No one doubts that the rules have changed when it comes to dating, but over the years, a few things have managed to stay exactly the same. Being authentic versus trying to be someone you think you should be is always the safest bet.
Here are five reminders of what not to do in the presence of Mr. Maybe Right.
1. Taking too much air time on the first few dates explaining to him why you don't need a man in your life.
Sure, we don't need a man to be happy, but if you don't want one, why are you on the date in the first place? Many women do this to appear laid-back and not needy -- but it backfires. Going overboard telling him why you don't need a man doesn't give him a whole lot of room to imagine being in your life.
2. Out of nervousness, some women think they're responsible for keeping the conversation momentum going, then complain that men don't show up and engage with them.
Chattering on and on while monopolizing the conversation is exhausting for anyone. Let there be some dead air time between the two of you and let him be the one to jump in and fill it.
Communication research has shown that men form their thoughts and articulate them at a different pace than women do. Count to 10 in your head before speaking again and give your date a chance to jump in -- 99 percent of the time, a man will continue talking if you don't interrupt him.
3. Texting, calling, Facebooking and tweeting too often in hopes of being witty and staying on his mind.
Nature abhors a vacuum, so trust space. Create some for him to miss you and in the mean time, get on with your life. Needy isn't attractive.
4. Trying too hard. Women often forget to lean back and give the guy room to lean in.
Ever try to catch a bug in a swimming pool? The faster you move your hand forward trying to grab it, the more out of reach it floats. Pull back a little and let him float towards you. When we have healthy self-esteem, we lean back a little more, watch as things unfold and trust the process.
5. Too much of anything.
As my dad used to say, pick a part to feature. Show some clevage or show some leg, but a cut up to there and plunging down to there sort of dress is over the top. There's nothing wrong with dressing sexy, but leaving nothing left to the imagination, does just that -- there's nothing left for him to imagine.
Post originally appeared on Daily Transformations
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