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Terri Cole

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How Meditation Makes You Fearless

Posted: 09/17/2012 9:13 am

What can I say about meditating? Apparently plenty, since almost every blog I have written for The Huffington Post includes a mention of the benefits of meditation.

The positive effects of a dedicated practice helped me transform my relationship to fear and stress and so deeply impacted the quality of my life that meditation became one of the cornerstones of my psychotherapy practice -- and an integral part of my winning formula for helping clients overcome a host of issues to create lives they love.

Intrigued?

For me, becoming unconstricted (less stressed out), more joyful, and more successful seemed to float into my lap like a feather once I committed to a daily meditation practice. After many years of attempting to learn how to meditate, I finally learned about eight years ago from Davidji, the lead educator for the Chopra Center at the time. My teacher appeared when I was finally ready and all of my instincts about needing to incorporate stillness and silence into my daily life were validated. My practice consists of two 20-minute sessions daily: the first as soon as I wake up, and the other right after work.

When I talk to people about a meditation practice, I am usually met with: "I don't really know what meditation is," "I can't sit still," "I tried and could not do it right." Trust me when I say that I feel their confusion and frustration.

Let's start by clarifying that there are a large variety of meditations, from walking meditation to primordial sound meditation to guided meditation. Many people have the idea that meditation is only sitting cross-legged on a floor pillow, repeating "Om" a zillion times. It's not. (I mean, I guess it could be, but who would have the time? And your legs would fall asleep!) Also, meditation is not a religion; rather, it is a practice of becoming passively aware of your thoughts and feelings.

I like to relate a meditation practice to other healthy lifestyle choices. If your goal is to lose weight, prevent heart disease, control diabetes, or maintain wellness, you must become MINDFUL of what you eat, the chemicals you expose yourself to, getting enough sleep, making time for exercise and cooking healthy meals, etc.

Meditation actually builds your mindfulness muscle. And, unlike food choices, there is no right or wrong way to meditate. You just have to do it!

When clients claim they want to meditate but are too busy, I ask them, "If you were guaranteed $5 million in cash at the end of successfully meditating twice a day for 21 days, could you find the time?" No one has ever said, "Nope, I'll pass on the five mil. THAT'S how busy I am!"

My observation of human nature is that people will make time for what they want to do. Once you experience the benefits of a meditation practice, it just might become what you want to do. At least, that is what happened for me.

Personally, I was most intrigued by the psychological/emotional changes that meditation inspires, but there are also a myriad of physical benefits:


Aside from these amazing side effects, for me, meditation creates space, possibility, and relief in my mind, body, and life.

What Is Meditation?

Meditation is the simple, yet complicated, act of sitting in stillness and silence for a dedicated period of time each day. As your mind is cleared of thoughts, you are connecting to the pure potential of your life and recalibrating your mind, body, and spirit. It can be used to calm the mind or as the first step to plant the seed of an intention of a specific purpose or idea. Meditating can help you de-stress, get through difficult times, or be a vehicle to manifesting, along with promoting the health benefits listed above. It is important to remember that any amount of time spent in stillness and silence each day will positively impact the quality of your life and relationships and provide you with a more reflective and less reactive stance in life.

My Meditation Journey

It began 15 years ago, and as I stated earlier, I have had a dedicated practice for the past eight years. At first, it was hard: There were noises, interruptions, and endless thoughts. I must be doing it wrong was my mantra. Once I learned a technique that worked for me, the distractions and thoughts did not deter me. Everything does not have to be "perfect" for you to experience the benefits. You just have to do it and let everything that shows up become part of your meditation. Now, I meditate for 40 minutes every day, and I cannot imagine my life without this practice.

