On long drives, I often amuse myself by creating off-beat all-star teams. Here is an example: the best Major League Baseball players (and managers) who have the same last name as a U.S. president.
My mother once said (in jest, I think): "If you'd put that mind to good use, you could do great things." This all-star team is the sort of thing that might have provoked that comment.
All-Same-Last-Name-as-a-US-President Team (MLB)
FIRST TEAM
CGary Carter
1BJoe Carter
2BDavey Johnson
3BHoward Johnson
SSJack Wilson
RFReggie Jackson
CFWillie Wilson
LFShoeless Joe Jackson
DHHack Wilson
SPWalter Johnson
SP Randy Johnson
SP Whitey Ford
SPBilly Pierce
RP Mudcat Grant
SECOND TEAM
CTerry Kennedy
1BVon Hayes
2BAdam Kennedy
3BDeron Johnson
SSUL Washington
LFPreston Wilson
CFLance Johnson
RFClaudell Washington
DHBo Jackson
SP Larry Jackson
SP Earl Wilson
SPDon Wilson
SPC J Wilson
RP Brian Wilson
THIRD TEAM
CCharles Johnson
1BMatt Adams
2BTony Taylor
3BCharlie Hayes
SSSonny Jackson
LFMookie Wilson
CFOtis Nixon
RFTrot Nixon
DHAlex Johnson
SP Ian Kennedy
SP Reggie Cleveland
SP Alvin Jackson
SP Lefty Tyler
RP Grant Jackson*
RP Ron Taylor
Biding their time in the Bush leagues, hoping for a phone call ...
Craig Monroe
Roric Harrison
JJ Hoover
Lou Clinton
Homer Bush
Disco Danny Ford
Cliff Johnson
Reggie Jefferson
Buster Adams
Enrique Wilson
Randy Bush
John Kennedy
Ruled ineligible...
Curtis Grant-erson
Grover Cleveland Alexander
Jimmy Pierce-all
Jack San-Ford
Biff Polk-oroba
Chester B. Arthur Rhodes
William McKin-Lee Mazzilli
Martin Van Lingle Mongo
Willie Mays Hayes
Henry Aaron Burr (No VPs!)
Manager and Coaches: Davey Johnson, Darrell Johnson, Russ Nixon, Ron Washington, Bob Kennedy
First Aid and Grooming Supplies: Johnson & Johnson
Bullpen car courtesy of Ford Lincoln
Vacuuming courtesy of Hoover
Auto Repair and Maintenance: Monroe Muffler
Minor League Affiliates: Madison, Jackson, Lincoln, Johnson City, Jefferson, Monroe.
National Anthem performed (on a rotating basis) by: James Taylor, George Clinton, Grover Washington, Isaac Hayes, Jefferson Airplane, Dead Kennedys, Heart (featuring Ann and Nancy Wilson), Tennessee Ernie Ford, Amy Grant, Betty Carter and Kate Bush.
Home games: Cleveland, Washington
*Note that Grant Jackson's name includes the last names of two US presidents.
----
Herbert Hoover handily defeated Democrat Al Smith in the 1928 Presidential election, 58%-41%. An Al Smith victory surely would have been good for the country (recall the Crash of 1929, the subsequent depression, and Hoover's Hooverian response to the Great Depression). More to the point, an Al Smith victory would also have left me with a several excellent additions to this roster. For example, Ozzie, Reggie, Lonnie, Lee, Dave and Zane Smith.
History is full of near misses.
Bonus: The All Johnson Team
C Charles Johnson
1BDeron Johnson
2BDavey Johnson
SSTim Johnson
3BHoward Johnson
LFAlex Johnson
CFLance Johnson
RFSweet Lou Johnson
DHCliff Johnson
SPWalter Johnson
SP Randy Johnson
SP Bob Johnson
SP Syl Johnson
SP Bart Johnson
SP John Henry Johnson
Coaches: Davey Johnson, Darrell Johnson
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