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Tara Stiles

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10 Ways To Overcome Your Fears

Posted: 05/23/09 10:00 AM ET

I'm sitting in my hotel room in LA after a long few days of exciting meetings, deal making, and other fun adventures, scanning my psychology for fears. It's sort of a strange thing to do if you think about it, but when put into practice it's useful and becomes as routine as getting ready for bed. A fun fact about fear is, once it is identified, it turns into something else and is hopefully on it's way to becoming irrelevant. If we ignore our fears they grow like a fungus and eventually can take over our lives. I'm at a fun stage of my life now. I've figured out what I want to do, am doing it and the doors are opening for me. That's great and all but if yoga has taught me anything, it's not to think, "Holy cow I'm balancing in a handstand." Once you have that thought, you fall over. Stay focused, work hard, and you'll stay on track. That's what yoga has taught me.

It's easy to sit around and fantasize about what we want. The hard part is going after it. Interestingly enough one of my fears (on the long list) might just have been fear of success. I don't think I was alone here either. It's easy to allow yourself failure. It's even easier to find friends to wallow with. We all have failures every day. It's not a bad thing, it's just missing the mark. But why not try for success. Really try. Then if you fail, so what? We keep trying.

Fears need constant attention and maintenance. Fear is like dust. You can sweep it away but it keeps coming back. Thankfully it's only dust and all you need is a broom. Scanning our own psychology from time to time is like dusting our fears. Sometimes we need a quick sweep. Sometimes we need to get out the soap and water and see what sort of filth is behind the fridge.

10 Ways to Overcome your Fears

1. Face your fears. Sit with yourself and figure out what your fears actually are. Write it down and face it. The sooner you deal with them, first by giving them some attention, the sooner they will start to fade.

2. Talk about your fears. Not to everyone you meet, you'll sound like a Looney Tune. Talk to your friends and family. They love you. You trust them. It's a safe place to let it out.

3. Stop complaining about everyone else. Very rarely is it someone else's fault that you don't have what you want. Complaining about other people may be fun in the moment, but it wastes time and takes away from your issues.

4. Have compassion with yourself. You're not a fear-busting machine. These things take time. Have compassion and patience. You'll get there.

5. Practice yoga. Do I even have to say it? We have access to a system that fixes everything. Use it!

6. Eat well. You can't get over your fears if you have bad habits, especially when it comes to food. Start eating healthy today and fuel your body for fear-busting.

7. Smile. Just like yoga balances our bodies, we have to balance out our seriousness with silliness. Smile, if only it is at yourself in the mirror. It's good for you.

8. Write down your plan. Keeping a notebook of ideas, lists and goals is great for overcoming fears. It's fun to cross off your accomplishments too.

9. Stay you. The best thing you have going for you is being yourself. The moment we try to be like someone else we are taking away from our own greatness. Just be you. That's so much better than good enough. That's great.

10. Keep dusting. When you overcome a fear or achieve a goal it's great to be thrilled and celebrate, but don't stop there. Keep going and you can go as far as you allow yourself. You are in charge of everything in your life. Everything you are. Everything you do and everything you will do. So might as well start now.

 
 
 

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