Tips for Setting the Meditation Mood

  • Pick a regular time you can commit to every day. Make a recurring "me time" appointment on your calendar.
  • Set the timer on your phone so you will not look at the clock. Start with five minutes and build up to 20.
  • Find a quiet place and get comfortable. Or as I like to say, "Just Get Your Butt on the Pillow."
  • Turn the lights down and light a candle.
  • Take a whiff of lavender or your favorite essential oil.
  • Spend the first few minutes asking yourself: "Who am I? What do I really want? What is my dharma? How can I help? How can I heal? How can I serve others and myself with my unique and special gifts and talents?"
  • Choose a mantra and repeat. In Sanskrit, the word "mantra" means "mind vehicle." A mantra is just a short phrase that has no distinct meaning, to help keep your mind free of thoughts. A popular universal mantra is "SO HUM." On the inhalation, say the word "SO" silently to yourself, and on the exhalation, say the word "HUM." When you find your mind wandering, come back to repeating your mantra.
  • Pop in a guided meditation if that suits you better. Some people find it easier when they first start meditating to use the guided meditations.

That's it!

Do you meditate? Do you want to but have been afraid to try? Maybe you tried but got frustrated that you weren't doing it right? Please share your experiences. I would love to hear from you, and your insight might help others. I'm big on speaking my truth and am always interested in hearing yours!

Love love love,

Terri

As a gift, enjoy this LOVE guided meditation. For more guided meditations from yours truly, check out my Meditation Transformation CD.

For more by Terri Cole, click here.

For more on becoming fearless, click here.

 

Follow Terri Cole on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@Terri_Cole

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What can I say about meditating? Apparently plenty, since almost every blog I have written for The Huffington Post includes a mention of the benefits of meditation. The positive effects of a dedicat...
What can I say about meditating? Apparently plenty, since almost every blog I have written for The Huffington Post includes a mention of the benefits of meditation. The positive effects of a dedicat...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
HellBank
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.
04:52 AM on 09/19/2012
I find peace and harmony with the universe sitting on the commode. Unless I recently ate Taco bell.
11:47 PM on 09/18/2012
I am sorry people, but the only time that I felt unstressed is due to a myriad of complications from medical problems over the past 2-1/2 years. When one is lying in a hospital or rehab facility or at home with IV and wound vac pumps or whatever else I have been through, including home nursing and PT and other home visits, I found a peacefulness and strength that Idon't ever recall having. Since I am still in recovery mode, the best thing for me is to read everything that I can get my hands on, then I can feel at peace with my life.
08:08 PM on 09/18/2012
I just finished an 8-week course on mindfulness meditation. With the class over with, the work will be to stick with the schedule. But I must admit that the early signs are at least encouraging. For me, it has not exactly been a stress-buster or even a relaxing agent. But I've noticed a strangely more calmed awareness with which I address problems and issues in my life. So I suppose it's to be expected that, if you feel your life to have a good load of neglected problems, meditation may actually bring these to the fore first, causing some unsettledness, before a calmer life results later.
04:57 PM on 09/18/2012
http://dhamma.org
free 10 day mental operation meditation food and room provided
02:25 PM on 09/18/2012
Love Love Love

