07/30/2012 12:49 pm ET | Updated Sep 29, 2012

Every Topic That's Ever Been Written About Your 20s in Consolidated List Form

This is an aggregate of every topic that's ever been written about in your 20s in list/bullet form because that's really all our attention span can handle. Seriously. It's because none of the emotions or things we're going through are unique. Surprise! You're not special! You are not original and you are a cliché. Lovely.

1. Friends

• Trim the fat. Cut off those toxic friends or people you've drifted from or friends who don't seem to understand the definition of "friendship." (You know who I'm talking about!)

• Your friendships are changing. Now that you don't see everybody all the time like in college, you have to make an effort. Your friends from high school might seem less relevant because everybody is at different phases in their life.

• You will have new best friends. Your previous best friends will disappear or still be the best. They're all different types of friends and it's all okay if they don't all meld and hang out together.

2. Relationships/Significant Others

• You will date people who aren't good for you or who you shouldn't date. Don't do it! But you'll do it anyways.

• You love him! You hate him! You slept with him! You can't believe he didn't text back! And you bitch about it all with your girlfriends.

• Nobody knows what the heck is going on in the 20s with their personal life. It's okay.

• Every other person on Facebook seems to have already met his or her soul mate and is getting married and popping out a million babies -- or, at least, is in a serious, long-term relationship. It's okay if you're not, you have vodka?

3. Partying/Sex

• Is everybody else having a lot of sex except me? It seems like it, but apparently no one is, but apparently everyone is. No one really seems to know.

• You'll have crazy, shit-show nights filled with throwing up and being sloppy, but then most of the time you seem to be trying to be an "adult" and pull yourself together.

• Everybody complains that they hate the club/bar scene, but we all go out and do it anyway on the slim ray of shining bright hope that tonight will be awesome and you'll meet someone. Except you never do.

4. Jobs/Career

• Blame the economy! You have no job after graduation and are just doing internships! You're living at home. You're living off you parents. Or you completely don't feel like this because you have a good corporate job with benefits and a 401(k).

• Some people seem to have their life pulled completely together here (you know, your i-banking friends...), but no one really knows what's going on here either or what they want to do when they grow up.

5. Money (or Lack Thereof)

• See No.4. Apparently nobody has any money, but somehow everybody is living a fabulous life. (Look at all those Facebook albums of food -- aka you can afford eating out? How?!?) Yup, basically sums it up. Except we all have i-banking friends who have it. Damn them.

6. Family/Parents

• This is the time when everybody suddenly becomes friends with their parents. Everybody is grateful for everything their parents have done for them, as they should be.

• Everybody has complicated relationships with their parents. Somehow our parents all screwed us up one way or another. Oh, hello, therapy!

• Everybody goes home and misses their family and then after a week is crying and pulling out their hair and ready to go back to their real lives instead of the limbo that is what going home feels like.

7. Travel

• Um, do it?

8. Yourself

• Everybody hates themselves, but doesn't love anybody more than themselves. We all love to hate on ourselves, but our selfish actions show that we really love ourselves. It's the most twisted love/hate relationship out there.

• Nobody knows who they are or who the heck that mess is staring back at them from the mirror. Have you ever tried to fill out the "Talk About Yourself" section for an online dating profile? No? It's terrifying.

• Everybody is faking it till they're making it, even though they don't know what "making it" is.

• We're all just trying to find ourselves and "explore" as if we can type "Me" into the Google Maps destination box and somehow we will have a final endpoint destination and be like, "Ta-dah! Found me! Done with the journey of life! Yes!" You never really do. You keep changing and that's the secret to your 20s. Stop looking for yourself, for your significant other, for your perfect job, and just let life happen to you.