06/15/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Your Best Investment

Congratulations! Today is your opportunity to make one of the most important and meaningful investments available. We are confident that this prospectus will open your eyes to the many strengths of your investment, as well as the numerous and valuable dividends it bears.
Your investment will be structured and organized under existing federal regulations. In fact, it will be paying for them. These federal regulations are what make the trading of securities and investments not only possible, but lucrative; a strong regulatory framework is critical for robust economic growth.
We recognize that an inefficiently managed investment is unlikely to generate strong returns. With an eye towards that truth, we've hired a crack team that routinely turns in the most efficient performance on the planet amongst investments of this type. These hard-working and motivated individuals undertake their task with dedication, even in the face of serious risks.
Your investment is not just efficient, however. You can expect an incredible return on your investment through an unmatched dividend structure. Your investment funds the most advanced and capable military in the world; an educational system that underpins the most prolific research and development faculty on the planet; infrastructural developments which make possible incredible economic growth in every other industry; environmental standards to preserve the globe for future generations; and legal regulation and enforcement to keep your investments prosperous and secure. When you say you're supporting our troops, you're putting your money where your mouth is, and at the same time you're supporting our children, our future, and our environment. Talk about return on investment!
Like all investments, your investment today is not without risk. There are opponents, foreign and domestic, who will stop at nothing to undermine and destroy the gains your investment has made and continues to make. However, we are confident that this challenge, like so many others, is one that we Americans can and will rise to. Together, there is nothing we can't do.
Happy Support America day!