuts, I always kept the box someplace nearby where I could glance at it easily. For me, something about the picture sparked a fantasy, a dream. Simply put: I wanted to be there.

Over the years I've read many books about the history of Hawaii. The breathtaking beauty of the land hides a very harsh story, indeed. No one can delve into what has happened to the Hawaiian people without a lot of mixed feelings about the actions of the United States. In many ways you find yourself revisiting the history of the American Indians. And yet I know that in and amongst my own complex feelings, my heart is pure. I love what the Hawaiians love about their land and culture.

Several years ago my wife, Suzanne, and I were sitting early one morning on the shores of Kona (the "dry" side of the Big Island), outside a beautiful hotel. We were utterly transfixed watching a Hawaiian fisherman throw his nets into the sea, waiting, pulling, and catching. After the sun had slowly moved to the center of the sky, he walked out of the ocean and headed off with his catch. Without a word to each other, we followed him down a long beach which eventually led to another, very different hotel. When I looked around, I caught my breath. I couldn't believe what was in front of me. Could this be my dream coming to life? The fisherman disappeared into what looked like a tall, thatched-roof dining room.

We had arrived at Kona Village Resort. Dirt roads led to other individual thatched-roof, primitive, 19th century hale cottages. Some were nestled right on the shoreline with their own private black-sand beaches; others were hidden along tropical lagoons, 125 in all within 82-acres of lava that formed an ancient Hawaiian fishing village. Some of the Polynesian hale (no "s" for plural) were modeled after authentic Fijian homes, others were Tahitian, Maori, Samoan, Palau, Maluhia, New Caledonian, Marquesan, and, of course, Hawaiian.

I felt light headed, and not just from the warm trade winds that blew through the village like breaths of ecstasy. I had finally found it! After searching all parts of Maui, Moloka'i, Lana'i, O'ahu, Kaua'i, and the Big Island for over a dozen years, here it was waiting for me all this time. The hotel's suggestive and carefully executed architecture harkened back to my own romantic infatuation with an earlier Hawaiian way of life, a bygone era from which all their great values still resonate.

I soon learned that Kona Village had no televisions, no phones, no radios, and no air conditioning. It's very interesting to note, that when we finally came to stay at Kona Village this past September, while we noted and quickly dismissed most of the modern crutches we normally used in hotels, the last missing item we noticed was: clocks. We just didn't need them. The sun comes up; you get up. The sun goes down; you wind down. Have a surfing date? Trust the ocean to tell you when. Just like snorkeling, if you want to see fish or ride waves, early morning or late afternoon is best. You don't need a clock to know this. Watch the wind whip up the sea and you'll catch on quick. By removing and unplugging all your modern gadgets, by leaving you on your own with "nothing" but the sense of belonging to something bigger and more nurturing than anything else you've ever known, something magnificent begins to happen to your mind: peace.

I've read books about it, meditated regularly to achieve it, chanted for it, talked about it, but in Kona Village, after one full day of just letting myself go, I found peace. Why? Is it the ancient Mana (powerful spirit) of the area? Guests have been coming back here since the early 60s when the hotel was established, so I'm clearly not alone:

Many hundreds of years ago, when people first came to this area known as Ka'upulehu, it was a real functioning village. Then the lava flows poured down on it when Mount Hualalai blew in 1801. Everyone understandably left. But when the land settled, the lava had formed terrific inlets for fishing ponds, so everyone came back and reestablished the town as a fishing village. You can still see the blueprints for these fishing ponds when you walk around Kona Village today. Then in the late 50s a "gentleman" named Johnno Jackson became a frequent visitor to the islands and he fell in love with Ka'upulehu. In 1965 he opened with 47 hale and his guests flew in aboard a tiny Royal Hawaiian 402 Cessna on a little runway Johnno built. Considering that flights from the mainland to Honolulu were still a big deal back then, you must have really wanted to be in Kona Village to then proceed to risk a small, inter-island flight from Honolulu to Kona! (Of course, knowing what I now know, I'd do it in a heartbeat.)

Are you wondering what one does at Kona Village that winds up contributing to this amazing sense of peace of mind and well-being? You mean besides counting the giant turtles that crawl up to you on your private beach or watching the whales spout offshore or swimming or sitting in your private outdoor hot tub or surfing or paddle boarding or snorkeling or deep sea diving or reading or sleeping or horse back riding or eating or talking to each other or kayaking or walking or listening to birds chattering or indulging in the spa or "talking story" at the bar or hiking or taking pictures or meditating or dreaming? Nothing much. And in the evening, you can listen to Hawaiian musicians playing outdoors while hula dancers dance the many stories of their cultures. If you don't feel like reading your own books or if you aren't ready to fall asleep, every night the Village staff brings you something called "Storytelling at Ka'upulehu." It's a booklet of local folklore with a glossary on the back, amusing, haunting, and always educational; reading one every night before you drift off helps to pull you deeper under the spell of Kona Village.

Is there any downside to Kona Village, some may wonder? It's not cheap. But there are deals. Some include extra nights or "meals included;" you'd have to go online (www.konavillage.com) to find out. But even if you wind up paying a lot, what you take back with you is hard to find anywhere at any price. Anything else? Well, the great part is that you're in Hawaii. So is the risky part. One morning we left our hale at 9:45 am and found a note on our door left at 9:20 am. Here's what it said in part: "Aloha Kona Village Guests: We have been notified by the Civil Defense Agency that the State of Hawaii is on tsunami watch. We will keep you notified as additional information is received..." By 10:00 am Suzanne and I had our Jeep completely packed. We then stopped by the main office only to discover that the tsunami watch had been cancelled. Let's just say it was a good dress rehearsal. There's no getting around it. You're on an island and islands are vulnerable. Everything is different, the air, the smells, the tastes, the climate changes, the ocean, everything. But that's also the whole point.

And at Kona Village, like anywhere on any Hawaiian island, if you wake in the middle of the night, listening to the waves breathing their soft (or loud) dialogues with the moon, do get up and stand outside your hale. The same staggeringly starlit sky that guided early Polynesian navigators from Tahiti to Hawai'i in large canoes centuries ago, can be an inspiration for you to discover a permanent channel to yourself and your own happiness. It's not just poetry or wishful thinking. It works. They found Hawaii by following the stars. You can find your own Hawaii and with it balance, peace of mind, and a taste of real happiness.

Meditation: Recharge On The Job

2009-10-26T10:14:43Z

Meditation is proven to help improve concentration and alertness, and it can even boost test scores and on-the-job efficiency.

Soren Gordhamer: Mindfulness With Email: 4 Steps

2009-10-22T16:07:28Z

Email is one of the central means of communication in our increasingly connected world, but as helpful as it can be, we can become a slave to it. Living increasingly distracted and rushed lives as we constantly check for new messages, email may impact our stress levels and productiveness.

When this happens, email becomes a mindless activity we find ourselves doing more and more throughout the day, but enjoying it less and less. Essentially, the more do it, the more unpleasant and ineffective it becomes.

Below are four steps for emailing wisely and effectively.

1) Attend to Objective First

It's easy to turn on the computer intending to compose and send emails that need to go out, but before we know it, we open new emails, follow a link in one, then quickly become snarled in the web known as the Internet. Before you know it, an hour has gone by and you've yet to attend to your task.

