Written by Julie Ryan Evans on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
Last week, 47-year-old father Spencer Russell was in court for stealing some expensive designer handbags from a home his wife was paid to look after while the owners were away. When the owner noticed the missing items, he blamed it on his 2-year-old daughter.
He said the toddler liked to play dress-up, and she'd snatched them. Um, yeah right. He later admitted he took them, and though the judge didn't give him any jail time, he did call him out for his pathetic excuse.
So yes, blaming criminal activity on your tyke is pretty lame, but there are plenty of things you can blame on toddlers and get away with quite brilliantly. Toddlers are actually convenient patsies for a host of misdemeanors moms make. Here are seven things you can definitely blame on your toddler even when they're not exactly guilty:
1. Unwashed Hair or a Slightly Rank Smell
Who the hell has time to shower? And if you smell a little, well just blame it on the toddler's diaper.
2. Running Late for Appointments
So many ways to go here -- potty emergency, temper tantrum, or a disaster that necessitated a wardrobe change right before you headed out the door.
3. Unknowingly Wearing Two Different Shoes
Ask around; you'll be surprised how many moms have done this ... more than once. Who is cognizant enough after yet another night with your kid in bed kicking you in the head to distinguish a blue shoe from a red one?
4. Forgetting Your Mother-In-Law's Birthday
You can't remember your own name with all of those tantrums, you really can't be expected to remember that.
5. Skipping Weddings, Graduations, or Other Events You Don't Want to Attend
You simply couldn't find a babysitter, and unless they want the little dear there wreaking havoc, well ... next time.
6. A Messy House
The crumbs, the chaos, all of it is her fault!
7. Those Extra 10 Pounds You're Still Packing
Who can exercise with a toddler underfoot? And those damn chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese you cook for them are just too powerful to resist.
What do you blame on your toddler?