The Secret To Getting What You Want
One of the interesting things about yoga is you can see most everything about a person by the way they practice. When you become aware of this fun psychoanalytic fact, you can start learning all kinds of useful things about yourself. You have the ability to change your practice and your life.
We all know that the body and mind are connected. But when we really take the time to reflect on how much they are in sync, we start to understand that they're actually the same. Have you ever gotten a headache from stress and thought about how that happened? Maybe you got stuck in the middle of a frustrating situation. You had a thought that sparked a series of thoughts that developed into stress and tension. That tension had no place to release and gave you a headache. If we can give ourselves headaches with our thoughts what else can we do?
The power of being a positive person is an essential tool that everyone should develop. Good actors have the ability to trick their brains and nervous systems to live truthfully under imaginary circumstances. Imagination is their preparation and kick-start. Once they have that going their body is able to respond naturally. The fun part is that your body doesn't know you're imagining. Your nervous system isn't able to differentiate whether you are an actor in a scene fighting with your boyfriend, or having the time of your life. You systems all align together with your thoughts. In a way, we can use imagination to fake it 'til we make it. Our perception of feelings, including pain, pleasure, anxiety, complacency, is all a choice. We can choose to go along with what we feel if that's what we want, or choose to amend our thoughts and direct ourselves in a way that we want.
When you're in a challenging yoga class, or in the middle of a long run or any other physically demanding activity there is a moment when your brain will tell you your body is uncomfortable and you should quit. That's the moment of choice, if you notice it. Without noticing, you may just react by checking out immediately. When you actually notice those reactions, you get to choose what response is really best for you. If you learn to stay calmly with challenges (when your brain is so sure you must instantly quit) you will become stronger mentally and physically, in all kinds of situations. If you quit, well, you know the rest.
Self-reflection and awareness aren't easy. Everyone wants to be told what to do. It keeps the psychics in business. But even if someone told us the best diet, the keys to our success, and how to actually sustain happiness, it still wouldn't work for us. We have to figure it out for ourselves. That's the hard part. We can find good teachers but we have to do the work. No one is going to lose 30 pounds for you, or hand you the perfect job, house, and family. If they were everyone would have what they want. People would complain a lot less and stop blaming others for their misfortune. It takes a lot of hard work to stay on track and no one can guide us but ourselves.
Things get easier the more effort you put in. In class this morning I asked everyone to bind their arms in an extended side angle pose. The ones having trouble were in a much too shallow stance. It's hard to maintain a wide stance, bring your front thigh parallel to the ground and keep the back leg stable and lifted. It's much easier to stay in a shallow stance and keep comfortable. But you can't bind in a shallow stance. When you move deeper it gets harder. But then you can bind so eventually it becomes easier. Ease takes effort on and off the mat. You're in charge of your own work ethic.
So take a cafe break. That's my corny acronym of the day. When you go to the cafe you're on your way to lining up your intention and cruising toward your ultimate you. Here's what it stands for.
Compassion. Without compassion for yourself and others you can become a not-so-nice person, pile-driving toward your goals without awareness or perspective. Compassion allows you to weather challenges, help others to do the same, and get real enjoyment out of success.
Alignment. We need to put our bodies in the right alignment to get the most benefits from a pose. The same holds for finding the best approach in any situation. It takes effort, intuition, and the ability to control your mind.
Focus. Without focus we're a prisoner of our thoughts. We can get wrapped up in them and they take over our actions. Practice lets us handle our thoughts deliberately, giving us a chance to make the choices we want.
Effort. Hard work will give you rewards. Whether you are working to lose weight, finish deadlines on time, or be a kinder person, goals take work. No one can do it for you but you - but with compassion, alignment, and focus, you've got everything you need!
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What is a 'bound asana', please?
As a long time yogini, a yoga teacher and a therapeutic practitioner I must comment that sometimes going deeper into a pose is not a good thing - for some people, on some days bending the knee even just a little more could lead to a pulled muscle or even real damage to the knee. The word asana translates to mean "easeful seat" - a pose must be easeful and bring peace to the yogi - if the body can easefully go further, then yes, go further - but it is never a good idea to push past the limits of your own body just because your mind has the idea that if you do not push further you are being lazy. Becoming more "bendy" takes time and practice and some bodies are just not built to be able to go into a bound asana. Unfortunately, the Americanization of yoga has led to the no pain no gain work ethic being applied to an ancient Indian system that was originally mean to allow the body to be able to sit in meditation - just being able to sit in ease and peace is what we need to "achieve" - so i propose a "tea" break instead of the "cafe" (the jolt coffee being implied!). Tea: take time to relax into the pose, find your edge: effort but not pain, and actively enjoy your practice, where you are today and with the body you have right now! Peace, om shanti.
Not only do our thoughts impact our bodies, but they impact the world around us too. Studies have been done on the power of prayer and meditation that show very clearly how powerful they are -- and not in a new-agey sense of power, but in very real, measurable terms that positive thoughts can have physical results.
(The secret of getting what you want, is wanting what you have.)
Thanks Tara for your vedy vedy cool thoughts.
I like your acronym, I could use it with my own, PAAM (from The Eightfold Path(Right Efort)
P: Prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states,
A: Abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen,
A: Arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen,
M: Maintain and perfect wholesome states already arisen.
I have been practicing Yoga pretty hard and steady 5 years now.
I cannot deny the truth or even pretend as am actor would.