One helpful exercise is to write down, preferably in a notebook, the emails you need to send, including any thoughts for what you want to include in each. When you open your email, compose and send those emails before any other activity, including reading any new emails you may have received. Focus first on the emails you need to send and only then decide if other matters need your attention online, including reading new emails. Get the one thing done before tackling others.

2) Give it a Day

Most emails can benefit from having a day in between before responding. I sometimes break this rule when a situation is timely or someone has a simple question needing a quick response, but I find that most communication can wait a day. This helps in the following ways:

• It saves time as we may realize during this period that correspondence we initially thought needed a response actually did not.

• It slows the pace of communication so that it is not a continuous back-and-forth, encouraging thoughtful communication.

• It provides time for us to decide how we want to respond. What we feel in the moment after reading an email may not be the best response.

• It expresses that time is valuable - that we have other tasks to attend to. This will likely encourage others to be more conscious of the emails they send.

3) No Email Will Make Us Happy

Often there is a sense that a new email is either going to bring us happiness or misery. We often check our email non-stop hoping for some "good news," then find ourselves increasingly disappointed when it does not arrive.

Constant checking often distracts us from our other work and responsibilities. When we understand this, the addictive quality lessens. In fact, we could say that we start using it rather than it using us.

4) It is a Tool -- and only a Tool

Email is a tool that is helpful in some situations and unhelpful in others. A hammer, for example, is a great tool for pounding nails, but not so good for cutting wood or screwing in screws. Just as it would be difficult to try to build a house with only a hammer, so too is it ineffectual to rely on email as our only means of communication.

It could be that a phone call or simply walking over to a colleague and talking are much better ways to communicate. Such direct communication often addresses an issue more effectively than a whole slew of emails would.

Summary

I have no plans to give up my email, and I doubt most readers do either. It's a bit like a family member we may dislike at times, yet we know that they are in our lives to stay. The challenge is to notice when we use email and when it starts to use us. It doesn't ask us to check it at the expense of our other activities. We cannot blame it. We can, however, explore ways to successfully engage it, such that rather than be a mindless activity, it becomes a mindful and creative one.

***

Soren Gordhamer works with individuals and groups on living with greater mindfulness and purpose in our technology-rich age. He is the author of Wisdom 2.0: Ancient Secrets for the Creative and Constantly Connected (HarperOne, 2009). Website: http://www.sorengordhamer.com

Carl Honore: In Praise Of Slow Sex

2009-10-15T08:39:16Z

The other day a buddy of mine was making love to his new girlfriend when her iPhone beeped with an incoming text message. Like any guy, he hoped she would ignore the alert - or even fail to notice it altogether.

The opposite happened. The woman opened her eyes, grabbed the phone from the bedside table and read the message. She then typed out a short reply.

"To be fair, she apologized and suggested we go back to the sex," says my crestfallen friend. "But it was kind of a mood-killer."

Two conclusions can be drawn from an anecdote like this. The first is that my friend maybe needs to brush up on his sexual technique. The second is that his girlfriend's behavior reveals something alarming about the way we live nowadays.

In this media-drenched, multitasking, always-on age, many of us have forgotten how to unplug and immerse ourselves completely in the moment. We have forgotten how to slow down.

Not surprisingly, this fast-forward culture is taking a toll on everything from our diet and health to our work and the environment. It's ruining our sex lives, too.

There is certainly a lot of fast sex around these days. Just look at the tsunami of pornography washing over the Internet.

Even when we stop watching and start doing, we struggle to give sex our full attention. Surveys suggest that a fifth of us now interrupt lovemaking to read an email, take a call or fire off a tweet. Even Paris Hilton, that great cultural icon du jour, reached for the cell in her notorious sex video.

Like everything else, sex has become a commodity, something to be consumed and made more efficient. Lifestyle magazines are stuffed with advice on how to reach orgasm more quickly, more often. Busy couples sit down with their planners to schedule nooky as they might a meeting with a financial advisor or a visit to the dentist.

The result is a grim paradox: at a time when our culture is marinated in sexual messages, many of us are having less sex. Millions of people - mainly men, but women, too - now choose fast and easy porn over the real thing.

And when we do have sex, it's often not very satisfying. Just ask the millions of women now being diagnosed with low libido. True to the quick-fix culture, the pharmaceutical industry insists that a Viagra-style pill is the best cure for this affliction. But speeding up genital blood flow is a red herring. The real problem is not that women are ill or flawed. It is that living in fast-forward is a recipe for bad sex.

Don't get me wrong. Speed and sex can be happy bedfellows. Sometimes a swift roll in the hay is just the ticket. Trust me, I like a quickie as much as the next person.

But if sex is always fast, then we do miss out. Slowing down between the sheets can deepen the emotional, psychological, even spiritual power of sex. It also gives the body - especially the female body - the time it needs to warm up.

Slow Sex is not rocket science - anyone can do it. Start by slowing down outside the bedroom. Trim your schedule so you have the time and energy for those little exchanges that stoke desire throughout the day - flirting, touching, stolen glances, conversation and whispered fantasies, small favors and gifts. After that kind of foreplay, even a quickie will deliver more bang for your buck.

Make the bedroom a Slow haven: no phones, no orgasm quotas, no deadlines; just two people in the moment together, going with the flow. Slip into a relaxed, sensual rhythm with massage, stroking, eye contact, breathing in unison, maybe even blindfolds. That may sound a bit cheesy, but, as the Pointer Sisters observed, it's the lover with a slow hand who makes the earth move.

Slow Sex is catching on. A few years ago, we all sniggered when the pop star Sting talked of romping Tantric-style for hours on end, but now couples all over the world are flocking to workshops to learn the lost art of unhurried lovemaking. Anecdotal evidence suggests that recession-hit lovers, no longer able to afford so many nights on the town, are staying home and making more time for intimacy. Slow Sex coaches are springing up and Italy even has an official Slow Sex movement.

All of this is part of a broader Slow revolution. Everywhere, people are discovering that doing things more slowly often means doing them better and enjoying them more. It means living life instead of rushing through it.

You can apply this to everything from food to parenting to work. But sex is a nice place to start.

As Mae West famously quipped: "Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."

Arthur Rosenfeld: The Link Between Individuality And Health

2009-10-13T14:36:58Z

The October 9 issue of The Week reports that during this month's gigantic celebration of the 60th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic, more than 1000 Chinese soldiers sought mental health counseling after drilling for the event.

http://www.theweek.com/article/index/101110/The_world_at_a_glance____International

Why? Because the training sessions required microscopic levels of coordination between the soldiers (limited blinking, holding their rifles at precisely the same level etc.) for a satisfying visual effect.

Readers may remember the same sort of painstaking choreography during the opening ceremonies of last year's Beijing Olympic games, especially during the martial arts segment, when thousands of practitioners in flowing robes moved in unison across the world's stage to demonstrate tai chi, the crown jewel of Chinese martial arts and culture.

Supporters of communist ideology may lionize the subjugation of the individual to the greater good (usually, unfortunately, for the benefit of the ruling few) but it turns out that such a high level of conformity in public performances isn't very good for one's health. In addition to the physical rigors of simultaneously monitoring one's one movements, the mental effort of trying to maintain awareness of what everyone else is doing--at least at the level required of the soldiers in the anniversary celebration--can be a source of debilitating stress.

