How can you be fearless when facing a serious diagnosis? Fearlessness and sickness don't really seem to go together. But they can.
When I use the term "fearlessness," I do not mean the absence of fear. I mean using fear to inform you, as opposed to allowing it to run you.
I am a two-time cancer survivor. When I was initially diagnosed, I was absolutely terrified. I was forced to figure out how to make informed decisions while also being sensitive to how my diagnosis would affect all of the people who loved me. I was worried about how they would experience my diagnosis. I knew that if I were terrified on a daily basis, I would not make the best choices. I also realized that I couldn't control how others experienced my situation. I had to have faith that they would handle it themselves. (They did.) All I could do was decide my next right action and request that those in my life treat me normally.
Lifestyle Choices I Found Helpful:
1. Creating Present-Moment Awareness
Mindfulness is one of the best antidotes for fear. This required me to learn how to meditate. I saw such a transformation in meditating and harnessing the power of my intention that meditation is now the cornerstone of my therapy practice. It doesn't have to be long and time-consuming and complicated. It can be as simple as pausing to take three deep breaths every three hours to stay grounded. This can help strengthen your problem-solving capability. Present-moment awareness can minimize fearfully projecting into the future, thinking of all the frightening paths your scenario might go down.
2. Staying Physically Fit
I took up boxing because I was really angry and wanted to hurt someone. Not only was there the obvious benefit of releasing anger by punching and kicking, but also there was something about being physically strong that greatly reduced how much fear impacted me.
3. Being in a Good Relationship
Stay connected. Rather than retreating from loved ones, stay close. Companionship and sharing is a wonderful way to stay grounded and present. If you are in a partnership, maintain an active sex life. Stay as normal as possible. My husband saw me as whole and as the same Terri as always, so I didn't feel damaged. Scared, yes; damaged, no. He didn't treat me differently. Other people did, and it made me feel terrible. When people treat you the same and look at you the same as when you were healthy, it keeps you on the path of well-being. Inside I was the same, and manifesting that cancer was temporary.
4. Speaking and Feeling Health into Being
As soon as my second cancer experience was behind me, I affirmed my perfect health. When someone asked me how I was, I would say, "I'm perfectly healthy." (I stopped saying "healthy as a hog," because A, I was gaining weight, and B, I realized that hogs in the U.S. are probably not all that healthy.) I would not speak about it any other way. I still do this and remain perfectly healthy 15 years later. I cannot say that this positive stance cured me, but it sure made me feel empowered. I believe that what we focus on gains strength, so I focused on being well.
While a diagnosis of any serious illness is fear-inducing, you are stronger than your fear mind. I would love to hear your thoughts and strategies that have worked for you, so please drop a comment.
I hope you have an amazing weekend and, as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love,
Terri
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Mary Pritchard: Face Your Fears Head-On
There is a great show about just this topic from an amazing man named Randy Pausch here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1CEhH5gnvg
I love this: “When I use the term "fearlessness," I do not mean the absence of fear. I mean using fear to inform you, as opposed to allowing it to run you.”
And as always, I love to pitch in my own supportive .02 cents.
Without fear, we wouldn’t be able to survive. But fear has gotten such a bad rap by lack of understanding and misuse, that it’s difficult to help people understand the point you make so eloquently – that fear can and will inform you, if you let it.
With the information that fear provides us, we can better defend and protect ourselves as need be. But if we’re afraid of fear, we miss out on its life-saving and life-affirming properties.
Biggest hugs,
Russell
So true and ironic all at the same time! Thanks for sharing your insight here with us
Yes boxing was a big relief and release of anger and nothing like staying fit to make a girl