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Tijana Milosevic

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Workaholism in America: A European's Perspective

Posted: 01/08/11 11:55 AM ET

Coming from Serbia -- a country of six million in Eastern Europe that once belonged to a larger, war-torn entity called socialist Yugoslavia -- I wasn't fully aware of the notion of "career anxiety" when I came to Washington D.C. for my MA degree. Until one evening, that is, at the very onset of the school year. A colleague of mine who was just turning 27 raised his glass and voiced his fear: "Twenty-seven: no serious job and no stable career track."

I was 23 at the time and could not comprehend why anyone would be obliged to have a "career track," let alone a stable one, especially at (what I saw as) the tender age of 27. In fact, I had never entertained the concept the way my American friends were referring to it.

While many Americans move out of their homes when they're 19 to hit college, the East- European model is quite different. Countries are smaller, and if there's any migration it is directed typically towards the capital, so young people continue to live with their families through college. Because of high unemployment rates and poor standard of living, they aren't expected to become financially independent, and many depend on their parents well into their late twenties or even early thirties -- without a sense of shame that such state of affairs entails in the US. These factors reduce the relevance of what Americans often describe as "the treadmill feel" -- an almost compulsive desire for continuous promotions, financial gains, followed by a rise in social status, and an increasing social anxiety.

In societies that are similar to mine, the American model is looked down upon as "harsh capitalistic," "individualistic" and above all "alienated," as American parents are not perceived to provide enough financial and emotional support for their children. In fact my family and friends had observed that I shouldn't have chosen America, since I would probably feel better in Western Europe -- where life is not as fast paced as in the US and capitalism still has a "human face."

For example, Americans still work nine full weeks (350 hours) longer than West Europeans do and paid vacation days across Western Europe are well above the US threshold. The French still have the 35 hour working week, while the hourly productivity is one of the highest in the world. On the other hand, in the US an increasing popularity of employment therapy suggests that a high-paying job still comes first, as job issues "have a huge mental health component," and therapists emphasize the importance of "toxic co-workers and the ramifications of massive layoffs."

Numerous writers have outlined the dangers of isolation and careerism in the American society. In her famous work "Eichmann in Jerusalem," Hannah Arendt equates careerism with a lack of thinking that led to Holocaust: "what for Eichmann was a job, with its daily routine, its ups and downs, was for the Jews quite literally the end of the world. Genocide [...] is work. If it is to be done, people must be hired and paid; if it is to be done well, they must be supervised and promoted."

In Serbia even young and busy corporate-minded career professionals do not have to mark their calendars to meet with close friends. One can always find the time for a spontaneous chat over coffee. Still, this laid back culture is now beginning to change with an increasing development of free market capitalism. I still remember how strange it felt when I first came to DC and had to schedule coffees and lunches with people weeks or even months in advance. I found it odd that people rarely picked up the cell phone (which, granted, could be merely my personal experience, although many Americans confirmed it!) and would often leave the time and date of the call in their voicemails, which implied the other person might not get back to them in a while. I also came to discover that what Americans often referred to as "friends," people from my region would prefer to call "acquaintances." The term "friend" cannot be reserved for someone you meet once in a couple of months and do not know well enough to open up to.

Those experiences bring to mind a memorable line from from "Eat, Pray, Love," a biographical story recently turned into a Hollywood blockbuster starring Julia Roberts: "You Americans know entertainment but you do not know how to enjoy yourselves." Roberts plays a successful thirty-something American who decides to embark on a soul-searching trip to Italy, India and Bali after realizing her job, husband and newly bought house are not what she really wanted from life. Perhaps that's a superficial take on what many would describe as an equally superficial Californian trend to "do something spiritual," but the above quote shows there's something to the American career frenzy that remains unique to the United States. The opportunity cost for "dolce far niente" or "the joy of doing nothing," runs high.

Reflecting on this, I ran into an interesting take on "Eat Pray Love" by a 23-year old blogger: "We are not sympathetic to spiritual personal crises anymore. If you want to have an emotional breakdown about something, you better have a logical, elaborate and secular reason; otherwise you will be dismissed as whiny, annoying and laughable." I wonder if her comment has to do with the lack of experience or the possibility that the generation entering the work force will not have an adequate justification for its desire to escape the treadmill feel -- amidst all the superficial takes on this complex topic.

 
Coming from Serbia -- a country of six million in Eastern Europe that once belonged to a larger, war-torn entity called socialist Yugoslavia -- I wasn't fully aware of the notion of "career anxiety" w...
Coming from Serbia -- a country of six million in Eastern Europe that once belonged to a larger, war-torn entity called socialist Yugoslavia -- I wasn't fully aware of the notion of "career anxiety" w...
 
 
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08:16 PM on 01/14/2011
I am getting old and had a major injury a year and a half ago that has led me to have difficulty walking or even sitting in "normal" chairs.