Every dancer or performer knows this kind of work has its challenges, and every soldier knows the far worse consequences combat can bring, but marrying this kind of external focus to the practice of tai chi flies in the face of the very purpose of the art, which is to bring our focus inward. Tai chi practice is a laboratory for the exploration of our internal world, a place where we can test the relationship between mind and body in the context of exercises that follow the Daoist principles underlying the art. We know these principles as "don't meet force with force" and "go with the flow," but a principle that is lesser known, despite tai chi's much vaunted balance benefits, is the notion of keeping one's wuji, or personal equilibrium.

As our world grows speedier, greedier and more crowded, the pressure to conform increases. Wittingly or not, intentionally or not, each and every one of us is caught up in a web of external circumstances. We look around for cues for everything from what to eat and how to dress to what opinions to hold and how to prioritize our lives. Some of this learning is constructive, but much of it is not, primarily because the external noise of conformity drowns out the voice of our own intuition - the subconscious guide to our own true north.

The practice of mindful arts such as tai chi, meditation and yoga has as a central benefit the power to focus our attention inward, to draw us down and out of the flood of external stimuli and into a world where our thoughts, our heartbeat, our physical alignment and the rhythm of our breath are the most significant markers. These practices are the consummate expression of our individuality. Nobody could fail to be moved by the spectacle of the opening Olympic ceremony or impressed by the People's Republic founding anniversary celebration, but when a mind-body practice is turned into entertainment it loses its healing power.

Certainly there can be great value in coordinating effort with others as well as honing our sensitivity to those around us, and much has been made of the joys and benefits of altruism and compassion, but to best contribute to the planet and society--as well as to enjoy optimum health--we must heed our intuition and keep our emotional and physical balance. There's no better way to do this than with a daily mind-body practice done not for the crowd, but for you, in all your individual glory.

Sara Avant Stover: Unplug And Recharge: How To Wake Up Happy

2009-10-07T17:44:00Z

This morning I woke up at 4:00 a.m. Not by choice, mind you, but because the full moon was shining so brightly through the window above my bed.

Having been up too late the night before, I was a little miffed -- I really needed my Z's.... So before slipping out of bed to start my day, here's what I did to help:

(I thought I'd share it with you, in hopes that it could inspire you to get up on the right side of the bed, too!)

1) SOFTEN. When I realized I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, my body immediately became tense. So, I softened. That is, I let my body sink into the smooth cotton of my pajamas, and beyond them, my sheets. I noticed my jaw and shoulders were starting to clench and so I began to release them, letting that relaxation spread through my whole body.

2) BREATHE MORE DEEPLY. To imprint this ease into my body, I started breathing more deeply. First I filled my lower belly with my breath, then my upper belly, then my chest. I did this several times.

3) GET EXCITED ABOUT THE DAY. Lastly, I started musing on all the wonderful things that I knew were ahead of me: a hot cup of tea and a bowl of oatmeal, a walk in the crisp autumn air, dinner with girlfriends. And, I also got excited (and curious) about all the wonderful things that would come my way that I could not yet even foresee or imagine...

What about you, are there any pre-waking rituals that help you start your day off on the right foot?

For more tips about healthy living, visit my website: http://www.thewayofthehappywoman.com

Stephanie Gertler: Old Hopes

2009-10-07T17:15:12Z

My husband and I spent the weekend in New Hope, Pennsylvania. A strange place for me to re-visit -- I spent several weekends there back in the early 1970s with a boyfriend whose grandparents owned an inn on the Delaware River in a bordering town. I remember how we borrowed my parents' Volvo to make the first trip, and the feeling of freedom I had as he and I drove off. Typically, I was not "allowed" to drive with anyone who wasn't an adult, and especially with someone who was young and male. Prior to this journey, my mother dropped me off for "dates" and picked me up at the end of the evening if a car was involved. One would think I would have been humiliated -- to some extent I was, to another extent, her concern was so heartfelt I trusted the validity. Somehow, my mother trusted this boy -- and I suppose, trusted the commercialized safety of the Volvo.

My memories are spotty from those weekends: I can picture the angular face of the boy's grandmother and her steely-gray hair clearly, but I don't recall his grandfather. I do recall (although less vividly as the years go on) going to an Ingmar Bergman Film Festival in New Hope (or perhaps it was merely a festival or just a showing) and watching The Seventh Seal in an outdoor arena. The movie haunted me for years: Death and Antonius Block playing chess against a dank, gray, cloudy backdrop. As I think about it now, I don't know that I would want to watch it at this point in my life.

As with everything else that's changed in the last 39 years, the town of New Hope has been usurped by progress and discovered by an upscale urban crowd, weekend tourists trying to grab a taste of "quaint," and a departure from the proverbial rat race. The shops and restaurants are over-priced, and traffic is snarled what with everyone in an SUV trying to make their way through the narrow streets. Driving through the countryside in the Bucks County towns is nearly frightening as the over-sized vehicles make hairpin turns on roads built to accommodate horses and buggies. I couldn't recall whether or not the wide paved road leading from the highway existed 39 years ago. If it did, and obviously there was some sort of thoroughfare, then surely it wasn't littered with fast food restaurants and mega stores as it is now.

My husband drove me back to the inn where the old boyfriend and I had visited 39 years ago. I suppose it looked the same, although there was only one portion of it that truly looked familiar to me. The swimming pool was certainly a new addition. There was a door on one of the "out" buildings that I recalled well - perhaps the one that led to the private family quarters. I'm uncertain. The interior of the inn was only vaguely familiar since my memories apparently are relegated to concepts rather than specifics. I recalled the feelings I had when I was there: Being out of the city, the flow of the river, a sense of independence, thinking that the relationship with the boy was destined to be "forever."

I was seventeen, an age of innocence when love is lasting, and the future barely exists beyond the next morning.

Lately, when Mark and I travel, whether distances or merely a 90-minute drive away, I am reluctant to come home. It takes us both at least 24 hours to decompress as we start a weekend, feeling what we know is only temporarily untethered: a weekend away is simply not enough. This past weekend, there was something about the old stone houses overlooking fields and the river that was particularly compelling in terms of considering what could be a different lifestyle.

As we drove out of town back to the highway, we bought green peppers, white corn, amazingly sweet eggplant, and tomatoes that, although faded on the outside, were red and sweet on the inside -- all at a roadside farm stand at a ridiculously low price. The latter is such a city-girl kind of observation, isn't it? And yet the purchase was somehow symbolic of a simplicity that my husband and I seem to have lost (did we ever have it?) as we immerse ourselves in the urban culture we chose years ago.

So, as the fall descends rapidly after a summer that feels like it never was, I think of the vistas merely 90 minutes away in all directions where life might be simpler. But then again, is the longing for literally greener grass only whimsy?

There at the inn from long ago, I stood with my husband. We are attached not only by love and friendship, but as parents to our children. We are connected as well through the mundane -- bank accounts, mortgages, insurance policies, one another's families, the collision of our professional worlds (the physicians in his are typically buttoned up; the artists in mine are typically pierced), each other's "next of kin" -- although not "blood," he and I are family. I think back to being 17, and having no idea that 39 years later I would re-visit that idyllic spot with a handsome silver-haired man in sensible water-proof shoes who held an umbrella over my head as the rain poured down and I laugh: Who knew back then that one day I would be in love with someone older than my father?

Read more: Unplug and Recharge, Living News

Karen Stabiner: Unplugged, Saddled Up, Recharge: My Techno-Kingdom for a Horse

2009-10-07T12:30:20Z

The easy unplug is this: No devices while eating, period, ever, end of sentence,
non-negotiable.

