"What about the families?" That's all I can think about since the brutal Orlando massacre over the weekend that killed 49 innocent victims at a LGBT nightclub. Like everyone, I am shocked and saddened, and still trying to make sense of this horrific crime. What really haunts me, however, is those who were estranged from their murdered loved ones because they were part of the LGBT community. Can you imagine what is going through their minds? Can you imagine the gut-wrenching guilt for being righteous due to shunning a loved one because he or she was gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender? Can you imagine the "what ifs?" Can you imagine a dad falling to his knees crying to God, saying, "Why? Why couldn't I have loved my son? I am so sorry, God!!!"
The opportunity to mend the relationship is gone... forever.
This vision of a dad falling to his knees in guilt and angst has haunted me the last couple of days. As soon as I heard that the massacre was at a LGBT nightclub, I flashed back to when my girls were teenagers and remembered the gay kids who came to my home distraught due to being condemned and shunned by their families. My daughter Kolbi spent many lunch periods with these kids. She knew their pain because most of them "came out" to her. And because she was such a wonderful friend to many of the young LGBT community, I got to be their friend, too.
There were so, so many tears, hearts shut down and relationships broken because these kids were rejected by either a key family member or all of their loved ones. Each time one of these kids walked into our home with their hearts on their shoulders, mine broke a little more for them. All they wanted was to be loved. All they needed was for their families to reach out to them and say, "I love you for who you are. I value you and need you in my life. You matter to me." But that didn't tend to happen.
And that's why I'm thinking of the families who were left behind after this weekend's murders. Yes, all will grieve for the loss of a child, parent, cousin, co-worker or friend. But the pain that will haunt some the longest will be that they didn't embrace their loved ones due to being different.
Why? Why is there so much hate towards the LGBT community? We are at a time in our world when we need to bring love to every relationship. But, instead, we continue to see hate and discrimination aimed at our LGBT brothers and sisters.
Is it because of religion? Is it because to some it doesn't seem normal? Is it because people just don't "get it"?
Just because someone is different doesn't mean they deserve hate and discrimination. They deserve love.
It doesn't matter whether you agree or disagree with the LGBT community. They are humans. These are people who feel, who have hearts, who just want to be loved like you and I do. They matter and are of value.
Is it worth it to hold onto the hate? It is worth someone's righteousness to stay estranged from a loved one? Is the sadness worth it? Is the pain worth it?
I know this will be a stretch for some, but I truly believe these terrorists are mirroring to us the hate that is still in us. As we continue to judge others for being different, we are in our own way being terrorists. It is time for us to wake up and stop the hate!
I implore anyone reading this blog to please reach out to someone you've judged because they are different. Even if this person isn't gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender, it is time to bring love to all of your relationships.
If there is any good that can be taken from this horrific massacre is that maybe, just maybe, we will stop the hate and heal.
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