Having too many options can leave you paralyzed, though considering how smart it made Stephen Hawking maybe that's exactly what you need. Here to paralyze you with deliciousness: 4food.
A fast food concept from an eclectic group of partners (an architect, a CEO, the founder of Niman Ranch), 4F's peddling their build-a-burger menu, which boasts over 140 million possible combos, within a super-modern arena with large communal tables, bleacher seating, and a 240sqft LED monitor, the biggest image of a burger since the Steelers went to Cowboys Stadium. Here's how it breaks down:
Meat & Buns: Start by choosing a carb base (brioche, pumpernickel, bagel...) and an all-natural/sustainably caught protein, from Northeast Family Farms chuck, to harissa-tinged lamb, to wild Alaskan king salmon, to Breakfast Pork, which thankfully won't stop you from getting busy with the "I have morning breath" excuse.
Scoops: Each patty's got a hole in the center destined to be filled with one of 25 "scoops", including BBQ baked beans, cheddar & scallion grits, chorizo hash, mac & cheese, and MoFo -- a mix of bacon, onion, and plantain that thinks anyone stepping to it must be bananas.
Slices: Operating as a seal for the scoop, choices range from fresh avocado, to Soppresseta, to pickles, designated for the "more conservative or less adventurous", leaving Jesse Ventura only half satisfied.
Cheese: smoked Lioni Mozzarella, aged goat, late-career Aerosmith ballads, Black River Blue...
Condiments/Spreads: Taking standard toppings to "another level", 4F's got 15+ finishing touches including tatziki, hummus, guac, and Jamaican jerk, once again leaving Jesse Ventura only half satisfied.
Should you so choose, you can upload your Frankenburger via their website and promote it with a homemade commercial, which may be aired on their big-screen; every time someone orders your creation you'll nab $.25 store credit, so tell people to buy it -- it's the closest you're gonna get to Hawking.
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