Help! I'm Addicted to FaceBook!

Pretty much everyone I know has a Facebook account. I use it for emailing, messaging, sharing pictures, and more. That sounds pretty reasonable, right? Well, Facebook has a way of creeping from something useful into a major contributor to carpal tunnel, burning eyes, procrastination, and mindless clicking.

Haven't seen people you went to high school with in ten years or more? With Facebook it's no problem. Since you can view everyone's friend list as soon as you connect with one person, the floodgates open, and you're back in your hometown, for better or worse.

Want to see what people are up to but have no interest in really talking to them? No problem with Facebook. If someone has an open profile you can click around on their page like you are their BFF, seeing all their pictures, friends' comments, and status updates. You can locate exactly where someone is and how they're feeling today in 3 minutes or less.

Got something to promote? It's no problem with Facebook. Set your favorite site as your status, create a link to your project and your friends will surely check it out. Got a new business? Create a Facebook group and your friends can join and keep in contact with all the updates of your company.

Ok, obviously I am a Facebook user. I enjoy seeing a picture of my friend when I send them a message. I am a fan of the status update. I even like notifications and am only mildly concerned when I am friend-requested by a total stranger. I enjoy clicking through pictures of my long lost friends' houses in the suburbs and seeing their kids covered in spaghetti. It's sort of exotic to a country girl transplant like me.

So here is the problem, well, my problem. And I am assuming I'm not alone on this one. I'm on Facebook all the time! I go to the site not even conscious that I am going to it. I turned on my computer this morning with the intention of opening Word first thing, and where did I find myself? You guessed it. Facebook. I am addicted! Admitting is the first step to recovery (bankers take note). Sign me up for Facebook rehab.

Pope Benedict XVI has warned us about getting in a pickle with Facebook. Now I'm not one to go around quoting any kind of Church, especially if you knew the extent of my Catholic grade school story, but this was sort of interesting. The Associated Press brought us his thoughts about how Facebook (and MySpace, a whole other topic mostly about kids and bands) can foster friendships and understanding, but warns that they also can isolate people and marginalize others. Benedict welcomes as a "gift" new technologies such as social networking sites, saying they respond to the "fundamental desire" of people to communicate. But he warns that "obsessive" virtual socializing can isolate people from real interaction and deepen the digital divide by excluding those already on the sidelines. He urges producers to ensure that the content respects human dignity, and of course the "goodness and intimacy of human sexuality."

What about burning eyes, carpal tunnel, hunched shoulders, stiff hips, and monkey mind? Those issues are more interesting to me as a health, yoga, and psychology geek.

I would friend-request the Pope. What would his status updates be? "Slipping into Prada loafers getting ready for mass."

So here I am, busted by the Pope! On one hand, he's got a point. Cyber-bullying is not a joke. The horrific suicide of 13-year-old Megan Meier from Missouri in October of 2006 was the direct result of her former friend's mom taunting her through MySpace. Being a teenager is hard enough. I can't even imagine what kids go through now. There are so many new ways to torture each other. I know a few teens in NY that have problems with teasing each on Facebook too. It's a mess.

I'm sure adults have had problems with taunting and other social blunders on Facebook too, but the majority of problems adults face is just plain over-use. Let me reference my "25 random things." If you're a Facebook user, you are well aware of the "25 random things" that have been going around in the last few months. Maybe you've written yours. Or, maybe you think you won't get pulled in. Good luck.

I should be writing at this moment. July 1st deadline will be here soon. FB is one big distraction really, but I do firmly believe in its usefulness. And its ability to deliver BlockBuster-esque horror, comedic, and dramatic episodes in the disconnected yet intimate way only the modern web experience can.

Correct me if I am alone on this one, but the reality of our lives displayed on Facebook splattered with debauchery is a big part of the fun!

I've come up with some warning signs here. This may be the start of developing a support group for Facebook addicts. The group will be listed on Facebook, where you can become a fan of the group, add pictures, look at pictures of other cute people who are in the group, and write on the wall.

10 warning signs that you may be addicted to Facebook

1. Facebook is your home page.

2. You update your status more than twice a day.

3. You have over 500 "friends" half of whom you've never actually met.

4. As soon as you step away from your computer you're on FB on your phone.

5. You are a FB stalker. You qualify as a FB stalker if you

a) click on someone's profile more than once a day even if they haven't messaged or tagged you in a photo.

b) have dragged and dropped more than 3 FB photos (not from your own profile)

c) actually go to a place mentioned on someone's page in hopes of seeing them in real life...creepy!

6. You change your profile picture more than a 12-year=old girl.

7. You have checked your FB page while reading this article.

8. You clean up your "wall" so it looks like you spend less time on FB.

9. You are a member of more than 10 groups and respond to every event invitation "attending" even if you have no intention of going.