The more challenging and glorious unplug is seventeen hands high, about 1200 pounds, possessed of four gears and reverse. I am a confirmed city slicker, but when I have a
chance I steal over to a Los Angeles canyon and ride a large chestnut horse who seems to
think he was put on this earth to lift my spirits.

I will never be a great or fearless rider; those are goals for other, younger people.
Still, here is what I can do, much of which I could not do a few years ago: Ride in each
of those gears, get my various limbs to work in harmony while doing so (not as easy as it
looks), jump over jumps so tiny that the horse probably didn't even notice them, though
to me they look very large. I can relax my shoulders and arms, again, not so easy when my
normal work posture involves tensing them up.

For the time I'm riding, I can forget everything that's waiting for me -- and if that
isn't unplugged I don't know what is. Sometimes I find myself solving problems that
refused to yield when I was actively wrestling with them, back in my office. Sometimes I
remember my ten-year-old horse-crazy self, or play movies in my head of my daughter
riding. There is something to be said for the dependable waltz-beat of a canter and the
calm of the sitting trot. I even like grooming the big guy. It springs my brain.

I don't Twitter, so I like to think I'm not overly-plugged, but every now and then I
experience equipment overload. I'm tethered to a computer because I write, I'm adept at
texting because it's the undergraduate daughter's communications mode of choice, I know
how to work remote controls for two different systems in two different cities, and I
almost remember how to work the iPod I rarely use. This may not seem like a lot, but I'm
old enough to have written an early book on a typewriter. It feels really busy.
But you can't be busy around a horse. They don't like big gestures, big noises, surprises
of any kind. They like a light touch, the slow move, the quiet approach. I used to ride
around with my cell phone in my pocket, because we?re all terrified of being cut off, but
I don't do that anymore. There will be plenty of time to check for messages later.

Visit http://www.karenstabiner.comwww.karenstabiner.com or write to Karen at info@karenstabiner.com.

Karen Leland: Need To Recharge? Get Rid Of What's Weighing You Down

2009-10-07T11:02:08Z

This week I sold my house, found a new place to live, arranged for a moving company and helped my husband get prepared for his back surgery coming up at the end of the week.

Oh and by the way, I cleaned the house, took the dog to the groomers and somehow managed to fit in my day job and pen a few columns for the web sites I write for. I'm exhausted.

Looking back, I can only think of one other year (early first marriage, bad divorce) that was as traumatic, upsetting, scary and plain old hard as this one has been. I can't wait to wave goodbye to 2009, and I don't think I'm alone.

In the face of this year's adversity - financial and otherwise - I've also had a serious realization - I need to recharge. Not the typical have a massage, take a weekend away, spend quality time with family, kind of recharge, but a life-recharge.

The opportunity to step back and reflect on my first 49 years and discover what passions and possibilities might occur over the next few decades. To achieve this life-recharge, I knew that the first thing I needed to do was get rid of what has been weighing me down with stress during the day and waking me up with worry at night. And that's just what I've spent the past few months doing.

I started with something that while it may seem insignificant and small, changed my whole world. I downsized my technology. I got rid of all phones but my cell phone. If friends, family, potential clients or telemarketers want to reach out, there's only one number they can call. More importantly, there is only one voicemail I need to check.

Next, I moved on to tackle a problem of technological clutter that had been vexing me for years. I got rid of all my computers, except for one MacBook Pro lap top. No more wondering if this file was on the office computer, while that one was on the home computer. I sync it all with my iPhone and where I go, so goes my one and only computer. And yes, I do regularly back it up.

Now that I had tackled a few smaller items, I was ready to move onto an item that would score me big points on my life-recharge project. We sold almost all our real estate. With the exception of some investment property in Florida (don't ask) we managed within a six week period of time to sell two investment homes and our main residence. The day I signed those papers I lost a bundle, but could feel my batteries stirring in my soul.

My husband and I have decided to rent for now and since our up and coming rental is a condo, 1/2 the size of our former house, I've got more to purge as I pursue the path of the life-recharge project - one weighty item at a time.

Stay tuned for next's weeks post when I give pointers on how to clear the clutter from your life.

Karen Leland is author of Watercooler Wisdom: How Smart People Prosper in the Face of Conflict, Pressure and Change. Read more at www.karenleland.com

Read more: Unplug and Recharge, The Balanced Life, Recharge, Featured Contributor, Clutter, Living News

Elena Brower: Art of Attention: Unplug and Recharge With Pranic Healing

2009-10-06T22:02:31Z
In the past few years I have begun practicing Pranic Healing, a very particular form of healing that has served me in a cumulative, profound way. It involves becoming aware of the field of energy that surrounds each of us, and how that field has been affected - either congested or depleted - by our experiences both past and current.

My teacher is Mark Pellerano, whose own teacher, Master Choa Kok Sui, now deceased, was the founder of Pranic Healing. In a series of introductory private sessions with him, I learned how to scan (check the level of energy in a particular area of the body, mine or someone else's), cleanse (sweep, or clear the congestion or depletion from the area), energize (revitalize the area), and stabilize once the work has been done.

Disclaimer: I was a cynic in the field of "energy work" prior to this. I doubted it every week, and was always newly surprised about the efficiency and effectiveness of the healing. As a devout Level II student of Reiki, which involves actual physical touch, it took time for me to find an authentic connection to the possibilities for Pranic Healing. Years later, after teaching several Introductory courses with Mark at the studio in New York I founded almost 8 years ago, time after time I'm completely thrilled to watch so many people with no previous healing experience easily sense the effects of Pranic Healing. Note that it took me a long time to wrap myself around the language - let yourself experience it and slowly become comfortable with it. It sounded too "loving" for me at first - now I see how crucial it is for us to invite (in no uncertain terms) the healing of forgiveness, peace, abundance, gratitude and inner strength into our lives.

Which brings me to how I unplug and recharge. The meditation that is the cornerstone of Pranic Healing brings us to a very particular understanding of how connected we are to the power source that empowers us all. It's called the Meditation on the Twin Hearts.
It takes just a few minutes, releases negativity of all sorts and helps us to strengthen ourselves inwardly. Every time I take the time to open myself as a conduit for the healing of my own heart and the heart of the world, I am quietly uplifted and fully recharged.

A useful and clear book on the subject, entitled Your Hands Can Heal You, is readily available and written by another well-known teacher of Pranic Healing, Master Stephen Co.

This serves as a high recommendation for this work, and the strong hope that you will release any doubt that this sort of healing work is indeed possible for all of us.

Read more: Energy Work, Virayoga, Meditation, Meditation on Twin Hearts, Healing, Master Choa Kok Sui, Energy Healing, Mark Pellerano, Pranic Healing, Elena Brower, Unplug and Recharge, Living News

Alana B. Elias Kornfeld: How We Unplug & Recharge

2009-10-06T15:35:08Z
Sometimes, we just need to unplug.

No speeding to meditation class. No updating Facebook profiles. No furious recitations of positive affirmations or stuffing healthy food into our mouths too fast. No compulsively -- okay, obsessively -- thumbing through iPhones, BlackBerries and health journals. Yes, stimulation is all around us -- in our pockets, on our beds, constant, clickable companions. And, yes, it's all moving at such warp speed that we can't help but try and keep up -- raise your hand if you've checked your Blackberry during yoga class!

