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Why I'm Running for Mayor of NYC

Posted: 07/22/09 12:05 PM ET

Lots of people are surprised to hear I'm running for mayor of New York City, but they wouldn't be if they knew me better. I have a political science degree, and I grew up around politics. My father's been a city councilman for over twenty years now, and was also a volunteer fireman. Most importantly though, who knows the pulse of the city better than me? I've been standing outside in Times Square for over a decade, listening to the minds of all New Yorkers -- from cab drivers and politicians to the thousands of small businessmen just like me. I know what's on their mind.

And think about Schwarzenegger and Reagan. Schwarzenegger used to just blow stuff up all day on movie sets, and Reagan used to act with a bunch of chimps. He still became a great president, but he probably would've been even better if he spent as much time out with the people as I do.

I've basically created a global brand with just some tighty-whities and hard work, so imagine what I can do when I'm backed by all the wonderful people and resources of the greatest city on earth. My campaign is based on one simple truth -- no one's done more with less than me -- and that's the kind of thinking I'll be delivering as mayor. And I'm not going to be the kind of politician who's shuttled around in a limo all day -- I'm going to keep doing my thing, engaging with folks from all walks of life and really listening to them.

One of my main focuses is going to be small businesses, because that's my background. So much real estate is just sitting empty these days, and it hurts me to see people losing their businesses and their lifelong dreams. Here's just one of my plans to help rebuild this city and get it back on track:

THE NAKED STIMULUS PLAN:

  • No more tinkle down economics. Things don't grow from the top down, but from the bottom up. And just helping the rich leaves most people tinkled on. So no more tax breaks just because you're wealthy. I'm going to tie tax incentives to greening initiatives and other progressive plans.
  • A thousand interest free loans of 10,000 for small businesses and new businesses. Trust me, some dude just won a Nobel Peace prize for micro-loans -- they work.
  • A year-long city tax holiday for businesses with 20 employees or less. Nothing fuels growth like this (except my Naked Whey Protein Powder, available at www.nakedcowboy.com).
  • Corporate Entity Formation Rebates. All that money you spend to form a LLC or a corporation will come back to you as a tax rebate.


Happy about these plans? Me too. Just be sure to create lots of jobs and pay your taxes once your business gets off the ground. Deal?

No one's more serious than me about making this city as great as it can be, so don't forget to write me in this November 3rd. I'm even going to see if I can relax the dress code at the voting booths. And stay tuned to www.nakedcowboyformayor.com for more info, videos and events.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dacktyl
I created RepublicanDirtyTricks.com
03:43 PM on 07/26/2009
We MUST push back against this "Reagan was a great president" meme wherever it rears it's ugly head. It is because of Reagan and his policies that this country is DONE.

His union-busting, his tax breaks for the rich at the expense of everyone else, his playing with interest rates and credit to give the ILLUSION of prosperity, his ripping the solar panels off the White House.... everything he did was to cause the booming middle class to sit down, shut their dumb Serf mouths and and get to work for their gracious Lords and go die in their oil wars when told.

Our decline can be traced directly to Reagan.

The Cons set out to destroy the middle class and they were successful. Reagan was one of the worst things to happen to this country.
02:08 PM on 07/26/2009
You've got my vote.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
WasteNJ
All Out Of Bubble Gum.
01:59 PM on 07/23/2009
Go for it. I support anybody who really knows what the people are thinking and need.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
NY Grandma
Latte sipping, Volvo driving, NYTimes reading Dem
09:11 AM on 07/23/2009
As a former New Yorker living in Atlanta, I miss the Naked Cowboy. I used to see him every day even in the dead of winter with no clothes on. I thought he was crazy. Now, I know he is. It must be all those exhaust fumes he breathes in. This is New York theater at its best, something they don't have in Atlanta.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EminemsRevenge
08:46 AM on 07/23/2009
Looks like it's a choice between you and Bill Thompson since Mayor-for-Life Bloomberg NOW has to beat the complicity in negligent homicide rap...New Yawkers done forgot HE helped Kill two firefighters?
http://www.villagevoice.com/2009-07-22/news/bloomberg-s-biggest-scandal-the-deutsche-bank-fire-should-be-his-downfall-why-isn-t-it/

Since i'm afraid that Thomson will be Dinkins Jr, looks like YOU got MY vote!
03:00 AM on 07/23/2009
See, once he said Reagan was a "great president", I pretty much tuned out. Could be saying that for appeasement, but still.
01:26 AM on 07/23/2009
Mmmm! Naked Cowboy for Mayor! That's hot. If I were a New Yorker, I'd vote for him and go to all of his appearances. He's sexy!