... the best definition of the meditation experience, ever !
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12:15 PM on 09/18/2012
I need to start meditating after I smoke my medical marijuana instead of raiding the refrigerator.
11:13 AM on 09/19/2012
lol
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wikwox
So there I was, playing the piano....
11:59 AM on 09/18/2012
I have been bad of late and stopped meditating, I need to go back to it. I was taught Transendental Meditation by my Buddhist piano teacher of near thirty years. As noted you need to practice and find what works for you, it will take some time. I suggest yyou give it a try, especially if you are stressed out.
11:28 AM on 09/18/2012
Meditation is like acupuncture....and other placebo effects....it is in the eye of the beholder...Jesus said you can have whatever you can believe...sometimes...but mental illness is repeating the same stuff and expecting different results....per Einstein...I have meditated for 25 years and though my life has not changed at age 80 I just don't give a damn anymore...in the words of Rhet Butler in "Gone with the Wind"...movie...St. Paul said we are all the clay and God is the potter...making some for royal use and some for slop jars...get it??...all in God's will of course as there can be no other...generator, operator, destroyer....ergo Theofatalism...google for details..
12:37 PM on 09/20/2012
Hmm. I respectfully disagree. From your comment it seems you have not really meditated as you claim. You say your life has not changed. First of all life is a constant change for the better or for the worse and in the reverse, vacillating in between throughout your life. Meditation cannot be compared to placebo affect because it develops and sharpens self-awareness. Awareness is a quality that can be only generated from within and meditation is just a vehicle. The health and psychological benefits are therefore indirect results of meditation. If you have not seen any of the benefits, you are being delusional with your claimed 25 years of meditation practice. Your tone sounds bitter and resigned. Meditation brings lightness and a detached view of reality, which will reduce expectations.
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CoastalNC
Good thoughts create good things
11:16 AM on 09/18/2012
I started meditating about 8 years or more ago. I use "holosync" meditation...I put earphones on and listen to a cd that takes me into a deep level of meditation without having to stop thoughts in my head, can even go to sleep and the cd continues your meditation. It "heals" the brain and creates better connectivity. It is been phenomenal for me....I have been through divorces, being molested as a child by a grandfather, an overly critical mother that didn't like me, being raised in a fundamentalist religion, etc and somehow it has helped me to get over these things and calm me and help me with my sense of self and still continues to give me new insights into me. It has also helped me to release a lot of anger and forgive...all without struggle. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. I wish I had been able to have it available all my life but at least I've had it in the recent years.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Daliah Davis
What!
10:32 AM on 09/18/2012
I will be trying this, I recently stopped smoking, and I need something to calm my nerves, and help me through the challenging moments!
03:12 AM on 09/19/2012
The idea of trying makes many run away. So instead say I will pour my heart and soul into it.
10:15 AM on 09/18/2012
I started meditating back in high school. I used it mostly to cope with the death of my mother. I'm not sure why I ever stopped practicing it on a regular basis, as it was something I always felt I benefited from. I'm going to strive to make this a part of my daily routine again.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wikwox
So there I was, playing the piano....
12:00 PM on 09/18/2012
You and me both.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jwmeritt
09:57 AM on 09/18/2012
Opinion: It is alright to feel fear. It is what you do in ispite of fear that matters.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nicholas Carroll
01:41 PM on 09/18/2012
You're right. Fear is a natural warning system designed to get us to a place of safety. The problem is when people are afraid of everything (especially when others manipulate their fears) and in response, lash out at others in order to feel safe.
12:28 PM on 09/20/2012
Yes, it's all right to feel fear. The point of meditation is not to make fear go away, it is to transform your relationship with the fear into a healthier one through awareness.
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george martini
I wasn't always this introverted.
09:16 AM on 09/18/2012
Reboot your hard drive.
02:39 AM on 09/19/2012
....and have your software updated..
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
realitytrumpsbull
Two 'alves of coconut!
08:56 AM on 09/18/2012
Meditation's a good thing, but it's also the practice of basically putting yourself into a trance. And, sometimes life requires that we snap out of it, get out there, get active, let the sun shine in, and save the zen-stuff for Saturday, maybe. I think there's merit in meditation, but there's a point of diminishing returns also in terms of number of hours spent daily on the figurative lily pad.
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solitude1951
12:05 PM on 09/18/2012
Why not try what the article is laying out. You've already got your mind made up.
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02:09 PM on 09/18/2012
I would respectfully disagree that meditation is about putting yourself in a "trance." In my experience, meditation is about being simply, precisely, choicelessly awareness right now. It's not about drifting away or tuning out. It's about being fully present.

Nor are the benefits of meditation confined to the mat. Over time, the benefits accrued while sitting begin to manifest in activity. In fact, it's in activity that that changes in the brain become stabilized.
12:27 AM on 09/18/2012
what does meditation feel like when its happening?
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Waveskiboy
09:35 AM on 09/18/2012
It feels like nothing, because your mind and nervous system have gone to a state different than any you've experienced before. Upon coming out, you'll realize that you were gone, but at the time you'll feel nothing. Of course, like any other practice, it takes time to get to that state. But, like situs, if you do it, it WILL work......
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ncyim
09:37 AM on 09/18/2012
For many, including myself, it feels like timeless, effortless bliss. Hours can pass while you bathe your cells in the deep, loving relaxation & compassion. Great question - F#1