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Tim Suttle

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An Evangelical Goes to Mass

Posted: 02/05/11 10:08 PM ET

Roman Catholic mass can be a stolid exercise, perhaps even more so during Midday Mass at Conception Abbey in rural Nodaway County, Missouri. Walking up the steps of the basilica I'm braced by the cold -- there's a foot of snow on the ground and the wind is whipping. I enter the building through great wooden doors to the sanctuary. Cast in subdued light, I'm hit with the warmth of the room. The smell of incense is immediate; the sacred space a menagerie of images.

Built in 1883, the abbey church is a basilica, a status granted only to churches of major importance in the regional life of Catholicism. There are paintings on every surface, and statues or columns in every sight-line. The Beuronese murals which line the top of each wall tell the story of God. Dipping my fingers in the basin at the back of the church, I cross myself and bow to the altar. There are several dozen people already seated, scattered about. While the organist quietly plays a prelude we kneel and pray, awaiting the procession.

As I look around the room, I'm reminded that this place was once the scene of terrible violence. In 2002 a man named Lloyd Robert Jeffress entered carrying a pair of rifles and began shooting people. He walked through the halls of the monastery killing two and wounding others, then returned to the basilica and killed himself. The next day the bells of the abbey sounded once for every year the two slain monks were a part of the order -- a total of eighty-three times -- today they ring us back to mass and to sing the psalms throughout the day. That these peaceful monks suffered such heartache yet remain vulnerably open to visitors is not only a testament to their hospitality but also their commitment to the rule of St. Benedict, "Let all guests who arrive be received like Christ." I have much to learn from them.

The mass begins. The liturgy of the word includes several call-and-response sections which I pretend to know, but no one would notice if I remained silent. One of the younger monks reads from the lectern. It is the same monk who read at morning prayers -- his turn I suppose -- Old Testament, New Testament, and the Gospel for which we all stand. The priest reads the passage, and then we sit to listen to the Homily delivered peacefully.

When he is finished we sit in silence for a long time. Contemplation is assumed. The basilica is capacious, but so is the liturgy; room to think, room to pray, room to simply be. Every cough, sneeze or rattle reverberates throughout this place. Sounds live longer lives in a room like this, fading slowly. We sit and await the next moment, awaiting our Lord, awaiting ourselves. Our posture is one of hands open, receiving this mass not generating it. A restless person would find this off-putting, but nobody here checks their watch. The priest breaks the silence for the prayers of the people.

As we move toward the Eucharist, we begin with rites of community. We recite the Lord's Prayer and pass the peace and I'm reminded that one cannot receive the sacrament unless they first receive their neighbor. I walk the ten or twelve feet to close the gap between me and my fellow congregants. It must be done with intentionality and purpose. The monks who are ordained as priests join the celebrant on the altar and offer this Eucharist together. They raise their hands in concert, like reverent choreography.

It is at this point in the mass that always I feel the most like an outsider, an eavesdropper. As a Protestant I am not permitted to receive the sacrament. I think of the injury which separates us and feel only sadness for the schism that keeps me kneeling in my place. Five-hundred years of Protestants blaming Catholics while we ourselves split into a million denominations; enough inhospitality to go around I guess. Us, them, we, sing a song and watch the priest prepare the altar. He washes his hands, not just for himself but for all of us. We pray together over the gifts. The climax of the mass is here.

The bells are silent as the priest prays his epiclesis. I like the bells at this point, and although they hang by the stalls of the monks, I've never heard them ring at the abbey. I love when the priest holds the bread high above his head and breaks it in half. "Let your Spirit come upon these gifts to make them holy." The consecrated host and wine are offered first to the priests, then the monks, then the congregation. I kneel and pray, "Take and eat; this is My Body." Someday we will all share this moment together in solidarity. When the host has been received and the altar made tidy, we all sit in silence once again. Mass in the city never contains this much tranquility and expectation. A prayer and a blessing, then we are dismissed. I kneel once toward the tabernacle on my way to the back of the church. I spin and bow to the altar in dipping my fingers in the basin to cross myself. I'm out the door into the cold again.

