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Tara Stiles

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Zen And The Art Of Social Networking

Posted: 03/14/09 12:00 PM ET

I've been giving my use (ahem, addiction) of Facebook, YouTube, and now Twitter quite a bit of thought lately. I've gone through emotional cycles of distancing and reuniting with my status updates, wall posts and perusing pictures and videos. My conflict is that I have found social networking to be aiding my work, therefore fueling my addiction. I recently Twittered "researching HFCS's rise to small screen stardom" and I heard back from an unusual Twitterer claiming to actually be HFCS -- the substance. (Seriously: read my last post.) Need to find anything out? Post it and one of your "friends" will tell you in minutes! Isn't that awesome?

Philosophically I pondered: is claiming usefulness of social networking a projecting assertion to perpetuate my addiction, or does it have any merit? Did our grandparents have this same struggle over the television? Is it useful or a waste of time? In my contemplation I decided to subject my addiction to my areas of expertise (health and yoga) to see if I could come up with a solution.

Here are a few starter questions for self-reflection. If you answer yes to more than one you should probably read on for the Zen part.

Do you ever feel like freaking out on someone on Facebook, or Twitter?

Have you ever wrote not-so-nice things about someone or someone's photo or video on any social network site?

Do you find yourself spilling your latest psychological drama in your status updates or on multiple friends' walls?

Are you a mood-based social networker and with little control over your typing impulses?

Has anyone had to physically tear you away from your iPhone or blackberry when they are trying to have a conversation with you?

Ok, now that we've all been diagnosed with social networking rage it's time to do something about it. Let's get acquainted/reacquainted with the Yamas and Niyamsas, often referred to as the 10 Commandments of Yoga. They are the ethical precepts described in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras as the first and second of the eight limbs of yoga. So basically we are supposed to pay attention to these before we do any downward dogging or social networking for that matter. Having proper ethics will rid us of stress, addiction, and madness, and also classy up your image.

Yamas: Precepts of Social Discipline (Do you think Patanjali knew FB was coming?)

Ahimsa: Non-violence. Not harming other people, oneself, or the environment. Not speaking that which, even though truthful, would injure others.

Social Network translation: When your BFF calls you a cotton headed ninny muggins on FB, resist the urge to smack back. Step away from your mobile device and take 5 deep breaths.

Satya: Truthfulness. Note that sometimes we may know our words are literally true, but do not convey what we know to be truthful. Satya means not intending to deceive others in our thoughts, as well as our words and actions.

Social Network translation: Stop thinking because you held restraint from calling your BFF out on their childish acts that you are "so much better than them now." Let it go.

Asteya: Non-stealing. Not taking that which is not given.

Social Network translation: Just because someone's status says they are out doesn't mean you can go to their house and raid the fridge. Text first!

Brahmacharya: Sexual responsibility. Regarding others as human beings rather than as male and female bodies. This includes not only sexual restraint, but also protecting our energy. For instance, by avoiding endless chattering with no clear purpose.

Social Network translation: Stay away from the teenagers unless you are one! Stop drooling over and posting skanky pictures of yourself and your friends. Rule of thumb: If you wouldn't show it to your Mom or Grandma don't post it or stalk it.

Aparigraha: Abstention from greed. Not coveting that which is not ours. Avoidance of unnecessary acquisition of objects not essential to maintaining life or spiritual study.

Social network translation: Taking pictures of you and all your fancy clothes, parties, and people won't make you happy. Well, it might for the moment but it won't last. Your friends like you because of who you are, not what you have. If they don't they aren't good friends anyway. Plus it makes you look like a cotton headed ninny muggins.

And now for the Niyamas: Precepts of Individual Discipline

Sauca: Cleanliness. Not only external cleanliness of the body, but attending to internal cleanliness such as avoiding the impurities of anger and egoism. Moderation in diet.

Social Networking Translation: If you spend the weekends in bed on FB, YouTube, and Twitter, take a shower. Don't get into fights behind your computer screen and put the Cheetos down.

Santosa: Contentment. Not spiritual complacency, but acceptance of the external situation we are allotted in this life.

Social Networking Translation: Don't be jealous of top Twitters and YouTube users. Be happy with you. You're awesome.

Tapas: Austerity. Deep commitment to our yoga practice.

Social Networking Translation: Not to be confused with tasty appetizers. Simply, practice yoga. Go to class, practice at home and meditate.

Svadhyaya: Self study. Spiritual self-education. Contemplation and application of the scriptures or sacred text of our chosen path.

Social Network Application: If you feel like you have a problem, you probably do. Think about it and work it out.

Isvara Pranidhana: Surrender of the self to God. Acknowledgement that there is a higher principle in the universe than one's own self. Modesty. Humility.

Social Network Application: How many pictures of you in your underwear do you need on FB? Do you have to Tweet every time you have done something you want to brag about? Think about shifting your social networking toward a purpose, other than serving and entertaining yourself (At least occasionally, we still have to have a little fun!)

Best name to call someone when angry: Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins. Repeat 5 times and your anger will turn into laughter.


 
 
 

Follow Tara Stiles on Twitter: www.twitter.com/tarastiles

I've been giving my use (ahem, addiction) of Facebook, YouTube, and now Twitter quite a bit of thought lately. I've gone through emotional cycles of distancing and reuniting with my status updates, wa...
I've been giving my use (ahem, addiction) of Facebook, YouTube, and now Twitter quite a bit of thought lately. I've gone through emotional cycles of distancing and reuniting with my status updates, wa...
 
