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Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.

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The Top 3 Mistakes You Will Make On Your Honeymoon

Posted: 10/24/11 11:02 AM ET

Your wedding is over; the planning, shopping, spending, arranging, and the big day are now behind you. It's time to celebrate your new marriage, just the two of you. What can go wrong?

Actually, a lot can and probably will. Most honeymooners make three common assumptions; and all of them can turn out to be mistaken assumptions. Challenge these before you go and avoid being disappointed on what can be one of the happiest weeks of your life.

One: We Will Have Awesome Sex On Our Wedding Night. Actually, less than half of all couples have sex on their wedding night. You will probably both be tired after the big day, and you might fall asleep or prefer a hot bath or shower to wild wedding night lovemaking. The combination of drinking and exhaustion doesn't always make for a fantasy wedding night. Also, an unrealistic expectation that things should be sexually perfect can put a lot of pressure on you both.

Don't be disappointed if you fall asleep or if the sex is not as wonderful as you hoped. You have the rest of your lives to create a great sex life. Appreciate your first alone moment as a couple; snuggle in together and the sex will either happen or it will come later. Either way, the wedding night will always be special because it is the first night you spend as husband and wife.

Two: We Will Create A Perfect Relationship In Six Days And Seven Nights. Your honeymoon may be a little more stressful then you think. Travel to a different country, being in a new environment or eating strange food can all contribute to tension and may not be as relaxing as you imagined. Many couples are shocked to realize that they may argue or snap at each other during their honeymoon travels. They might even think, "Is there something wrong with our relationship?

Think of this trip as an emotional detox and let yourselves unwind slowly. Avoid the mistake of expecting that this trip will determine the rest of your lives together. Give it a few days before you really settle into a routine of true relaxation and easy companionship. If you don't stress about it, you will eventually hit your stride and get into the vacation groove together.

Three: We Will Come Back Rested And Ready To Start Our Lives Together. For many of you this will be true, by the time you are home from the honeymoon you will feel energized and ready to go. But for some couples, work, moving, cleaning up from wedding parties, and dealing with family and friends can mean that re-entry into real life may not feel very restful.

Give yourselves a few days to integrate back into the world and into your new life together. Upload your photos, blog about your trip, unwrap your wedding presents. Remind each other what you loved about your honeymoon, and reconnect with each other at the end of each day.

Remember, your honeymoon is a doorway to the rest of your lives. Try not to get too hung up on making it perfect. Keep it light and fun and be patient with each other and with yourselves. And send pictures.

Dr Tammy Nelson is a sex and relationship expert and the author of What's Eating You?, Getting the Sex You Want and the upcoming The New Monogamy due out in 2012. Connect with Tammy at drtammynelson.com