10. You change your relationship status just to mess with people.

Comments

[frankie11]

Lol, I can certainly understand how one could get addicted to facebook. It's a well-known fact that people get computer addiction. If you visit these sites constantly, it becomes a habit that is difficult to shake. Computers are handy. I use them to email and look up information. Yes, I admit that I belong to several forums, but I don't spend lots of time in any of them. At one time though, I did belong to a particular forum. I spent many hours in this forum and got very involved with some of the people. Well unfortunately, on internet there are individuals who are phonies. They have only ill intent. Such was the case in this forum. Now, I'm not saying that everyone was bad. I did make some fabulous friends. This forum is run by an extremely crazy and destructive woman. She claimed that it was a "family" forum, but it wasn't. Many people sucked up to her, and she had no use for those who didn't. Those who did not suck up were hated and banned. Now that I have been out of there, thank goodness, I have to say that it was run like a cult. And cults are extremely destructive. Also, while computers allow us to email, it's so much nicer to be dealing with people in person the good old-fashioned way instead of over the internet, where things can often seem very impersonal.

[Zeroes]

Facebook is going to start charging and i'm going to buy their stock!

[Tara Stiles - Huffpost Blogger]

thanks for all the friend requests. glad to have all the new FB pals. Happy Friday.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=704006907&ref=profile

[Lamirabelle]

Facebook changed their policy back to what it was before. Didn't they ?

Mirabelle

http://www.leblogdelamirabelle.net

[ZellaBee]

If more people spent more time volunteering in their community instead of obsessing about FB,
Just think how much better our world could be.

[washwords]

oh blah. really? I don't come to fb or huffpost to be lectured. and uhh, read up, some of the addicts ARE the changers (hint: barack obama.) ;)

[dben]

First thing I did on FB was set my Privacy settings. I now spend a fair amount of FB time blocking people.

[guruglenn]

I have a facebook and twitter account but seldom log into them to see what is happening. Most of my time is spent creating the info products I want to get out to help change the world. I think whatever the medium, if one has an addictive personality they will get hooked by it.

Glenn Smith Author of Lotus Petal, A Parable to Help You to Overcome The Fear of Death

http://lotuspetalbook.com

[brooklyncitizen]

Twitter is ridiculous.

One is not LIVING one's life if busy twittering.

[Christos Ellis]

I loved this article! It made me think about my journey through Facebook addiction so much that I blogged about it on my companies blog. Check out my post and response

www.blogmsi.com

[MysticMirage]

i deactivated my account a few days ago i feel free.

[Zeroes]

I feel free for you too.

[MMinSeattle]

Funny post.....I've actually already started "Facebookers Anonymous"

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=60987196664

Join us!

[ini]

I just got rid of Facebook the other day. I don't see how it's any different from e-mail or picking up a phone/cellphone (especially with all of this texting technology).

[skippyB]

It's more self-absorbed and absorbing. I have a huge network of real loved ones (huge family and precious friends) and we stay in touch. I don't feel the need to count them or show them off.

[monty]

Perhaps this will cure your addiction to FaceBook:

http://consumerist.com/5150175/facebooks-new-terms-of-service-we-can-do-anything-we-want-with-your-content-forever

http://valleywag.gawker.com/5056365/facebook-hires-alberto-gonzaless-former

[Beegood]

It seems to me that calling Facebook "something useful" might be a sign you need help. - it's called justification.

Really, anything ethical that can be done on Facebook or My Space can be done by other means. The real reason these sites are popular (and addictive) is the thrill of voyeurism and exhibitionishm. I suppose it gives loney, isolated folks the feeling that they are part of something, but wouldn't it be healthier if they were part of something real and meaningful?

[julia23]

You obviously have no idea what facebook is all about. Most people are reconnecting to old friends (from high school and University) and keeping up with their lives. Many families are using it to keep in touch on a daily basis. There is also a lot of non-profit activity going on, money being raised, activism and awareness happening, etc.

I think you need to check your judgmental attitude at the door.

[Beegood]

I actually do know what facebook is all about, missy.

I still maintain that reconnecting and keeping in touch could be done by other means. Did you read the article? She goes on about her spying on and "stalking" people and many of these commenters have agreed they do the same.

Isn't there something better to do? Really, there are many worthy causes out there.

I think you need to check your justification at the door. Good luck with Big Brother.

[skippyB]

Why didn't you keep in touch with them in the first place? I did. Snail mail, class reunions, letters. I'm just not an exhibitionist.

[frankie11]

Julia23,

You're right. Many people use facebook for constructive purposes, and you have listed some of them. Facebook is also a very useful promotional tool for performing artists because it allows them to promote their talents, not only nationwide but worldwide. Unfortunately though, there will always be individuals who have ill intent on their minds. And they lurk on the internet. After all, if you have never met someone except on the internet, you really don't know who they really are and if they are being sincere. I have had experiences on internet with people who have turned out to be completely phoney. My advice is to be smart, but careful.

[Delilah108]

Oh, you think this is bad, wait until someone lures you into FriendStock on Facebook...and you start buying and selling people all over the world...

[cmarte]

It's big brother.