A new report was just released, unveiling a study of adolescents and stress. It's eye-opening. I realize I've written on this topic already, but I continue to be stunned by the number of high school and college students I meet who are paralyzed by stress. I asked myself, Is it just me? Am I the only one meeting kids full of angst?
Turns out, I'm not.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, one in eight children suffers from an anxiety disorder. The problem is so severe for 10 percent of teens that it disrupts their lives. By the time they reach college, almost half say their anxiety makes it difficult to function. Life is not supposed to be this way for kids.
What teens say
I just interviewed Dr. Jean Twenge, author and psychology professor at San Diego State University, and she said teens are now demonstrating more psychosomatic symptoms of anxiety and depression, such as trouble sleeping or remembering, than ever before. High school students at the Newport Academy, a behavioral treatment center, revealed what it's like to feel overwhelmed by the stress from parents, friends and school:
"I didn't see any other people in my life struggling with anxiety, so I constantly felt like there was something wrong with me," one teen said.
Another student admitted, "I feel so far behind everyone else, and I can't keep up. So I start thinking about how it would be better if I wasn't even here."
Some teens complain that social media has complicated their lives, forcing them to pretend they're outgoing and having fun when the reality is much different. One report states that 33 percent admitted to doing something just so they could brag about it on Facebook. Many said their parents added to their anxiety by constantly hovering, arranging after-school activities and pressuring them to do well in class.
Two big causes
I have observed two gigantic realities that have led to this "stress" dilemma:
- Teens have never been more pressured by adults to make the grade, make the team, make the cut and make a difference. They feel like losers if they're not the best.
Teens have never been more devoid of coping skills to handle adversity. This is due to adults over-connecting, over-protecting, over-serving and overwhelming them.Consider this: The very same adult (perhaps parent) who shelters a student from any failure may also be the one who's pressuring them to push forward in tough times. It's very hard to face hardships if you've never been introduced to it -- and in fact, have been sheltered from it -- your whole life.
In a recent focus group, I was appalled by the kinds of challenges that paralyzed students. By the way, the participants in the focus group were great students: smart, savvy, good-looking, and many of them quite popular. But they were challenged by relatively minor difficulties, like a C- on a paper or a breakup with a boyfriend. I remained silent and listened, but inside, I was thinking: Wow. Count your blessings. In ten years, these will be the least of your worries!
A balanced approach
It's importance to stay balanced on this issue. It's easy for us, as adults, to forget the angst of being a teenager. We forget the stress we felt over relatively small problems in the midst of raging hormones, peer bullies and tough teachers. Here are some keys to responding to and equipping a stressed-filled student:
- Perception: Keep your antennas up. Look for signs of angst, including extreme silence and withdrawal, hiding their habits, or covering things up as a coping mechanism.
Origins: Help them discover the source of their anxiety. Trace their feelings to specific situations or experiences they've had. Understanding origins informs action. Outlook: Help them understand these feelings are a natural part of adolescence. Their body and brain are changing. It's normal to feel overwhelmed in this season. Responsibility: Enable them to see what is in their control, what is out of their control, and what is within their influence. These three require different responses. Priorities: Stress can arise from attempting to please too many people or do too many things. Help them choose what's most important and what can be discarded. Our young people are far too valuable -- and their future is far too important -- to allow stress to dictate these years they spend preparing for adulthood.
Do you have any stories of moments you helped your students or kids effectively manage stress?
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.