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Villa Del Palmar Loreto: Get Soaked in Mexico

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Spring in Mexico offers many opportunities to get wet, though good luck focusing on the t-shirt contest after smoking all that meth. Enjoy real Mexican watersports without creeping out the college kids around you, at Villa Del Palmar Loreto.

Opening next month on Mexico's pristine Islands of Loreto, VDP boasts 171 villas (luxed out with balconies and whirlpool tubs) situated along the sea of Cortez, an undiscovered paradise that sits at the base of the Sierra de la Giganta mountains and is home to the largest natural marine park in Mexico, though if they want to rival our Marines, they should probably start taking 'roids. Aquatic activities include scuba & snorkeling expeditions in Loreto Bay, home to over 900 kinds of reef fish as well as corals, sea lions, dolphins, and more; world class game fishing (sailfish, marlin, yellowfin...); whale watching for humpbacks, Bryde's, pilots, and even blues; windsurfing & kiteboarding; plus surfing expeditions to neighboring Scorpion Bay, thankfully not Scorpions Bay, as there you'd be rocked by hurricanes before being blown out to sea by the winds of change. Drier pursuits include hiking the mountains in search of rare reptiles and birds, renting ATVs to terrorize said reptiles and birds, checking out Baja races in the nearby desert, or playing 18 Rees Jones-designed holes, after which you can return to the Villa to mow down local sushi and steaks, smoke stogs, and chill in multi-level swimming pools they describe as "free-form", so they'll totally have sick flow.

And because nature apparently doesn't suck, they even have four- and eight-day eco tourism packages that include guided rock climbing tours and nights spent sleeping in ecological tents under the stars, though if you wanted to sleep under a star you would have shared your meth with Charlie Sheen.