My 27 year old boss begrudges me having to work from home part time (though I could live anywhere in the world, theoretically, and still do my particular job).

If I had the money I would certainly move to Europe.
04:36 PM on 01/14/2011
Tijana,
thanks so much for the article! It's very well-written and it touches the most important aspects of the modern American life. I wish I could explain it to at least a few people I work with...
Sometimes I feel like screaming - having no choice but to work full-time, 2.5-hour commute, seeing the kids 2 hours a day (the most), no time for friends or family, weekends busy with home chores. Is this life? Is this what I was looking for when I moved to the States 11 years ago?
When I say I have 2 weeks of vacation a year, my friends from back home reply: "Oh, man! This is rough! How do you LIVE?"
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Tijana Milosevic
07:14 PM on 01/16/2011
Thank you, I hope you manage to find a solution that works better for you soon!
02:14 AM on 01/14/2011
More money, more problems. I became professionally successful very quickly in my early 20s and took on more and more financial and professional responsibility. My family and close friends praised my success and spoke of how fortunate I was while, inside, I felt myself slipping away.

I eventually lost sight of who I was and that led to a spiral of isolation and depression until I couldn't take it anymore and just snapped. I had a breakdown and quit my high paying job in the middle of a horrible economy with unemployment on the rise. My parents are still disappointed in me and treat me like a failure, but I am genuinely happy now. Centering your mind on money is a neverending struggle. Finding what makes you happy and learning to enjoy the small, precious things that life has to offer is truly the way to live.
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Tijana Milosevic
05:58 AM on 01/14/2011
Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
09:41 PM on 02/01/2011
I'm on the cusp of a similar situation. The money is not worth it. I make my money in consulting, and i'm ready to quit and start doing what I want to do: teach music. I realized this while drinking cheap beer at a sweaty rock show in someone's dingy basement, having the time of my life.

I can't live like this and I can't believe so many people do. They think it's okay, they think it's something that can't be questioned or changed. I hope more of my generation catch on to the lie.
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Quincy Miller
Think with your heart.
12:16 AM on 01/13/2011
I'm working three jobs, right now, to support my family and get just a few steps beyond survival mode, which hasn't occurred. Somewhere deep inside it hit me, recently, that this way of life is slowly killing me. Completely contrary to all common sense, I'm trying to survive by dying. Thank you for this article, which to me seems like a timely reflection of my present unspoken thoughts and feelings. Hopefully, some of us who're over-worked have misplaced our priorities will be inspired by your point of view to reawaken the spectrum of our humanity that we've neglected. May love, not money or "success" become our highest priority. Thank you.
09:46 PM on 02/01/2011
May you have the strength and support to improve your situation soon.
05:47 PM on 02/07/2011
I loved your line "Completely contrary to all common sense, I'm trying to survive by dying." I know the feeling and I hope both of our situations change for the better. Soon!
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lotusgirl
Turned off the TV and stepped out of the Matrix
10:31 PM on 01/12/2011
This is an awesome article. I want to simplify my life so I can stop working so hard. I had a major bought with depression, and I think it's from working so many hours a week. I work from home, which causes even more isolation. My fatigue caused me not to want to do anything on the weekends or be bother talking to people.

Now, I still work hard, but I'm prioritizing my days differently. I take my daughter to school in the morning, go for a power walk or short run, then start my day. I make sure to take the time for at least a few phone calls to friends every day.

We American's love to compare how many hours we work and have workaholic contest amongst ourselves. I'm trying to get a better sense of balance.

Thanks for the wake up call.
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Tijana Milosevic
09:43 AM on 01/13/2011
Thanks for your comment, good luck with your pursuits!
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gemzenith
09:52 PM on 01/12/2011
I used to have a job I liked to earn money to spend time doing the things I loved with my free time.Now I have a job I hate and feel like a mindless ant toiling for the colony.
08:35 PM on 01/12/2011
Not sure what to make of this. Perhaps my avatar gives it away; I'm an Engineer (here in the US). Like many in my trade, do truly love the work that I do, and don't mind long hours. Think I thrive on them, truth to tell.

But, does put a crimp in time for after hour activities, and don't get to spend time with friends so often...

And, do know plenty of folks who are much more slaves to their jobs than I, and who are so, due to compulsion, avarice, fear, or weird self esteem issues, rather than any great love of what they're doing. Does seem sad...
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Tijana Milosevic
09:42 AM on 01/13/2011
Thank you for the observations regarding psychology behind the treadmill. I think that's a great point. You are very lucky indeed to have found what suits you best professionally.
03:24 PM on 01/12/2011
Lets see past ten years,i work 50 to 60 hours a week, Successful at work. Do not take vacations without lap top and cell phone. When I have time I ski alone, play golf alone, ride my rode bike alone.
Do not have a lot of contact with the guys I used to run with. But I am successful at work
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gemzenith
09:49 PM on 01/12/2011
I hope that makes you happy, sincerely.I know I would be dead inside, but more power to you if that's what you want.
10:17 AM on 01/13/2011
Dead is not the word, there is not a word for it
01:31 PM on 01/12/2011
Tijana, wonderful article. I was born in the US and lived in Eastern Europe for several years, working for a Western European organization. Then I worked resettling Serbian refugees in the US and really became part of their community here in one large metro area. What I miss most about the region is what you so aptly pointed out - the time people have to be real, true friends and connected to each other. We have lost something so vital in our quest for more, more, more and productivity. I don't know if it is possible to get it back. Thank you for voicing so many feelings I have had since living in the US again.
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Tijana Milosevic
04:26 PM on 01/12/2011
Thanks so much, I am glad that the perspective resonates. Best of luck!
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Douglas LaBier
12:08 PM on 01/12/2011
Excellent article, Tijana -- It meshes with my own work over the years when looking at how the careerist-dominated culture affects people's values, sense of self-betrayal, and conflicts in many other areas. I think the volume of comments you've received shows how much your observations strike a chord - both in terms of resonating positively with some; and threatening to others, as well!
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Tijana Milosevic
04:26 PM on 01/12/2011
Thank you, much appreciated!
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KathleenQYD
www.QuintessentialYouDesign.com
06:22 PM on 01/11/2011
Born in North America - Canada, in fact - to Eastern European parents who were born in what used to be called Yugoslavia, I totally get what you are talking about. For me, the saddest thing I see in the frenzy to 'make it' according to North America's defined standards is the loss of following our own soul and the creative expression it was designed for... individually and collectively. When we come to a place of recognizing that we did not take life to make money, save for our retirement, and then have enough to support being taken care of while we make our way to death, we will create a renaissance of living and being all that we have the potential to be everyday without pre-conditions that we have been convinced we must put in place before allowing this kind of fulfillment! I made some choices of my own in support of this in my early 40's. I'm glad I did though for the initial number of years, I had to claw and fight my way to staying on my own designed path!
www.QuintessentialYouDesign.com
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Tijana Milosevic
08:58 PM on 01/11/2011
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective and the link to your blog!
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KathleenQYD
www.QuintessentialYouDesign.com
09:35 PM on 01/11/2011
Tijana - Delighted to be in conversation with you - the perfect way to create new ideas, new considerations, and new ways of being in our world. Invite you to accept QYou's gift of discovering the central elelment of your own QuintessentialYou Blueprint, if you are inspired to do so.
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05:41 PM on 01/11/2011
I appreciate the perspective! We Americans think we are all entrepreneurs and our concepts of productivity are closely aligned with business. Too much puritan work ethic, too much brainwashing probably. Yes, we all have a symbiotic relationship to business, but we forget that the purpose of business is to be a life-support system for people. We should support the businesses and business practices that do this best. We seem to think of business as being so fragile that the slightest accommodation of human needs/desires is going to crush the life from it. We don't deserve better pay, healthcare, a retirement...it hurts business! And sometimes it does, but it's a continuum, not an absolute. Let's just remember that if you don't pay people, keep them healthy,and make them feel secure in their financial future, they can't buy your products, they don't need your products, and they won't risk having to eat dogfood til the end of their lives by buying your products. Oh, and, life isn't about your products. Freedom is that time between quitting time and the next morning or Monday, when you go back to work. Freedom is the vacation you spend with your family. Here, we pay dearly for that.
03:58 PM on 01/11/2011
i agree. american workweeks are too long. we have lost sight of the important things in life in our quest for material gain.
07:36 PM on 01/12/2011
No one is forcing you to work 40 hours a week or lose sigh of the important things in life. Always remember that.

You can easily work part time.
03:03 PM on 01/11/2011
The system reinforces workaholism. The agreement between my union and employer is that all RN's work full time. I don't need or want to, but my choice is to quit a job I love and find a part time job, or stay.

I've been around long enough to have just over a month of vacation time a year. Using it is another story. My department won't hire or train someone who can cover me so they freak out when I want to go on vacation.

So I am an unwilling workaholic. Working full time for reasons outside my control and have dozens of hours of vacation time banked, but not because I don't want to use them.

By no means lazy, I just want to have more life in my life.
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Tijana Milosevic
02:35 PM on 01/11/2011
Thanks again everyone for the comments!

Just an additional note: it's interesting how the majority of comments revolve around systemic issues (government, regulation or society), while my fascination resides on the level of primary personal psychology (as influenced by trends in society). And so all those who related the mindset that I discuss here to China, Japan or other places- I think that's a great point too.

The issue I discuss is in my opinion (as I also hint in the article) not intrinsic to the US- on the contrary.