Chamber of Commerce M.I.A.! Chevron Takes the Heat!

While you were sleeping this past Sunday evening, a most unusual incident transpired in San Francisco. Three top Chevron executives led a procession of hundreds from the Roxie Cinema at 16th and Valencia to the Chevron station at Market and Castro. It was quite a sight.

The execs stood atop wheeled platforms wearing "Survivaballs," 6-foot diameter "grub suits" designed to keep our most valuable citizens safe in the event of climate calamities they may have caused.

"We at Chevron have found a way to sustainably use fossil resources, while ensuring our survival in any ensuing climate crisis," said one bulbous executive. "I feel great, but I almost feel bad for the 99% of the population who can't afford one of these things."

After being dragged the mile uphill by hazmat-suit wearing minions, the executives descended from their wheeled daises to enact a series of "tableaux morts" from the post-apocalyptic future, with the Chevron station as backdrop. In one, they demonstrated to passersby just how easily a Survivaball could suck the lifeblood from any number of "less fiscally responsible" citizens. In another, they demonstrated how Survivaballs would protect executives from pounding assaults by starving hordes.

"This is only a little stretch," said Antonia Juhasz, director of the Chevron Program at Global Exchange. "Chevron is already actively sucking the lifeblood from many communities worldwide, including here in California, where they're not only destroying the environment, they're shirking $1.5 billion in taxes annually with the help of their lobbying. Also, for some it can feel as if Chevron has so successfully bought off the government that no amount of pounding will matter."

Larry Bogad, one of the protest organizers and a theatre professor at UC Davis, concurred. "Even the Pentagon agrees: corporations like Chevron are driving us to the brink of disaster. The rich will definitely need something like Survivaball to survive the result of what they're doing."

The eerie, elaborate protest ended on a positive note. "There's one thing a Survivaball cannot withstand," intoned Bogad through a bicycle-powered sound system. "And that's when citizens organize, and change the rules of the game, so that companies like Chevron can't keep undermining democracy and destroying the world."

The ensuing demonstration had the Survivaballs fleeing back down Market street whence they had marched, pursued by protesters, dozens of people in skeleton suits, and the fifty or so rebellious former "Chevron workers" who had dragged them up the hill.

"Organized resistance works," said Juhasz. "Right here in Richmond, long-term community organizing, combined with a lawsuit, has succeeded in stopping Chevron from a major retooling of its refinery -- which would have increased Chevron's already toxic presence in this area. They've been stopped dead in their tracks."

"There's still time," said David Solnit of Mobilization for Climate Justice West, one of the protest's organizers. "But we really have to act now. We've got to get organized, stay organized, and fight hard and effectively. One way to join the fight is to visit www.BeyondTalk.net."

Chevron is a target of citizen protests in California, across the United States and around the world because of Chevron's role at the forefront of climate destruction, human right and public health abuse, environmental devastation, economic strangulation, and wars for oil (The True Cost Chevron: An Alternative Annual Report).

Despite their record of heartily defending Chevron in disputes worldwide, the US Chamber of Commerce was nowhere to be seen Sunday evening. The Chamber, which is suing the Yes Men for impersonating them in a press conference two weeks ago, has purchased numerous Google Ad spots begging readers to give them money because they're "under attack" by the Yes Men and others.

Following a special screening of The Yes Men Fix the World, Bogad, Juhasz, Solnit, and film director Andy Bichlbaum led the entire theater audience, throngs of others waiting outside, and dozens of others who came out of their houses and off the streets to join the mass theatrical procession up 16th Street to the Chevron station at Market and Castro. This is the latest, and most elaborate in a series of post-screening rampages in major American cities including New York City and, most recently, Chicago.

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Comments

[WilliePilgrim]

I love these kinds of lampoons. One of the first I remember was from the 70s when an artist from Buffalo NY Joe Siple put together a piece of conceptual art intended to lampoon our rapacious use of the land, the environmentalists who were against it, and the news media. It was for a portable dam called a drainage plug. IIn the promotional flyers and brochures it looked like a dumpster with a parabolic bottom desinged to be placed into a dtypical rainage culvert using a crane...topped with a picture of Joe pasted onto it, wearting a crown! Oh, and a gal in a bikini, arms akimbo. He named it the Siple Drainage Plug. He rented a booth at a major trade fair at the Javitz convention center in NYC during a major trade fair for the field construction industry. Of course that's only the tip of the iceberg. He then mounted a protest by "environmentalists" who found the idea of a portable dam repulsive. What was funniest was that he got news to cover the protest and pretty soon people on both sides of the issue were arguing about something none of them realized was a hoax.

[woodshoe]

you guys never fail to impress.. your creative 'activist street-theater' put-ons always draw attention in ways that force polluters and parasites to come out and restate their cruel shortsighted policies.. renewing public awareness of what they do in the process..

(my personal favorite is still the 'dow chemical apology' on the BBC.. knowing what i know about dow and union carbide, i cried at even the thought of that kind of accountability for environmental treachery.)

thank you YES! men

[quisp65]

Chevron is just filling a demand that would be filled by someone else if they didn't. Too many people on this planet is the problem.

[The Meek]

Actually,I just read some good news on that subject.
I have seen it in 2 places. Here's one of them.

http://www.economist.com/displayStory.cfm?story_id=14744915&source=most_commented

[quisp65]

Interesting. I've heard that before, but I'll believe it when I see it. I don't believe that will occur across all cultures & socioeconomic groups equally.

[condor101]

Brilliant!
God Bless the Yes Men!

They are True American Heroes.

Chevron is just one polluting company that sucks manure.