Still, there's a reason why most everything has an off button--and if it doesn't we can make up our own. So in honor of "In Praise of Slowness: How a Worldwide Movement is Challenging the Cult of Speed," Arianna's inaugural book club pick, we asked HuffPost's Living bloggers to tell us how they slow down. That is, when they do slow down. Which is all the time, right?

Dr. Patricia Fitzgerald, Wellness Editor, Huffington Post:
My favorite way to Unplug and Recharge is by visiting a Korean spa here in Los Angeles called Olympic Spa. I get scrubbed and massaged Korean style and enjoy their hot mineral baths and Jade steam sauna. Then I top off the experience with some homemade seaweed soup and a tasty Korean lunch in their restaurant. After spending a few hours at Olympic Spa, I feel like I've been on vacation for a week. Aahh.....

Tara Stiles, Founder of the New York-based yoga studio, Strala; face and resident expert of the Women's Health Yoga Channel:
I like to sneak into a cozy spot in the back row at Strala when Mike, my husband, is teaching, take class, and not worry about performing, or caring if I stay in perfect alignment or balance. I need to unplug and recharge as much as I am plugged in. Paying attention to this keeps my own mental and physical health in the best shape, and also helps me stay as useful as possible to other people. All of the teaching, writing, traveling, talking, and performing of health care and yoga is wasted without as many hours of practice and reflection. You can't teach or give what you don't have.

Dr. Alex Benzer, Author, Tao of Dating for Women, Tao of Dating For Men:
For the most part, I keep the onslaught of extraneous information at bay by circumscribing my online time. Then, for a quick local unplug, I go to yoga class. When breathing and not falling down become your top priorities, you pretty much obliterate all the stuff in your head that doesn't matter. Running works, too.

But the ultimate unplug is travel. I go somewhere the gizmos just plain don't work and commune directly with the Earth and the people on it. Sedona was good for that, as was my jaunt through the Baltic states.

Sarah Lovinger, M.D., Executive Director, Chicago chapter, Physicians for Social Responsibility:
In the summer, I head to the beach at least three times/week. I live on the western shore of Lake Michigan, and the easiest way for me to unwind is to spend time at the lakefront with my fold-up chair and books, magazines, and of course, the Sunday New York Times. My daughter is now old enough to swim without my keeping an eye on her constantly (that's the lifeguard's job), so I just look up from my reading every now and then to find her playing in the water or on the sand, and then return to my relaxation.

Elena Brower, Certified Anusara® teacher, owner of VIRAYOGA, author, wife, mother:
The meditation that is the cornerstone of Pranic Healing brings us to a very particular understanding of how connected we are to the power source that empowers us all. It's called the Meditation on the Twin Hearts.

It takes just a few minutes, releases negativity of all sorts and helps us to strengthen ourselves inwardly. Every time I take the time to open myself as a conduit for the healing of my own heart and the heart of the world, I am quietly uplifted and fully recharged. Continue Reading...

Cara Barker, Pioneering Voice for the Sacred Feminine's Heart-Centered Living:
What a wonderful book topic! Much of my research has had to do with the successful, and the weariness they carry, and need to renew. Personally, I am reminded of the need, in that my daughter got married this weekend. Afterwhich, I unplugged by canceling work, taking a ferry over to Bainbridge Island, going on a long walk along the shore, meditated, ate healthy food, rested, and had a sleep-over. It was worth the 5am wake-up call to hop back on the ferry this morning to see my first clients, RECHARGED! Natural beauty returns me to my Center, my Spirit, and restores my heart to its healthy rhythm. Afterwhich, I felt recharged to write, to paint, and just plain smile. All this 'down-regulation,' this activation of the parasympathetic nervous system really recharges the system.

Dylan Ratigan, Host of "Morning Meeting" on MSNBC and "Freedom Talk" on WABC Radio:
The key to recharge for me, is total removal from the barrage of information that is work. Which means getting out of the city and as close to nature as possible. In my case it is next to a bird sanctuary on Long Island in two small cottages. It's a delightfully quiet, calm place. Nature for me, is the key to gaining perspective and regeneration.

Therese Borchard, Mental health blogger:
For 20 days in August I hide my computer in my closet and pretend there is no Internet. And I keep my weekends quiet. I shut down every Friday at 6 p.m. and I don't get back online until Monday at noon. My Facebook friends think I'm dead, but other than that, it's great.

Dr. Jon LaPook, Medical correspondent for the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric:
I go to Vermont and breathe in the fresh air and my family.

Susan Smalley, Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences at UCLA:
Ways I 'slow' down if I feel I'm moving too fast or am too connected with the iphone, computer etc.
1. Meditate - it can be as small as stopping and taking a few slow breaths to sitting for 30 minutes
2. Take a bath - it really does wash away stress
3. Take a walk - my husband and i do this everyday as a way to talk without the 'busyness of life' getting in the way
4. Be out in nature - sitting in my backyard or working in my son's garden reminds me of how easy life really is.
(I heard one time that the reason Nature is so comforting to the 'soul' is there aren't any expectations or criticisms from Nature - a squirrel can care less if you made the deal, passed a test, or succeeded in whatever job you might have; a tree is there 'accepting' you as you are).

Sadie Nardini, Founder, Core Strength Vinyasa Yoga, Author of the Road Trip Guide to the Soul:
Whenever I need to fill up on some good old soul fuel, I partake of the following (usually in this order): a yoga class, counting my blessings to broaden my perspective, a glass of pinot grigio and the inspiration to write a passable poem in my black book.

Kari Henley, President of the Board of Directors at the Women & Family Life Center:
One of the quickest, and most profound ways I unplug is by getting out in Nature, and hiking. If I am lucky enough to be near mountains, there is nothing like a walk through pristine aspens or redwoods, smelling butterscotch pine trees, and watching hawks soar through the clouds. The fresh winds literally blow the cobwebs out. Closer to home, going hiking in our local suburban woods offer a refreshing change of scenery- at a moment's notice. Slipping from sidewalks to a woodsy trail eases my mind into a softer place. Mushrooms abound, twigs snap underfoot, and gentle streams meander by. I can feel the frenzied pace of my technology filled life begin to loosen its hold, and come home refreshed and recharged.

Gail Lynne Goodwin, Ambassador of Inspiration, InspireMeToday.com:

To unplug, I head to the wilderness where I don't have cell coverage, as my iPhone goes with me most places. To totally unplug you'll find me in a forest where I can breathe in the fresh mountain air, or on the bow of a sailboat in the Caribbean with the salt spray on my face. When circumstances don't allow for either, closing my eyes and going there for 15 minutes in my mind works for a quick refresher too.

Gretchen Rubin, Writer working on The Happiness Project--an account of the year she spent test-driving every conceivable principle about how to be happy:
I re-read my favorite books from childhood. The Secret Garden, A Wrinkle in Time, To Kill a Mockingbird, Little Women, Peter Pan...they get better each time I read them. All the best reading is re-reading, and there's something particularly comforting about returning to the books that I read as a child

Alison Rose Levy, Health journalist, coach, and advocate:
As a health, psychology, and spirituality writer, I should probably claim to meditate, levitate, or ruminate, but in truth, I usually do one of three things: take a walk by the shady stream near home, lie down and take a nap with tabby twins, Tilly and Teek, or yes, I confess it, call Mom or one of my circle of five close ones. And there is of course, Leverage, the Timothy Hutton TV show featuring a team that helps the people and foils the bad guys. I'm addicted to it.

