My family
We all grow up with a certain set of values. Our families of origin have a tremendous influence on our lives, and although some values may be later deemed unnecessary, or need to be adjusted, others are still viable and have great impact. I have lived my life in keeping with many of the values I was taught as a child. Most of them were passed down to my own children in one way or another.
- You have a duty to respect, love, and be present with your family. My father talked on the phone every evening with his mother after she was widowed. I'm not saying he found the conversations always stimulating, but he spoke to her every single night! He visited her every Sunday. Dad never missed a holiday at the cemetery. Does that sound ghoulish? When I grew up we took flowers every single holiday to the cemetery, and we took them for all family members buried there. My father's relatives were all buried close by, and it was a given that we all paid our respects. After my father died, I sent flowers to his grave for many years because I wanted to show him the same respect.
I never said they were stimulating conversations!
I grew up in Southern Ohio and there were many racial/ethnic values which did not sit well with me during the time I grew up and still don't. My Grandma warned me about dating "Papists" because the Pope was the devil. No Jews either since they "killed Jesus" (I know that is untrue, don't worry). Oh, and only a trashy white girl would date a black guy. I never heard that one from my parents, but I did hear that I should marry within the same race ... my own race (white). Hey, it was the 60s and 70s, you know? My mother grew up in Kentucky where there was segregation, and while she was not a racist, her parents were. I won't even tell you some of the things I heard them say! I was horrified by the prejudice from an early age, so it probably helped set me on my liberal path. My nuclear family was always pretty liberal, or non-political, and encouraged debate. There was nothing you couldn't ask, and with my endless curiosity, I asked a lot of questions.
I'd love to hear about other "family values". Any pearls of wisdom from your family? Anyone else's mother think that dogs attract lightning?
Earlier on Huff/Post50: