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The Rev. Dr. Jacqueline J. Lewis

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A Change Has Come: A Clergy's Response to the New York Vote for Gay Marriage

Posted: 06/25/11 10:49 AM ET

I am old enough to remember drinking at the colored only water fountain in Ruleville, Mississippi, my mom's hometown when I was five years old in 1964. My mom grew up in Sunflower county, a place that gave birth to activist Fannie Lou Hamer, and a little boy named Emmett Till who was lynched at 14 for looking at a white woman too long.

I am not old enough to remember but I hold in my body the memories of my parents, who had to walk past the town high school to go to the colored high school on the other side of town. They could not be served food at the soda fountain, could not sit on the main floor at the movie theater. To vote was to take their lives in their own hands. My parents came of age in a place rich with the smells of magnolias, sweltering with the heat of the Mississippi Sun, and dripping with racism like the sweat from bodies picking cotton.

Now my parents have lived long enough to see an African American president elected.

My parents and I can testify that change does come. It often comes slowly, with the dedication of individuals, faith communities, and coalitions, but justice does come.

Four students in North Carolina made a small ripple when they sat at a Woolworth lunch counter, peaceably waiting to be served. The next day they took friends; soon there were 27. The sit-ins moved like waves, from state to state, dismantling segregation in the Deep South. Justice moved from state to state, crossing borders like the Freedom Riders on buses, causing a chain reaction all the way to Washington D.C., when President Johnson signed the Civil Rights Bill in 1967.

As an African American clergywoman, I also see gay rights as a civil rights issue. This summer, I will marry my congregants, Alex and Jeremy, just as I have other gay couples in the past. I look forward to the date our new law goes into effect, when these weddings will not only be seen in the eyes of God and the couples' family but will also be legal in our state.

There has been a lot of attention given to religious leaders who want to block the rights of gays and lesbians to marry. But there is not just one Christian voice. I serve a multiracial, multicultural church in New York City's East Village. At Middle Collegiate Church, we believe God made all of us perfectly. God made gay people gay. And we believe that God smiles on love. Jesus himself summarized his teachings this way: love God with all you have and love your neighbor as yourself. Christians have been on the side of ending slavery, of ensuring women and African Americans the right to vote, of working for economic justice, and advocating for the welfare of children.

We've been singing songs from the civil rights movement this June in New York -- "We Shall Overcome," "This Little Light of Mine" -- from our sanctuary to City Hall. We have been singing, "I'm gonna sit at the welcome table, sit at the welcome table one of these days." And we have stood silently outside the Senate Chambers in Albany so our legislators are reminded that people of faith support this issue.

The march for marriage equality continues on in most of our states. To find out how you can become involved in your state, visit Freedom to Marry's state directory of advocacy groups: here. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice." As each of us joins this movement, it is my hope that one of these days, all of God's people, no matter whom they love will be welcome at the table of grace and love. I could not have imagined when I was a little girl all the change my parents and I would see in my lifetime. I believe Sam Cooke's ballad has become a prophecy; it has been a long time coming, but a change is going to come.

 
I am old enough to remember drinking at the colored only water fountain in Ruleville, Mississippi, my mom's hometown when I was five years old in 1964. My mom grew up in Sunflower county, a place that...
I am old enough to remember drinking at the colored only water fountain in Ruleville, Mississippi, my mom's hometown when I was five years old in 1964. My mom grew up in Sunflower county, a place that...
 
 
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TexasTreader
My other dog is a gator
02:35 AM on 08/19/2011
Just because someone wears a backwards collar doesn't make them right. One of Paul's strongest points in his epistles was that there are deceivers among us.
10:49 AM on 06/28/2011
Amen.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
decaturdog
Gentleman living in Atlanta
09:13 AM on 06/28/2011
Good for you! I was born in 1950 and we moved to Atlanta in 1965, just after my 9th grade year, from Chicago. At a nearby shopping center, the laundromat had a sign saying "White Only" and because I knew a thing or two about washing, I told my mom there must be automatic bleach dispensers in the washing machines. She explained and I was so surprised - but then I realized in Atlanta there were all-black high schools. God has led us to know that all of us are His children and we all deserve dignity and equal rights in life. Thank you for you journey and story.
07:32 AM on 06/28/2011
When my "older men's group," showed the movie "After Stonewall," one of the group noted that watching it made him angry. When pressed for a reason, he replied, "I'm an OLD MAN and we still haven't accomplished the things I set out to do when I was a kid."

It's nice to hear something that isn't HATEFUL from a clergyperson.
NOW STEP UP THE PROGRESS.
I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT!
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quixmar
You may not agree with me, but you know I'm right.
08:44 AM on 06/28/2011
I don't understand your implication about hatred. Opposition to the issue (regardless of the issue) is NOT Christian "HATRED." It is not the Christian or Jew who despises homosexuality, it is God Himself, and He alone will judge all of us. Clergy changing what God has said does nothing more than make that clergyman someone who is misleading those who follow him. God didn't exactly give us His word in the Bible and say "Here's a list of suggestions. Feel free to do what you want and disregard things you disagree with." Most of us don't have a problem with homosexuals or what they do. Remember that this all started with "We just want to be accepted" and has been racheted up ever since. To what end? When hetrosexuals will be outlawed? The problem we have is when people don't care about your opinion, and shout you down or call you a bigot when it is obviously not true. I don't wave my weenie in anybodys' face, and I don't expect or care for anyone who waves theirs in mine. Progress, huh? Progress is code for "Socialist" and we see how well homosexuals are tolerated in "Socialist" lands.
10:27 AM on 06/28/2011
"...who despises homosexual ity, it is God Himself,..."

And you're telling me that their followers do not follow suit ?? lol

And BTW, that is some h8ful god you follow.
charlesrfd2003
Proud American who believes in the Bill of Rights
09:26 PM on 08/18/2011
God created some people as homosexuals and God does not create junk.

By the way the early Christians shared everything in common. Did that make them socialistic? I do not see what socialism has to do with gay rights. Socialism has to with how a society organizes production and services. Gay rights is about individuals that may seem different than most others.

Literal interpretation of the translated Bible is the root of the problem. Some clergy do not have foundation in the languages of the Bible. Further all interpretations are not the same. Read the Sermon on the Mount and the Good Samaritan and then ask what would Christ expect us to do.
05:53 AM on 06/28/2011
Thank you, Rev. Dr. Lewis, for demonstrating again that many, many Christians recognize that Christianity should be about love rather than hate. Although people practicing a hateful Christianity tend to speak loudly and generate more media attention, they represent our faith poorly.
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MrUniteUs
04:28 AM on 06/28/2011
I don't see the connection between the murder of Emmet Till and the gay marriage debate.
Take a look. Do you see a connection?

http://hennessyhistory.wikispaces.com/The+Emmett+Till+Case-1
04:17 AM on 06/28/2011
I would disagree with the idea that "Gay Marriage" is a civil rights issue. It has nothing in common with racial equality, or equal treatment of men and women under the law. It's a behavior that is learned not an innate desire. There are reasons to be against homosexuality that have nothing to do with Religion... Some say they have reason to celebrate... but it's a celebration of the dark side of humanity. The "Will to Power." If I feel I want something, I should have it regardless of it's cost to Society. Martin Luther King Junior is probably wondering what happened that society should endorse a form of morality that misuses human sexuality but in the end will be harmful to our children and our families.
05:41 AM on 06/28/2011
Homosexuality occurs throughout nature - in animals as well as mankind. There is no "light side" and "dark side" of human sexuality; we are all on the same side. Some like coffee, some like tea. Should I deny coffee drinkers their rights because I belong to the tea-drinking crowd?

Sexuality in all its forms is an innate desire - it cannot be learned any more than one can learn to have blue eyes or brown hair. Go research it online, science is proving more and more each day that sexuality is encoded into who we are from as far back as in the womb.