Srinivasan PIllay, Certified master coach, psychiatrist, brain imaging researcher and speaker:
I think that the key to unplugging and recharging is to be "juiced" long enough to have to do this as little as possible. great friends and family, meditation, inspiring work, a night out, doing something creative like writing music and staying connected with people around shared experiences keeps the juices flowing and the need for unplugging to a minimum. still, when this need does occur (apart from sleep), i make sure that my life is not in "balance" but in harmony with the forces that keep me feeling "alive", because i am much more likely to feel like i need to unplug from "balance" than inspiration. i once took a "horse and carriage" ride with a tourist friend who was visiting and was shocked to see how differently i noticed the stores, people, sidewalks and dust particles in the air. when i look at the crevices in the skin of loved ones in whom time has etched a memory in the form of character, i am unplugged from my static illusions and recharged by a sensation of the meaning of life without time in recognizing the illusion of form. to me, unplugging and recharging is an indication that my senses are overloaded. i head for the hills beyond the senses where passion, love and spirits roam.

Julia Moulden, New Radical: how we earn our living can become the way we give back:
How do I unwind? My bio says it all, "Julia kayaks as often as possible on Georgian Bay". Georgian Bay is a place as far, far away from the work world as I can get - but is still within easy driving distance of my home. It's part of the Great Lakes, off Lake Huron. I particularly like to paddle out of Killarney, the most beautiful place in the world. What's so great about Killarney? It's beyond the reach of Blackberries and cell phones. Killarney Provincial Park is where the Group of Seven did much of their painting. It's where the skull of the earth peeks through (pink granite reaches out into the clear waters of the bay). And, even at peak season, it's far from the madding crowd. Life is slow in Killarney. I sleep a lot. Read. Eat way too much home-cooked food. Hike the La Cloche range. Sail, especially under the stars. And paddle. What I don't do is check email or voice mail, or even think too much about what's going on in the busy, busy places I've left behind.

Ed And Deb Shapiro, Authors: BE THE CHANGE- How Meditation Can Transform You and the World:
We meditate every day and have what we call a designer's lifestyle -- we design it as we go along. Our offices are at home and we are surrounded by mountains so feel pretty chilled out most of the time. Ed skies, Deb swims, and we love the gym. For those extra laid back moments? We watch the Mentalist!

Heather Cabot, Mom blogger:
A run in the park always re-energizes my mind and my soul. But it is taking time to really focus on my children, away from the distractions of technology, that really makes me feel alive. My own mom reminds me all the time that being a mother of young kids forces you to slow down and be present. When you are reading a story or giving the kids a bath or making cookies with them or even just dancing around the living room, you have to unplug from the rest of the world. It is one of those delightful, unexpected gifts of motherhood.

Drew Pinsky, M.D., Addiction medicine specialist, host of the popular radio show Loveline and the star of the VH1 hit Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and its spin-off Sober House:
It isn't easy. As a physician, even when I unplug from my technological matrix I still feel compelled to check in with some patients or allow access from team members at the hospital. So in the past the only time I could really unplug was in the air! Now with the advent of inflight Wifi my compulsions drag me back to my tablets, phones and other paraphenalia of my drug of choice - information. Perhaps in a more reflective moment I might consider that connectedness is really what I seek. And, in fact, real connectedness is that which we share with those we love. The rest is just so much chatter. This is why I follow my wife, Susan's, good counsel to take regular family vacations, spend time with the ones I love especially where I cannot be reached. Or at least if I should attempt to practice my addiction it would be all but impossible.

Ashley Koff R.D., Registered dietitian (R.D.), named LA's Best Nutritionist three years running:
I'm learning to fly fish. I have seen folks out there with their blackberries and phones, but because I can be a little clumsy, I always put mine in the wet bag and as a result get to enjoy some unplugged time. What's more, many of the places I've gone fishing don't even get service - it's pretty powerful to be in parts of the US (as well as the rest of the world) and not get service. It reminds me of where we've come and where we may be headed. I like being unplugged and recharging. I see my world just a little bit differently, and hopefully that helps me to help others see the possibility too.

Anne Dilenschneider, Spirituality & Leadership Consultant:
I shop at our organic farmer's market twice a week and cook real dinners for myself and my landlord. This all began when my landlord brought home some kale from one of our local farmers and then admitted she'd never eaten kale. So I made a dinner that included kale, and I've been cooking for both of us several times a week ever since. I choose simple meals that take some time and attention to prepare. I may make a hearty soup, a tagine, a stir fry, a roasted vegetable dish, a fall fruit crisp or cobbler. As I prepare the meal, I light a candle on my counter and remember Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching that cutting carrots is a meditation. I do this best when I work slowly and by hand, so I don't use a food processor. And, I always ask the farmers at the market about their produce that I don't recognize so I can learn to cook something new. This helps me feel connected to the earth and to our rural community.

Dr. Steven L. Rosenberg, Podiatrist in private practice
I Unplug by watching my son play baseball, it takes me out of my world and puts me in his. It is a wonderful way to decompress and recharge!

Kay Goldstein, Clinical Psychologist and Taoist meditator:

Since I both teach and write about meditation, mindfulness and how to incorporate those practices into daily life, it's obvious that meditation would be one of the most important ways I unplug and recharge. But it is what I learned as a meditator that slows everything down for me even when I am not meditating. I find that when I simply notice what I am doing, thinking or planning instead of operating on auto-pilot, then everything seems to slow down. From that perspective, I can feel the urge to rush, to check my email one more time, to add some more items to my to do list. Resisting those urges (or addictions) can create another set of stresses, so I try not to force myself to do that. I just pay attention, take a few deep breathes and and accept what I am doing. In that moment of acceptance, it is much simpler to choose to do nothing or something that is nurturing. I find that a walk outdoors, a short nap, a good novel, a cup of tea ground me and quiet my mind. Time becomes fluid and I am often rewarded with noticing the beauty around me, the sound of a bird, the color of the maple tree, the scent of pine needles or newly cut grass. When I slow down and unplug in this way, I experience timelessness, flow and the innate intelligence of nature's rhythms.

Read more: In Praise of Slowness, Unplug and Recharge, Arianna Huffington, Slow Down, Slow, Living News

Huffington Post: Unplug And Recharge: In Praise of Slowness Inspires HuffPost Community

2009-10-06T13:13:12Z
In light of Arianna's new book club pick, Carl Honoré's In Praise of Slowness, the HuffPost community offers its thoughts on how to slow down and recharge.

Dr. Alex Benzer:

For the most part, I keep the onslaught of extraneous information at bay by circumscribing my online time. Then, for a quick local unplug, I go to yoga class. When breathing and not falling down become your top priorities, you pretty much obliterate all the stuff in your head that doesn't matter. Running works, too.

But the ultimate unplug is travel. I go somewhere the gizmos just plain don't work and commune directly with the Earth and the people on it. Sedona was good for that, as was my jaunt through the Baltic states.

Gail Lynne Goodwin:

To unplug, I head to the wilderness where I don't have cell coverage, as my iPhone goes with me most places. To totally unplug you'll find me in a forest where I can breathe in the fresh mountain air, or on the bow of a sailboat in the Caribbean with the salt spray on my face. When circumstances don't allow for either, closing my eyes and going there for 15 minutes in my mind works for a quick refresher too.