 
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04:18 PM on 03/16/2009
I wrote an article "The 7 Deadly Sins of Social Media" which helps people avoid getting in too deep and into trouble with social media.

http://www.capturetheconversation.com/read/the-7-deadly-sins-of-social-media
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Eddy333
Fantastic claims require fantastic evidence
02:33 PM on 03/16/2009
This post makes me sad.

Turn off the computer and the phone and step outside.

It's OK if no one knows what you think...really, it is.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
REinsider
04:09 PM on 03/16/2009
Great post! Love it!! :)
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02:00 PM on 03/16/2009
wheres the zen?
07:49 PM on 03/16/2009
I know, right?...But the yogasutras did the trick for me.
09:53 AM on 03/16/2009
Great piece...I'd tweet it but it's more than 140 characters.

Mike Vardy
www.effingthedog.com
11:04 PM on 03/15/2009
I'll never use a social networking site and I encourage anyone who values their privacy and hopes to protect themselves from identity theft to avoid them at all costs.

If you want to share pictures, use Picasa. If you want to share your musings on any particular subject, use Blogger. If you want to chat, use Messenger.

But don't put all your eggs in one basket and make it easy for criminals to mess with you.
10:32 AM on 03/16/2009
I second that! Value your privacy, don't exploit it!

"But don't put all your eggs in one basket and make it easy for criminals to mess with you."

The word 'criminals' can be used loosely since corporate sponsors of certain social networking sites consider data mining technology a legitimate practice.
02:49 PM on 03/15/2009
i don't hate on social networking sites.
i don't see the benefit.
it's like living in a small town where you see people on the street everyday and need to keep it cool lest you have an uprising against your wicked ways.
you'll be essentially run out of town on a rail if you don't behave.
don't hate; develop rapport with people so you can get to a point of appreciating each other's sense of humor. i love when my friends tease me and make comments on my photos; as long as it doesn't come from a place of hate.
it's all good.
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02:46 PM on 03/15/2009
The country was in need of a “NEW AGE” religion not one that was invented thousands of years ago. The new president has the spiritual experience to teach us new ways to love our neighbor. There has been an absence of sharing and caring and it has to be learned with the help of government programs that will bring us together rather than divide us. It is a new age and a time for rejoicing.
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caril
01:55 PM on 03/15/2009
Ummmm... "Have you ever WROTE..." ???

should be "Have you ever written...." too much social networking and not enough grammar!
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Deadgnome
10:57 AM on 03/15/2009
I know Murdoch owns Myspace, does he own Twitter too?
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09:31 AM on 03/15/2009
Whats happening is that shiva is warming up, as to what dies and what lives you have to wait for God's next dream.
07:23 AM on 03/15/2009
Not a fan of social networking sites, but wise words for all seasons. However, let's stop all this crazy talk about not putting up underwear pictures. A picture of an actual non-airbrushed height weight proportionate woman in her underwear is simply a reminder of all that is good in the world.

The day that proper ethics cures addiction I'll post a picture of me in my underwear, and yes that's a promise and not a threat.
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05:48 AM on 03/15/2009
I appreciate the application of Yogic principles upon extreme networking platforms. But the application as you state it does seem essentially cosmetic.

All the Hindu concepts you've listed are centralized on the notion that we will gladly deal with our own suffering, and in doing so, we cannot pass it upon the next person. There's a subtle, yet important difference between this and avoidance of injury or abstinence of karmic inappropriate behavior.

Now, would facebook or twitter have its overwhelming traction on the cultural psyche if it didn't serve to distract people from the pain of isolation and exclusion, while perpetuating these blights. Facebook or twitter can create a community of serving one another in a clear, balanced manner, fostering spiritual discipline. But the dominant usage is not that, and I suggest if it was that, the thrilling addictive pull of these networks, as well as the idolization thereof, would not exist.
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Box500
Space can be recovered. Time, never.
02:12 PM on 03/16/2009
"Now, would facebook or twitter have its overwhelming traction on the cultural psyche if it didn't serve to distract people from the pain of isolation and exclusion, while perpetuating these blights."

You nailed it.
02:30 AM on 03/15/2009
"The Twittering Machine" was done by artist Paul Klee in 1922 !

An ex-addict* here (booze) ---> I got addicted to HuffPo and "LOST" message boards. I found myself worried all day that I'd posted something horrible, & eventually had to DE-TOX from the Forums & MB's !
Now, all my friends in SF/CA are doing FaceBook = drag queens & cowboys & the rest of them.
I don't get it --- the idea that my message to "Baby Jane" gets read by 100's of people? Not for me.

(* Rational Recovery = we're not addicts for life.)

Great article.
07:09 PM on 03/14/2009
Tara, I love the connections you make in this post. Patanjali for the 21st century.

Your parallels are entertaining AND true, but I do think it would be worthwhile to take them further. I guess that's why it's said that "There is no yoga without the yamas and the niyamas."

Addiction occurs when we lose control over our impulses and when it interferes with our daily life and relationships. We could probably go quite a bit further with both Patanjali and the social network behavior. For instance, ASTEYA, nonstealing, could mean not using others' posts as if you had composed it yourself OR not taking time or attention away from folks you are interacting with F2F or on the phone (that's a big one for me!).

As I reread your list, I laugh all over again. Thanks for your light touch.