How To Talk (And Not Talk) Like A Foodie: A Primer

We invited a hardcore foodie and a normal dude to have dinner together, commenting along the way about what was going in their mouths.
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Both foodies and people who just have to eat (aka everybody) can always agree on the fact that they love food. How they talk about it? Well, that's a very, very different story. In the name of science, we invited a hardcore foodie and a normal dude to have dinner together, commenting along the way about what was going in their mouths.

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BEER

The Foodie says: "The subtle flavors in this brew really set it apart. The distinct floral qualities add a certain complexity to the bitterness of -- I want to say Cascade hops? Yes, those are definitely Cascade hops."

The Regular Dude says: "Man, this beer was great. Now give me another beer."

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RED WINE

The Foodie says: "Typically this time of year I prefer a powerful and muscular Malbec, but I'm very intrigued by this mysterious and adulterous Sangiovese, thanks to its heavy concentration of fig notes, and this tannic finish that's giving off just a hint of plum and longing."

The Regular Dude says: "Guess who just ordered the second cheapest bottle of Italian red? THIS guy."

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FRIED CHICKEN

The Foodie says: "I love comfort food, and you can tell that this was treated with the love of somebody who has spent time in the South. There's a tenderness to the meat that can only come from a buttermilk bath, but there's something missing. Maybe if it was glossed with honey butter and a chile-infused, organic maple syrup? And paired with a Mingus LP, naturally?"

The Regular Dude says: "I'm going to take SUCH an awesome nap after this."

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SUSHI

The Foodie says: "Arigato, Tony-san! You've made yet another masterpiece. Only a true itamae could take yellowtail and make it pop like bluefin... it's all the flavor with none of the guilt!"

The Regular Dude says: "TONY, this is some bomb soosh! Can I get A LOT more wasabi? And a fork?"

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