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Toys That Destroy: Playthings Guaranteed To Screw Kids Up For Life (PHOTOS)

09/25/2010 10:40 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

I was a kid once. Before I spent my Saturday mornings sleeping off a hangover, I used to play polygamist compound in my Ghostbusters house (I have an older brother) and there flourished six Barbies, one Ken, and a very confused Kelly doll. I also had a Little Mermaid Doll who inaccurately had feet and dated Scorpio from GI Joe. I was a happy child.

However, having wandered into the Target toy aisle earlier, I realized that the lady girls of today have (a) way more toy options than I had and (b) immensely more f***ed up toy options than I had. From Edward Cullen Glitter Xtravangza to Polly Pockets you can't choke on and die from, I've compiled a list of toys to keep any precious little baby girl away from.

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