It is a transformation so powerful and yet leaving me so empty at times with a space in me waiting to be filled with what I am not sure yet. Love, service to others, God?
Would that be satisfying? Am I supposed to go beyond personal satisfaction in this great big vast world.
Thus the Journey is always just beginning and always a mystery.
Tara, you inspire me. Keep writing and we'll keep reading. Namaste.
Ugh!
Dear Tara you have made some good points. We all know that the mind and body are intimately connected, but I don’t agree that you can get what you want in life through force, controlling thoughts and ignoring the body's cues. This may be exhilarating during yoga (if you want to call that yoga), but as a practice for achieving our goals in life it’s too superficial and goes against nature's law of efficiency in action -- do less and accomplish more -- which requires powerful thinking that spontaneously calculates right action without contrivance.
How to energize and balance the mind? Choose a meditation that actually allows you to naturally, effortlessly *transcend* the surface level of thinking and experience the state of inner silence that is teeming with creativity, energy and bliss. This is the 4th state of consciousness, unlike waking, dreaming or sleep -- referred to by Patanjali as the true state of "yoga."
When the mind is infused with pure consciousness, thoughts spontaneously become powerful and lead to successful, efficient actions to fulfill desires and achieve one’s goals. As a full-time meditation teacher for 35 years, I strongly caution against trying to control the mind in an effort to have positive thinking and imaginary happiness. Such contrivance weakens the mind and creates artificiality and unnaturalness in behavior. It doesn’t work.
I agree. As a full time yoga teacher for the past seven years I have seen many in the yoga community, teachers and students, buy into this concept of being positive in all situations. In my opinion this is the same as denial and aversion. I think this is a misunderstanding of the teachings and has led to some unfortunate circumstances here in my town.
Co-sign/Co-sign. Thank you!
Mind over body has lead to countless chronic injuries and or physical disablities.
Please be mindful to add, that at some point...the brain is right, and the user's conscious is stupid to ignore the signal being sent by the body to the mind to cease whatever is being done before serious injury occurs.
Personally, the brief injection of euphoria from accomplishment is a distant memory...the permanent hobble to my gait however...is never far from my thoughts. So again I add...be mindful to listen to the body...its much much smarter than the nut behind the wheel.
So true. Yoga really benefits you on all levels. However I've noticed that meditation gives the same benefits, but of course it cannot strenghten your body.
All the best,
Simona Rich
www.personal-development-coach.net
"meditation gives the same benefits, but of course it cannot strenghten your body."
well, that may depend on what kind of meditation you do, how regularly, and perhaps also on what you mean by "strengthen."
there are many research studies showing that specific meditation techniques actually do improve health on many levels, including improvements in athletic performance.
the proven benefits of meditation actually far exceed proven health benefits of yoga. yoga is wonderful. i've been doing it for 37 years almost everyday of my life. but i've also been meditating every day and if i had to give one up, it definitely wouldn't be meditation.
i don't know if there's any research showing that meditation directly strengthens your muscles, but it definitely makes your body more integrated and improves physiological stability and efficiency. it also directly strengthens brain functioning and the immune system. some of the research is covered (on just one type of meditation, TM) at DoctorsOnTM.org.
for a broader overview on research on various kinds of meditation, you can do a Google Scholar search on 'meditation' or check out PubMed. there's far more research on meditation than there is on yoga, and the effects of authentic meditation practice appear to be much broader and more holistic. the mind is more influential than the body.
peace,
laughing crow out.
Good stuff.
I thought yoga and other related eastern practices encourage __nonjudgmental__observation_ most of all;... and not tripe like "be positive" "work through the pain" "don't give up" New Age-isms.
See Soren Gordhamer's Profile
Tara,
Nice article. I like the focus on the piece that it all comes back to ourselves. A few points, I think, however are somewhat tricky. One is the idea (as popular as it is) that happiness or spirituality is effort-based, that it is something we must "do." So we try to "achieve our goals" rather than to discover that within that is already perfect.
Goals are Ok, but it seems the process is more about finding something deeper that is more a "way of being" than a work ethic, and that does not believe that a future moment (when we achieve a goal) is somehow more worthy than this moment we are living right now. It's a delicate subject. I have nothing against goals, but without a spiritual connection, they can easily be a means of looking to the future, and in doing so miss the moment we are living right now and the perfection within -- which exists whether we decide to continue or to quit an effort. .
Yes, that sounds right. Recently, I saw the value of celebration of the moment and the harm of a goals driven life (that disregards the moment) in the midst of a tragedy. It suffices to say that one should find the beauty, the joy, the fulfillment, and the reward in every single now that comprises ones' life, lest they expire before the goal is obtained and thus a process of fear and stress designed to achieve a goal amounts to a life of fear and stress. I do not say this as a naive person unaware of the suffering that exists in society. Even when one is in darkness there is light. A quiet mind is one way to see the light. Immersion in the moment is one way to keep perspective when the moment presents a picture of despair. Thank you for your reflection. It served to make me smile and it served to further inspire my efforts in the moment.
Love, peace, and joy not as goal, but as realized state of being across the ocean that is a lifetime.
Thank you for NOT telling me that if I wanted a red convertible, all I had to do was visualize myself driving in a red convertible.
The Dalai Lama calls hogwash like The Secret, "spiritual materialism". Tara's post is honest.
"The duty of a student is to keep the teacher honest." - an old Buddhist moto.
You mean this doesn't work? DANG!
It's wanting what you've got
(You condensed the post well.)
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