The first deer crossed the road well ahead of the car while my 16-year-old son was driving. It was a clear, sunny day, and we were on the back-roads of Wisconsin. I told my son that deer typically come out at dusk, so we were lucky to see one. Not long after, two more deer not only crossed ahead of us, but stopped in the cornfield and calmly watched us pass.
Ah, the country life!
Then the next day, back in Chicago, I overheard someone say that a deer ran through a busy intersection not far from our apartment.
This overabundance of deer made me curious, so I reached for my Animal Speak book to see what deer energy signifies and if there was a message for me. I learned that the deer represents a gentle luring to new adventure. Apparently there are many stories about hunters and even kings following deer deep into the woods until they are lost. Legend has it that Sir Gawain, one of King Arthur's knights, followed a deer to many adventurous encounters.
Wait. Sir Gawain? This oddly-placed reference might be random, but I'm currently reading Kazuo Ishiguro's latest novel, The Buried Giant, and one of the characters is none other than Sir Gawain.
Intrigued, I read on. The deer totem is connected to a 5 year cycle, based on the time it takes for the antlers to grow to full size.
One week ago today marked the end of my 5-year post-divorce spousal support. I am officially independent, and I admit to feeling a bit lost. In many ways, I'm returning to the wilderness, beating a path back to my own buried interests and forgotten goals. I'm also in charge of leading teenagers through some thorny times, and at the same time, trying to tame my desire to be rescued by a Prince Charming or knight in shining armor. Even in my new favorite past time--taking dance lessons-- the instructors talk about how to anticipate patterns we'll be doing "in the wild," or outside of class.
It can all feel a little scary. So I'm grateful for the deer that crossed my path and reminded me to look to it as an example. Deer are one of the most successful families of mammals, able to adapt to every habitat. Deer carry a spirit of gentleness and renewed innocence, and the promise of new adventure.
My son and I arrived safely at our destination, joining our church group at a family camp. As we gathered for our closing circle, the pastor offered this prayer, "I recognize the divine presence behind all things, the loving force that supports me fully and answers every desire of my heart by saying Yes, yes, my dear beloved. I thought you'd never ask."
Amen.
Tammy Letherer is the author of one novel, Hello Loved Ones, and a memoir, Real Time Wreck: A Crash Course in Betrayal and Divorce, for which she is seeking agent representation. She is a writing coach who loves to help others find their voice, whether in a blog or in a book. She has also worked as an intuitive healer and uses her gifts of listening, insight, and vision to guide clients to write--and live--their best stories. Follow her on Facebook and LinkedIn.