Sadie Nardini:

Whenever I need to fill up on some good old soul fuel, I partake of the following (usually in this order): a yoga class, counting my blessings to broaden my perspective, a glass of pinot grigio and the inspiration to write a passable poem in my black book.

Ashley Koff RD:

I'm learning to fly fish. I have seen folks out there with their blackberries and phones, but because I can be a little clumsy, I always put mine in the wet bag and as a result get to enjoy some unplugged time. What's more, many of the places I've gone fishing don't even get service - it's pretty powerful to be in parts of the US (as well as the rest of the world) and not get service. It reminds me of where we've come and where we may be headed. I like being unplugged and recharging. I see my world just a little bit differently, and hopefully that helps me to help others see the possibility too.

Dylan Ratigan:

The key to recharge for me, is total removal from the barrage of information that is work. Which means getting out of the city and as close to nature as possible. In my case it is next to a bird sanctuary on Long Island in two small cottages. It's a delightfully quiet, calm place. Nature for me, is the key to gaining perspective and regeneration.

Julia Moulden:

How do I unwind? My bio says it all, "Julia kayaks as often as possible on Georgian Bay".

Georgian Bay is a place as far, far away from the work world as I can get - but is still within easy driving distance of my home. It's part of the Great Lakes, off Lake Huron. And I particularly like to paddle out of Killarney, which is the most beautiful place in the world (a claim I take quite seriously - I've added a note to my will, ensuring that my ashes will be scattered there).

Craig Newmark:

It's hard to get me offline, since I'm doing periodic customer service from roughly 8 a.m. to maybe 10 p.m. or later . . .Offline, I'm probably meeting friends, maybe at Reverie Cafe in [San Francisco] or otherwise reading or watching TV. I read about a book per week or so, mostly genre stuff, and there's some TV I like a lot.

Biz Stone:

I usually run, paint, or help Livy [Livia, his wife, a self-described "wildlife rehabber"] -- sometimes I go with her when she releases a wild animal she has rehabilitated back to health.

Chris Hughes:

I read a good deal of fiction and non-fiction, watch independent movies, eat big time, and hike when I can.

Jeremy Stoppelman:

Nothing is better than my weekend solitary runs, with thumping house tunes, dog Darwin at my side, and a breathtaking view of the Golden Gate.

Markos Moulitsas Zúniga:

I used to never unplug. But my New Year's resolution last year was to find better balance, and I've succeeded. When I'm off the grid, I'm either on my bike (I ride 150-200 miles a week), or I'm spending time with my family. My kids seem to enjoy it when I close the lid of my laptop. I'm also a classical pianist and composer, and while that part of my life sagged the last few years as work took over my life, even that's making a comeback as of late.

Dennis Crowley:

I snowboard -- as many days a possible. Usually at Mount Snow, in Vermont, though we try to take at least one West Coast trip once a year (Whistler, Jackson Hole, Park City).

Henry Jenkins:

For most of my life, we had a cabin in the North Georgia mountains where I could go to swim and hike and get away from the world. We sold the cabin a few years ago and I have not found a similar retreat yet. I do still swim every morning -- there's a pool on the roof of our building -- and I do still like to go on walks. Some years ago, I instituted walking office hours so that I could have uninterupted time with my students and staff.

Peter Rojas:

I may be in the minority here, but I don't feel like my life is moving too quickly for me, so don't ever feel like I need to slow down! Not that I'm not busy, just that I have a lot of control over what I do and when I do it.

Though if you just mean, 'What do you do when you're not at a computer?', I suppose the answer would be to do stuff everyone else does: spend time with my son, read books, have lunch with friends, cook, etc. I feel pretty lucky to have a life that feels pretty well-balanced right now.

David Weinberger:

Oy? No computer at all? So computer games and hobbyist computer programming don't count? How about long walks in the woods, then? Kidding! I am insanely boring. I watch TV. I read. And after 40 years of jogging, I remain startlingly out of shape. (I am a totally pathetic jogger: not much faster than walking, and a 3.5 mile capacity.) The truth is that I'd rather be connected than not.

Read more: Unplugging, Recharging, Unplug and Recharge, Slowness, Slowing Down, Living News

Julia Moulden: To Lake, With Love

2009-10-06T12:50:41Z
There we were, two middle-aged, Prada-clad women with great haircuts, sitting in a boardroom. Between us on the table, her Blackberry buzzed relentlessly. She ignored it, I suspect, because her mouth was hanging open. Although I'd been her number one speechwriter for many years, somehow I'd never mentioned what I do in my spare time. Clearly, because she considers me to be so completely urban, she was having trouble picturing me with dirt under my manicured fingernails.

How do I unwind? My bio says it all, "Julia kayaks as often as possible on Georgian Bay".

Georgian Bay is a place as far, far away from the work world as I can get - but is still within easy driving distance of my home. It's part of the Great Lakes, off Lake Huron. And I particularly like to paddle out of Killarney, which is the most beautiful place in the world (a claim I take quite seriously - I've added a note to my will, ensuring that my ashes will be scattered there).

What's so great about Killarney? It's beyond the reach of Blackberries and cell phones. Killarney Provincial Park is where the Group of Seven did much of their painting. It's where the skull of the earth peeks through (pink granite reaches out into the clear waters of the bay). And, even at peak season, it's far from the madding crowd.

I do confess that I have had, as my middle stepson so eloquently put it, "enough camping for my whole life!". So, these days, after putting ashore, I make use of the charmingly rustic facilities at Killarney Mountain Lodge. It's a caught in a time warp, this lodge (check out the 1960s-era Carousel Lounge). And it even has a connection to Jimmy Hoffa.

Life is slow in Killarney. I sleep a lot. Read. Eat way too much home-cooked food. Hike the La Cloche range. Sail, especially under the stars. And paddle. What I don't do is check email or voice mail, or even think too much about what's going on in the busy, busy places I've left behind.

Is it such a stretch to see a woman who loves city life as someone who's also capable of embracing the bush? It seems that this dichotomy has been part of my identity forever. Just the other day my 79-year-old mother told me that when I was a little girl she could dress me up and take me to tea parties with her friends or watch me climb trees with my brothers. Fifty-three years later, it still works for me.

Julia Moulden is on tour, talking about the New Radicals.

Read more: Group of Seven, Blackberry, Jimmy Hoffa, Prada, Georgian Bay, Recuperation, Relaxation, Escape, Killarney, Unplug and Recharge, Living News

Gretchen Rubin: A Secret To Happiness: Read For Fun

2009-10-06T11:30:45Z
I've noticed something when I ask people what they're reading: they often name some highly estimable, dense, serious book, and then confess that they've been reading it for months.

I pressed one friend to explain his reading habits. "I just don't have the time," he said.

"Well, your books sound a bit dry," I said. "Why don't you read something more enjoyable?"

"When I read, I want to learn something," he said virtuously. "I don't want to waste my time with something that's not worthwhile."

"But you watch a lot of trashy TV," I pointed out. I happened to know that he was a fan of shows like VH1's "I Love the Eighties," some reality TV, and lots of sports. "You don't force yourself to watch nothing but documentaries when you're watching TV, why shouldn't you read something more fun?"

He didn't really answer me. But I think this exchange highlights a problem with the way a lot of people approach reading.

In general, reading is supposed to be fun! Go out and get hold of a book you want to read.