Naked Cowboy, if I contribute to your campaign, can I stuff my cash directly into the waistband of your tighty-whiteys?
10:54 PM on 07/22/2009
The obvious nonsense fun aspect of all this aside, Burck supported McCain for pres because he's "older and wiser".
10:37 PM on 07/22/2009
But she is a fighter. She is a fighter for women, for Black, Latino and all oppressed nationalities, for LGBT people—a fighter for all working people.

She represents a different kind of politics. She stands for putting the city’s vast wealth at the service of society, and not to enrich the ruling class. She stands for taking the power out of the hands of the billionaires that run the city and cleaning the streets of the killer cops that prey on our communities.

“All my life, I was taught that I had to accept the inequalities and injustices my community faced,” she says. “One of the goals of my campaign is to reach thousands of others like me across the city to build the movement we need for the city and the society that we deserve.”
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09:22 PM on 07/22/2009
"Greatest city on earth," you say? May I suggest you look up the word 'hubris?' Or maybe "comeuppance," as in another 9/11? Howzabout being a good neighbor instead of King of the Hill?

hubris [hew‐bris] or hybris, the Greek word for ‘insolence’ or ‘affront’, applied to the arrogance or pride of the protagonist in a tragedy in which he or she defies moral laws or the prohibitions of the gods. The protagonist's transgression or hamartia leads eventually to his or her downfall, which may be understood as divine retribution or nemesis. Hubris is commonly translated as ‘overweening (i.e. excessively presumptuous) pride’. In proverbial terms, hubris is thus the pride that comes before a fall.

Adjective: hubristic.

Philosophy Dictionary: hubris

The general connotation of the pride that goes before a fall is a later, and partially Christian reinterpretation of the classical concept. In Aristotle (Rhetoric 1378b 23-30) hubris is gratuitous insolence: the deliberate infliction of shame and dishonour on someone else, not by way of revenge, but in the mistaken belief that one thereby shows onself superior. Tragedy is not therefore the punishment of hubris, since tragedy concerns unjust suffering, whereas hubris deprives the agent of sympathy from the outset.

Hubris, though not specifically defined, was a legal term and was considered a crime in classical Athens. It was also considered the greatest sin of the ancient Greek world....

http://www.ask.com/bar?q=hubris+definition&page=1&qsrc=178&ab=4&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.answers.com%2Ftopic%2Fhubris
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tc2598
09:27 PM on 07/22/2009
Okay, thanks there Buzz Killington.

Now who likes a good story about a bridge?
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09:41 PM on 07/22/2009
I'm sorry, is reality harshing your buzz? Or is failing to learn from recent history for the sake of a slogan your idea of a good time?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
WasteNJ
All Out Of Bubble Gum.
02:01 PM on 07/23/2009
NYC is the greatest city on earth. Thus endeth the lesson. Have you been? Doesn't sound like it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tc2598
09:21 PM on 07/22/2009
Book deal I meant. Not bood deal. bood deal doesn't make any sense.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tc2598
09:21 PM on 07/22/2009
Web marketing. Bood deal. Nicely done, sir.
06:43 PM on 07/22/2009
This from a guy who voted for and predicted a win by McCain & Palin.
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06:28 PM on 07/22/2009
When you look at his plan.... its not a bad job growth plan, in fact it is pretty good.
04:00 AM on 07/23/2009
libertarian much, but you're right, not bad. The "Reagan was a great president" bit kind of threw me for a minute though, didn't he INVENT trickle down economics?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
way2muchsense
A hobbit who lives in a hollow tree.
02:18 PM on 07/23/2009
Naah, that was his economic team. Ronald Reagan never had an original thought of his own, nor an actual degree in economics.
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kathy001
Don't bogart that duck
05:49 PM on 07/22/2009
Frankly, you're pretty short in the credibility column already, simply because of your occupation. So, why are you adding to that shortfall by doing the write-in thing? I like your ideas but my advice would be to put together a proper campaign and get yourself on the ballot, even if you have to wait until the next election.

And by the way, Reagan was not a great President. If you're going to blow smoke, at least pick a subject that doesn't automatically piss off the majority of your thinking audience.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
WasteNJ
All Out Of Bubble Gum.
02:04 PM on 07/23/2009
Without picking the guy apart, it's obvious that he admires some republicans, but that doesn't mean his ideas aren't good or won't work. First and foremost he's in the streets of NY everyday, and his perspective is that of the little guy. Can't people disagree about Reagan without getting pissed off?