In the year of our savior Reggio Emilia, there did a monster reign.
He walked amongst them unnoticed at times. Peaceful. Quiet. As with Play-Doh. And the Trains of Thomas. And Maresol, that fair teacher of Espanol who taketh no crap.
"Things are as they should be," they said, at the Time Known As Drop-Off. And then that time ended and the Time Known As Circle began. A time of great decibel increase and insurrection.
In mighty voices, they said, "LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN!" And, "NOT ON JOSEPH'S HEAD!" And, "LEAVE ELIZABETH ALONE. LEAVE ABBOTT ALONE. I DON'T KNOW WHY. NOW CIRCLE! CIRCLE! CIRCLE!"
But circle he did not and lo! Two horns did sprout! And that is how, after Tales of the Great Letter 'E,' the Time of Circle did end.
In quiet voices, they said, "Line-eth up, ye who would travel to the far reaches of the Kingdom." But Line-eth he did not, especially since he was not made Leader of the Line-eth. First, he ziggethed. Then he zagethed. And then he pushed him known as Zachary who yelled unto him, "I'm first and you're NOT!" And lo, his feet they did become cloven hooves!
Upon reaching the far reaches of the Kingdom, the Time Of Outdoor did begin. In which sand was thrown far and wide, but mainly into Katie's eyes, and tag, it was played until Carter yelled, "We don't like you!" and Gregory confirmed this and yelled, "YEAH!"
And lo, he grabbed his shovel and smacked it down, which brought a voice like thunder that said "Yellow light!" and then he stomped his cloven hooves and shrieked and the voice commanded, "Red light!" But he looked both the yellow light and the red light in the eye and laughed and into the Out Known As Time he was placed. And they tisked and clucked and remarked, "'Twas no shovel he had, but a pitchfork."
As the Time of Outdoor ended and the Time of Snack began, he no longer walked amongst them unnoticed, but like a sharp piece of Lego stuck in their feet.
After the Time of Potty, he washed his hands and his clothes and the floor and those around him. And then poopeth he did go. Not on the potty, but behind the potted plant. Because it was safe. And they sighed deeply and whispered the Prayer of the Pull-Up and wiped and wiped and wiped and called up the Gods of Sanitation and wiped some more.
During the Time of Clean Up, there did occur a kerfuffle between him and Jeffery and Marcus and Quincey that shook the rafters. Then, using a bardic lute, he sang of the kerfuffle to others over meade juice, but not before they put him in the Zone Known As Chill and told him to sloweth his motor.
"The Transitions, they will be the death of us," they did mutter, and said five Hail-Maria-Montessori's for good measure and then finally -- OH FINALLY -- it was The Time Known As Lunch, and then they did wave their magic organic carrot and sprinkled Impulse Control Crumbs, but the Impulses, they were NOT Controlled.
After much pillaging and plundering -- beware the ides of sunflower butter in your hair! -- and much shrieking by Jill and Mary Beth, a noble knight arrived at last to purge the kingdom of the devil.
In she strode, wielding the sword of 1-2-3 MAGIC and the awesome power of love, and she looked into the face of chaos and commanded, "Come."
And he went. Cloven hooves into Stride Rites. Horns receding.
And they sighed with relief, for they had survived another day with that plague of school systems in kingdoms everywhere.
That beast that goes by the name:
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.