Here's the cycle.
Person A does something person B doesn't like.
Person B gets hurt and calls them out on it.
Person A gets mad at Person B.
It happens to me over and over and over again. It's gotten to the point where I just expect it, like the people sitting in the splash zone at Sea World.
And then as I sat down to think about it, there's a lot of struggles that us overly sensitive people go through. It's not just one thing--it's a multitude of them. So, in the name of self-therapy through writing, I'm going to list every single one of them.
1. We're Always The Bad Guy, Even Though We Shouldn't Be
I'm going to write that again. We're always the bad guy, even though we shouldn't be. When somebody hurts us, we tell them about it. Then after we tell them, they feel like we're the ones attacking THEM, when we're simply telling them what hurt us. People, it's really not that hard to avoid being a complete Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins to somebody. Shout out to Will Ferrel.
2. We Expect People To Be Somewhat Honorable
Many times when conflict arises and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm not wrong, I decide to just let things sit until an apology presents itself from the other party. Yeah, about 95 percent of the time that doesn't happen. Our problem is we expect people to have at least a single shred of dignity and simply say two words that would make things better. Guys, being sensitive goes both ways. We get hurt, but all we need is a freaking apology and we're better. We don't need gifts and dinners and vases full of flowers.
And I also want to say that the ball isn't always in our court. We need to express to the other party that something is wrong. That's our duty to others.
3. Things End Up Blown Way Out Of Proportion
Because of our sensitivity, and because of the other party's hard-headedness, things get blown way out of proportion. Things escalate because two simple words couldn't be said. One person couldn't humble themselves and say a simple apology.
4. We Can't Fix It
In case anyone was wondering, we can't fix this. For the most part, we're very thoughtful individuals who expect much of ourselves and not much from others. But when somebody pushes our buttons, and we have a few, something must happen. It's nothing that we can fix. We can try to improve at communicating that we're hurt instead of internalizing it, but that's it. We are who we are.
5. People Get Fed Up With Us Easily
It gets to the point with certain people where it's like the boy who cried wolf syndrome. They get really annoyed that things keep going wrong, even when they should know by now what makes us tick. At one point you have to start wondering whether a relationship between the two of you is even healthy. Not all people are meant to get into a relationship with or be friends with somebody who is sensitive.
6. We're Left Hurting Extremely Badly
When we do call people out on something, often times they just don't apologize. Sometimes they even try to make it worse. This is the hardest part of it all because somebody we like or love is deliberately trying to hurt us more. Nothing is worse to a sensitive person than deliberate insensitivity.
7. Most Times We End Up Saying Sorry
Trust me, we hate conflict. We hate conflict as much as we hate getting our feelings hurt. So to bypass conflict we end up saying sorry simply to make things normal again. This isn't a healthy way to take care of the situation at all.
8. Some Times We're Serious And Cut People Off
Sometimes we are serious and end up cutting people off for good. And no, it wasn't all just because of a dumb little text or a dumb little side comment--it was because the other person didn't have the humility to simply take two seconds to say sorry. Literally all we want is an apology. When we're hurt that bad, we remember it.
9. People Simply Don't Learn
After a few months of knowing someone, you kind of understand what makes them tick and what doesn't make them tick. For those who are friends with sensitive people, you should be able to understand that we have a few land mines embedded in the soil of our personality, but if you simply avoid doing just one or two things, life with us is going to be absolute gravy.
10. We Sound Over-Emotional
I'm sure you got that just from reading this post. The truth is that we're amazing friends to have. We'll put in more effort than anyone else and we'll also be much more thoughtful than anyone else. It goes both ways. You get the insane highs with the lows. And the fact is that you won't even get the lows that much if you simply stop doing the two or three things that we don't like!
11. It's Hard To Find Someone That Gets It
I have a few friends that get it. They understand that sometimes jokes need to be kept to a minimum, and that I have my stressful days every now and then. I hardly fight with these kinds of people. For the most part we have awesome times together with little to no conflict at all, while on the other hand I could have multiple conflicts a day with somebody else.
Again, it all depends on the personality of the people around us, and whether they even care about the sensitivity of other people.
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