If you find yourself saying things like, "I really ought to read this," or "I'll be glad that I read this," or "This is an important book," you probably don't really want to read that book.

Sometimes, of course, we all need to read books that we aren't particularly interested in--say, for work. I'm lucky in that way, because the way I choose my work subject is by asking myself, "What's a subject about which I'd like to read 500 books?" And then I read 500 books and write my own book on that subject. Now, not everyone call pull that off, true.

But along with the books I read for work, following my resolution to "Read better" and "Read at whim," I let myself read books just because I feel like it. I read a lot of children's literature. I re-read a lot of books--this weekend, I re-read George Orwell's A Collection of Essays. I read a lot of odd books. I read a lot, generally. But if I try to make myself read something that I don't really feel like reading, my reading drops off considerably. I just don't find the time for it. But when I'm reading something good, I find myself reading for hours each day.

Samuel Johnson observed, "A man should read whatever his immediate inclination prompts him to; though, to be sure, if a man has a science to learn, he must regularly and resolutely advance." He added, "What we read with inclination makes a much stronger impression. If we read without inclination, half the mind is employed in fixing the attention; so there is but one half to be employed on what we read."

Science backs this up. When researchers tried to figure out what helped third- and fourth-graders remember what they read, they found that the students' interest in the passage was far more important than the "readability" of the passage--thirty times more important.

When you have the right book, nothing is more fun than reading. So go to a bookstore or a library or online and get a book that you want to read. The test? You should feel like going straight home and sitting down to read it, immediately.

Don't judge yourself. Let yourself read what you want. Remember, it's supposed to be FUN. And it is fun, nothing is more fun, if you're reading something you enjoy.

* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you'd like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the "at" sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I'm trying to thwart spammers.) Just write "Resolutions Chart" in the subject line.

Read more: Energy, Leisure, Reading, Fun, Happiness, Unplug and Recharge, Living News

Lea Lane: The Inner Journey I Had To Take: Two Weeks Alone on a Cliff

2009-09-22T13:42:44Z
This past summer of rising angst and hate-mongering reminds me of a difficult time in my life when I managed to find peace and strength, by myself, on the edge of the continent. If you are feeling anxious you might consider a time-out for solitude and restoration, as well. Mine was extreme:

In July, 2001, two weeks after I reserved a cabin on an island off the coast of New Brunswick Canada for a romantic getaway with my husband Chaim, he was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumor, and three months later he was gone.

The next summer, when I got a call from the cabin owners, I had forgotten all about the getaway reservation. To hell with it: I decided to go to the cliff by myself. I loaded my black Miata, the one Chaim had gifted me. I brought few clothes, but I did haul some things we both liked, including CDs of Mel Torme, Bach, The Eagles, Dvorjak, Leo Kottke, and our favorite Alsatian wine, chocolate, biscotti and vinegar potato chips. At least I would enjoy our music and food.

I kept the top down the whole way on the drive from Westchester County, and overnighted in Augusta, Maine in a Motel 6 as darkness fell, around nine. The only available room had a broken bed, but I slept in the other one, opened the windows to erase the smell of smoke, and fell asleep with "The Mole" on TV, wondering what I was doing. I missed Chaim, terribly.

Arriving by ferry on Grand Manan island the next day, I drove to the western side and parked the car in a clearing. The young cabin owner who ran a local kayak company, met me there in an All-Terrain-Vehicle--and drove me over a rutted dirt road, into thick woods. The cabin was set on a little-used hiking trail, along 30-foot basalt cliffs towering above rocky beaches, covered twice a day by the highest tides in the world. The view overlooked the setting sun, and a weir where fisherman trapped herring in purse seiner boats. The structure was handmade with pine trim and floors, powered by the sun, augmented by a generator. Using the in-house-out-house earth toilet, I empathized with my cat, left behind with my son.

At first I felt like a child, playing house. I picked daisies and a blue flower called cow vetch and plopped them in a glass by the windows. I cooked veggies and chicken in the little kitchen. But by the third day, when I walked 25 minutes back to my car, and then drove to check my email at the kayak office, I must have seemed starved for company.

The sympathetic cabin owner offered his dog, so Sole, a chocolate lab, joined me on the cliff. She offered a chance to hear the sound of my voice without feeling like a fool, and patiently waited for me to arise, romping near me along steep paths, chasing butterflies on our morning walk. She leaped and pawed and licked me when I stirred sardines into her kibble. And she stared at me as if she understood more than I did.

Along the cliffs I passed streams and waving meadows of grasses. Waves crashed below, ocean-like, in the fierce tides, and herring gulls and bald eagles and osprey wheeled and screeched. As the days passed, sounds became simple and pure, and more intense: the lapping water, wind, bird song, the generator, a foghorn from a nearby lighthouse. A red squirrel scurried on the roof each morning about six, waking me so that I could see the dawn. My CDs seemed superfluous. The cabin's satellite TV remained unused, the cell phone hardly used, the hot tub stayed covered.

I read, wrote, slept on the deck, and watched some sad/funny movies -- Patch Adams and Phenomenon, but fell asleep before the end of both. One night I awoke in the cold light of a full moon in the skylight, and fell back to bed, tears on my cheeks.

Piece by piece, life's complications stripped away. Immediately, jewelry and makeup, and deodorant. Then, showers--now every other day, when I walked through the woods to get to my car, and then drove into the island to shop and check emails. When I couldn't find my comb, fingers sufficed. I stopped looking in the mirror. I'd go to sleep naked, and often stay that way long into the mornings. I ate tea and grilled cheese when the rain hit the windows, and the bay and sky disappeared in a fog. From the deck I watched the sun set in silence, as sweet-eyed harbor seals bobbed their heads by the weir. At night kerosene lamps and candles glowed, and as Sole looked on, one night I danced with a shadow in the firelight to "The Best of Dusty Springfield."

The two weeks passed, sometimes like sludge, but steadily, as if in the silence I could hear every beat of time. Fisherman trapped the herring every other day, and I'd watch their rhythmic movements through binoculars. An old man came by kayak to collected dulse, the seaweed strewn on the shore, and watching him, I spied the carcass of a minke whale beached by a far cliff. A few hikers passed along the ridge, but none stopped. Once, during a downpour, a middle-aged couple looked toward the cabin and I wondered if I would let them in, or if they thought it was unoccupied, but I didn't have to make the choice, as they kept going in the rain, and for just a few minutes I felt my vulnerability.

Why, I wondered, did I go on this solitary inner journey, farther than I had ever traveled, but within myself? To wash away pain? To prove my fortitude? As a child I found my own company precious, and now, on the rim of an island on the eastern edge of the continent, I felt perhaps that same magic. Here I had escaped from hypocrisy, greed, terrorists, and the awful loss of my love. So I pondered and cried and rested and remembered, and grieved.

Alone on the cliffs of Grand Manan Island overlooking the misty Bay of Fundy, I didn't feel any lonelier than I did anywhere else. I felt peaceful. I missed my husband, but now I felt his presence more clearly in my memories. On the last night in the cabin, snuggled under the duvet, drowsing to the tug of the tides, I patted Sole, and I knew I was ready to move on.
Read more: New Brunswick Canada, Leo Kotke, Mel Torme, Widowhood, The Eagles, Relationships, Unplug and Recharge, Death, Traveling Alone, The Inner Life, Solo Travel, Bay of Fundy, Solitude, Dusty Springfield, Being Alone, The Balanced Life, Living News