Springfield, IL -- Embattled Governor Rod Blagojevich is winning new found respect and admiration from this country's media establishment for his call to invade Indiana. Shouting to reporters from the alley behind his house, Blagojevich charged that Indiana has not fully complied with daylight savings time and may in fact be "stockpiling clocks."
Later, in an interview with ABC's Jonathan Karl, Blagojevich said he intends to torture residents of Gary, carpet bomb Evansville, and occupy Indianapolis until it can "sustain, govern, and defend itself." Karl nodded his head in agreement and told Blagojevich that "your hair looks really puffy."
NBC's Brian Williams hailed Blagojevich's intention to whimsically unleash death and carnage as "serious and statesmanlike", adding that he looks forward to "reconvening my highly paid panel of Pentagon propagandists posing as impartial experts." And new Meet the Press host David Gregory offered, in lieu of thought, to dance with Blagojevich "like the fawning cipher that I am."