Also, please explain how allowing gay people to marry is harmful to children and families. Exactly how does it damage either? The definition of "family" is changing because society is waking up to the realisation that we as LGBTQ people are not:
A) mentally ill
B) recruiters to our cause
C) going away!
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Seacliff
California
05:53 AM on 06/28/2011
You are exactly right! Thank you.
10:35 AM on 06/28/2011
Can you provide me scientific proof that homosexuality in the womb? I've been researching and not finding much of anything.
05:49 AM on 06/28/2011
"[Homosexuality] is a behavior that is learned..."

Every bit of reliable scientific evidence we now have points to the fact that homosexuality is a fact of biology, innate and unchangeable, and not something that is taught or learned. Denying the evidence that has been clearly and repeatedly presented is not an act of faith; it is not even an act of ignorance; it is stupidity and bigotry.

Nor is there any evidence that homosexuality is in any way detrimental to society. Homophobia certainly is detrimental to society, just as any form of bigotry is.

There is no evidence that homosexuality is harmful to children or families. On the other hand, homophobia has torn families apart, and led to the deaths of many young LGTB people. Homophobia stands in opposition of the ability of LGTB people to form loving, stable family units.

As for what MLK, Jr. would have said about gay rights; I believe Corretta Scott King has spoken many times on her late husband's behalf regarding these issues.
02:59 PM on 06/28/2011
Can you please provide me with the scientific evidence that you speak of? I cannot find any..and I've been searching.
05:20 AM on 06/27/2011
I enjoyed this article. My grandparents, though deceased, were in their 20s during the height of Jim Crow racism. I remember their stories & it makes me ill that we still have so much hate to overcome. In fairness, though I support equality for homosexuals, I find the idea of "marriage" paradoxical. Religious institutions should not be forced to change principles unless they sanction, reward, or promote deviant & dangerous practices. Refusing to marry a gay couple in a church is not against public safety. I do not agree with bigotry, but I support the First Amendment. If homosexuality is a sin in a certain church/religion, they should have the right to refuse the ceremony. We can't keep attacking freedoms we don't agree with. Let the law validate gay marriage, the clergy will do as they choose.
01:54 PM on 06/27/2011
A marriage equality law would not force religions institutions to perform marriages that they didn't agree with. For example, divorce is legal in this country. Some churches however do not believe in divorce. I have a co-worker who was going to get re-married for the second time. The first two pastors that he approached to perform the ceremony refused because of his marital history. Allowing the LGBT community to marry simply ends discrimination in the eyes of the government. Separation of church and state guarantees that the government cannot dictate to a church what marriages it chooses to perform.
03:08 AM on 06/27/2011
No one knows who is gay or not until he/she opens his/her mouth and tell of a sexual preference. Unfortunately for people of color it is obvious that they are of a particular ethnicity and it has nothing to do with sexual preference. How these get compared on the same level is lost in the translation. A gay person can walk into a building and be totally accepted until the announcement of a sexual preference is made and then people get either uncomfortable or bigoted. Minorities get stopped before they even get in the building. They don't get to speak at all. God help if you are both. Now I get to marry my best friend who needs health insurance. DNA can prove if i'm a minority but how will it prove I'm gay? lol........
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Misterioso Adversario
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
02:43 PM on 06/27/2011
You seem to be missing the point entirely.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DevonTexas
Eternal Optimism
04:52 PM on 06/26/2011
"I am not old enough to remember but I hold in my body the memories of my parents,"

I'm thankful you hold on to those memories because a lot of black Americans didn't experience those times and didn't have first-hand experience with it so they overlook it. It wasn't that long ago that I saw it and was shocked. I won't forget it. If we forget the past, we are doomed to repeat it.
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dblueII
My micro bio is unprintable in this publication.
04:32 PM on 06/26/2011
This is a very nice little article. Unfortunately, it is far from the views of the vast majority of clergy. The fight is far from over.
06:21 PM on 06/26/2011
Gifts and callings are without repentence.
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dblueII
My micro bio is unprintable in this publication.
11:07 PM on 06/26/2011
Which also describes a tiny fraction of the clergy.
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02:13 AM on 06/28/2011
Hi. I believe more clergy are at least undecided, and many more believe as I do. It is diffiicult sometimes for clergy to come out of the closet on progressive views, due to pressure from their denominations.
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dblueII
My micro bio is unprintable in this publication.
03:09 AM on 06/28/2011
I take your point, there are many, many members of the clergy who are progressive, and there are more all the time; as well as those less progressive who do good things. I'm sorry for painting with to broad a brush.

