Ingredients for Surviving and Thriving

Where would we be without our girlfriends?

This is our story... we are three close friends who have shared much in the almost
twenty years since meeting. This story began when one friend reached across to
another, and then another, in need of a road map on this difficult journey called divorce.

Before husbands or children were even on our radar we all met at a mutual friend's
Sunday brunch and bonded immediately. After throwing that same friend (who is also
now divorced) a fabulous soiree on a limited budget we found in each other what we
saw in ourselves... an attention to detail, a passion for cooking, a love of celebrations,
laughter while working -- all amidst the backdrop of food and drink. We were definitely
meant to meet and kindred spirits from the onset.

Later on, like dominoes falling, we went through divorce. Little did we know the laughter
and tears shed in each other's company would be our salvation and therapy. When we
began this book we represented the beginning, middle and end of the divorce process.
Today, we are all further along, now a lot wiser for the wear. We believe our writings are
as much about our unique and enduring friendship as they are about divorce.

These stories are not our individual stories so much as the stories of us... all of us.
Some people get divorced at the first sign of a bad patch. Others get divorced even
before they file the papers. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We join clubs
in our many chapters of life, and marriage is definitely one of them. When you marry,
you are no longer defined as one, but as two. Your home, work and travel are all
experienced differently -- you may even get included in more dinner parties. You are
perceived, as you are, his wife, his spouse, his better half, etc.

The next club, of course, is motherhood (not for all but for many). And that club
definitely changes your friendships, your pastimes, and your home environment -- not to
mention your love life.

Then, finally, you may find yourself, ready or not, in the club you hoped you would
never have to join, the divorce club. Just like you only know marriage by experiencing
it, and motherhood by raising a child, you can only know the pain of divorce when the
unfortunate breakdown of your marriage makes you part of this club.

What matters now, what can set us apart -- you apart -- is how to move forward. Past the
difficulties and the fears of the unknown to capture the life we -- you -- deserve to have.
We must believe, you must believe that anything is possible as your destiny is still being
defined. Hold onto hope. Hold onto your friends -- we did.

As with all divorces, there is an anatomy of sorts. How often have we sat at the kitchen
counter -- as if on a psychologist's couch -- and poured out our raw emotions, fears, secrets
and tears while a sister, a mother or friend chopped, stirred, fried, baked and cooked
out our truths as they unfolded? The process of grieving and letting go of your
marriage, and for us the preparing and sharing of food, was and continues to be a big
part of our survival. We hope reading our blog will be for you, a bit like sitting down
with a good friend.

One day we might share a true-to-life story, accompanied by an easy-to-follow recipe, a
quote, a mantra, notes to self, tips on everything from dating again in mid-life to how to
handle the ex... Between the three of us we are a team of PhDs on the subject who are
happy to share any advice or wisdom that can help you along your journey.

So, whether you need a good laugh to accompany your glass of Merlot, or if you're
diving into the tiramisu in tears ... God knows, we can relate.

We hope that our writings inspire you to dust yourself off, hold your head high, and
realize this could be the recipe for the best chapter of your life.

Marina, Karla and Rhonda

--Authors of The Divorced Girls Cookbook -- coming soon