You feel the desire -- to write the book. To start the business. To launch the nonprofit organization. To build that beautiful, unique home for yourself and your family. Whatever it is -- you feel called to create something remarkable in the world.
Sometimes you wonder, is my dream silly or grandiose? Is it selfishly ambitious?
My colleague, coach Lianne Raymond, has something brilliant to say about this.
She differentiates between actualization and ambition.
Actualization or Ambition?
Lianne writes that characteristics of ambition include:
- the need to impress
- status-seeking
- pursuit of acclaim
Ambition is rooted in insecurity. What we do from a place of ambition tends to feel heavy and stressful, and leads to very short-lived satisfaction.
By contrast, characteristics of actualization include:
- authenticity
- vitality
- playfulness
- meaning
Actualization is an awkward word for the beautiful and somewhat mysterious essence in every human being and every living thing to grow into the fullest expression of itself. You see it in a flower that bends to the sun. You see it when a baby pushes herself up to take a tentative step, falls and does it all again, over and over until she is walking. I see it in my artist friend Sharon who says, "I have drawn and painted all my life. I can't not do it."
Lianne suggests that we ask ourselves, around any dream or goal, is this "originating from a place of actualization or ambition?"
I have been asking myself this all week:
- Is the desire to offer this course coming from ambition or actualization?
- Is the idea to partner with this person from from ambition or actualization?
- Is the desire to write for that publication coming from ambition or actualization?
In asking this question, I've learned that when I'm doing something out of ambition -- out of a need to impress or achieve -- there is a stressed-out, compulsive undertone to my work. I'm rarely content or joyful.
When I'm doing my work out of the desire to self-actualize, there's a sense of delight and playfulness in my work. My ideas are also more creatively fresh and therefore more likely to lead to worldly success.
That's the paradox. Most of the time, and particularly for entrepreneurs, creatives, innovators, and leaders, worldly success comes from self-actualization, not ambition, because it's in self-actualizaiton that our wildly unique contributions come through.
I don't think our ambitions will save the world, but I do think our collective self-actualization will. As we actualize, we bring forth the incredible love and light within us -- and that is just what we need to bring sanity, compassion, and wisdom into the world.
You are brilliant. You are a divine creation. When the channel is unblocked and you are up to the work of actualization, amazing contributions will naturally flow forth from you into the world.
Bring this into action in your daily life:
1. As you move through your life this week, regularly ask yourself, "Am I being motivated by ambition or actualization in this task? Am I doing this out of a need to win, impress, or get recognition (ambition) or am I doing this out of a desire to create, play, and grow into a fuller expression of myself (actualization)?"
2. When you notice you are being driven by ambition, pause and take a few deep breaths. Notice your breath. Feel your feet on the earth, and take in the sights and sounds around you. Remember about actualization. Shift your intention to actualization.
Have you had an experience of doing something in a spirit of actualization? Please share in the comments.
Tara Sophia Mohr is an expert on women's leadership and wellbeing. She is the creator of the global Playing Big women's leadership program. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN.com, Big Think, Ode Magazine and in numerous other publications. Click here to get her free guide, 10 Rules for Brilliant Women.
For more by Tara Sophia Mohr, click here.
For more on success and motivation, click here.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.