However, the spiritual leadership does not tend to share the enlightenment of those they oversee, and for a non-church goer like me, those are the voices I hear.
07:58 AM on 06/28/2011
Is it a progressive issue then instaed of bible based issue???
04:19 PM on 06/26/2011
Rev. Dr. Lewis, your writing is beautiful and purpose-built. Thank you.

To me it seems the flip-side of 'diversity' is realizing we are all far more similar than different. Understanding and respecting our differences is key to being able to have respectful dialogue and disagreement about opinions/feelings.

Those of us who choose to support civil rights for all are also choosing to out-flank people in our society who try (with alarming success) to use our ignorance/fears/hates to achieve power over us. Those folks work hard to keep us at each others' throats.

How? We're bribed with sanctioned, even sacrosanct permission to abandon ourselves to the opiate of subjugating others for our own gratification. This allows us the illusion that we are not just powerful, we are safe from being subjugated ourselves.

People accepting flimsy, common-sense defying rationalizations should step back and ask themselves "how is believing this helping ME? What is the motivation of my political representative/favorite pundit, clergy, role model in getting me to buy this hogwash?"

They get your vote, tithe, public support, campaign donation, or loyalty. They get what they need to feel safe and powerful... at YOUR expense.

This dynamic knows no bounds: race, religion, creed, sexual orientation, sex and any other exploitable, relatively superficial demographic difference that might inspire even an inkling of fear.

My hope is that fewer of us give in to that temptation. This is change we can make.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DevonTexas
Eternal Optimism
04:53 PM on 06/26/2011
"They get your vote, tithe, public support, campaign donation, or loyalty. They get what they need to feel safe and powerful..­. at YOUR expense."

Excellent point.
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02:14 AM on 06/28/2011
So well said--I was talking about this on Sunday. Human dignity is not a zero sum game. There is enough love, enough self esteem, enough dignity for all of us. We do not have to be "somebody" at the expence of any body.
11:16 PM on 06/28/2011
How do you bring that idea to people who are heavily invested in securing their 'place' in the world at the expense of others?
11:17 PM on 06/28/2011
Ooops! I was in such a hurry to ask you my question I forgot to thank you for your response and compliment: thanks!
10:51 AM on 06/26/2011
There we go, the clergy fulfilling prophecy by tickling the ears of their listeners. God cannot be bought which is good so He will not change his standards for anyone.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Vondrazy Priest
09:14 AM on 06/28/2011
Now that's what I"m talking about. Not even a female preacher because He (God) never gave a female authority over a man.
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
cinemaven
Mom, wife, social & political activist, writer...
08:04 AM on 06/26/2011
Wonderful article

When my husband and I married 31 years ago, the Presbyterian minister who married us believed everyone was entitled to marry under the eyes of God so he also performed weddings for couples of mixed faith who's own clergy wouldn't marry them (the wedding before ours was a Catholic/Jewish couple) but he also performed affirmations for gay couples so he was way ahead of his time (actually Canada was behind the times but we caught up to him in 2005).

The blue haired ladies in the church were only scandalized when he remarried only a year after his wonderful wife passed away from cancer. They managed to have his church removed so he struck out to open a non-denominational wedding chapel and continued to do what he loved until he retired 3 years ago.

The people I know with the deepest faith are the most accepting and loving.
12:07 PM on 06/26/2011
You can be accepting and loving without changing the definition of a timeless truth -
06:25 PM on 06/26/2011
Also, accepting and loving does not mean we have to love sin. Jesus hates sin, but he died for all. Now that is the ultimate love