Confused Bono Facing Barrage of Questions About His Sex Change
U2's lead singer spent the better part of the past week denying claims that he's now a woman after a series of newspapers ran headlines such as "Bono Has Sex Change." The news was in reference to Chastity Bono, manly daughter of Cher, not the frontman for the legendary rock outfit.
The former recently underwent gender reassignment surgery, leaving Bono with a lot of explaining to do. And not just from the gossip-driven media.
"I had no idea what was going on when my wife called in tears," recalled Bono, who seemed not only annoyed at the false claims, but at the fact that explaining himself was distracting from his usual activities of saving the world and being over-dramatic. "She kept on repeating 'It all makes sense', but I thought she'd just finally understood why we made our Pop album. Turns out she thought I was a woman."
U2's bandmates also grilled the lead singer after hearing the news.
"I just assumed the news meant that he had a sex change years ago," said U2 guitarist Edge. "Like they just found records that revealed that he used to be a man."
Learning that his lifelong musical partners believed him to be a woman for over 30 years only added to Bono's confusion.
While Bono was distraught by having to defend his existence as a man, he did admit that he would consider a sex change for the "right reasons."
"If one child in Africa was happier because I became a woman, I would go through with it," said Bono. "It doesn't matter if I'm a man or a woman. The only reason I exist on this planet is to save it. And wear women's sunglasses."
-Dan Abramson, thehollywoodham.com
Chastity Bono - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Cher's daughter Chastity Bono is changing gender from female to male
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U2 are playing a show in Glasgow, when Bono asks everyone to stand quietly for a moment. Bono says he has something to tell the audience. "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies," says the singer to the hypnotized audience. And a voice comes out from the front, "Well, stop doin' it, then, ya fookin' evil bastard!"
LOL...
Funny, except for the second sentence. "Manly daughter of Cher" comes across as a little transphobic.
Bono is a sex change.
This is really really funny. I laughed. BUT: I just want to point out that, as a woman, the whole idea that anything womanly is an insult is becoming tiresome. Let me repeat: this is funny. Let me also repeat: why is it that the worst thing someone can be is feminine or womanly? Just a question, don't get your panties in a bunch.
How can females be womanly when all the men want to be women. Trust me, part of the reason Palin is so popular is because she is a pretty feminine woman. Heterosexual men love feminine women. Attractive feminine women..hellwe even like ugly feminine women. Don't ever stop being a feminine woman!!
He'll always be #2.
LOL! I remember back in the 90s when I saw the headline “Singer Bono killed in skiing accident” and my heart sank thinking that the leader of my favorite band was dead. Of course, it turned out to be Sonny. The people who write these headlines need to get a clue.
Oh how funny. I love U2. My favorite nuvelle vague music. He's the real deal. Hunky and hot and steamy. Not sticky.
He's now also a woman.
hilarious!
whoever wrote this deserves an award!
That was hilarious!
ha ha ha
Oh this made laugh..
I thought that was funny.
Satire and spoof at its best.
Somewhere, someone from the Hollyweird Ham is singing "Achtung: I got You, Babe".
That was good; made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the bit of humor for my day!
Ha!
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