 
 
 

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Roman Catholic mass can be a stolid exercise, perhaps even more so during Midday Mass at Conception Abbey in rural Nodaway County, Missouri. Walking up the steps of the basilica I'm braced by the cold...
Roman Catholic mass can be a stolid exercise, perhaps even more so during Midday Mass at Conception Abbey in rural Nodaway County, Missouri. Walking up the steps of the basilica I'm braced by the cold...
 
 
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07:36 PM on 03/20/2011
I like the structure of mass and the setup where every Catholic Church in the world uses the same reading schedule. In the old days, before telephones and mass communication, if you were separated because say, for example, your loved one was overseas at war or on business, there was a comfort in sitting at mass and knowing your loved one was hearing the same exact readings that day, and saying the same prayers. It was kind of like agreeing to both look at the moon on the same night. You could also pray the hours, at the same time, in solidarity with each other no matter how far apart you were. It was a way of making a facebook-like connection with someone in real time in a time before computers. Even now I have friends who live far away and think of them while I'm at mass, knowing they are listening and doing the same in church in step with me, kind of with me even though they are far away.
Nowadays we can talk to each other even though we are from different countries and discuss the Sunday reading and chat about differences in each of our priest's interpretation/homily that day, because we both heard the same readings.
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Catherine Alexander
03:24 PM on 03/16/2011
Dear Tim, this may have been pointed out in one of the earlier (of 261) comments, but you were not kept seated during Holy Communion because of "the schism." You were kept seated because you are not Catholic. You are free to become a Catholic and receive Holy Communion. If, however, you do not believe what the Catholic Church teaches (and presumably you do not), then why would you want to participate in the very act that says you believe?

You referred to the Eucharist as the "consecrated host and wine." But you surely know that for Catholics, once it is consecrated it is no longer bread or wine, but the actual Body and Blood of Christ. If you do not believe this, you cannot say "Amen" when it is handed to you. If you did, your Amen would be a lie.
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Frank Bourne
The truth hurts.
02:59 PM on 02/09/2011
Mass in an old church like Tim Suttle described above reminds me of my childhood. I should go back one of these days.
11:25 AM on 02/09/2011
Thank you Tim for this article and Thanks be to God
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john1513
Ora et Labora
12:57 AM on 02/09/2011
Awesome. We pray for unity: One God, One Church, One Bread, One Body, One Faith.
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Craig 212
Tide goes in, tide goes out.
09:35 PM on 02/08/2011
The local Southern Baptist clergy here in Georgia preach that Catholics are going to hell because they worship Mary and not Jesus.

I always find the infighting between various denominations to be just as hilarious as it is bewildering.
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Catherine Alexander
02:59 PM on 03/16/2011
How sad, especially since, in fact, Catholics do not worship Mary.
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Catherine Alexander
04:03 PM on 03/16/2011
You think it's hilarious that a group of people preaches that another group of people are going to hell? What does that say about you?
12:25 PM on 02/08/2011
Tim, I loved your blog. I was once Episcopalian and converted a few years ago. I was so eager to experience receiving the Eucharist. One thing tha tI was told was that I could still join in the procession... and receive a blessing rather than the Eucharist. To do this, you simply cross your arms over your chest, and the Priest will put his hand on your forehead and give you a blessing. :)
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lrobb
Gold Standard = four paws and a tail
10:00 PM on 02/07/2011
It was unclear how the writer found tension between his evangelical beliefs and the Catholic liturgy. Having several evangelical friends, I can certainly guess.

Although I am an Atheist daughter of Atheist parents, I went to Catholic school from first through 12th grades. My parents thought they had the best curriculum and ethics. Being Jesuit influenced, my school taught me to examine my thought processes.

I have an intense sense of gratitude to my high school teachers--all of whom were "penguins" (nuns in habit)--who taught me how to think logically.

To this day, 45 years after my high school graduation, Christmas--which I celebrate as cultural heritage--cannot start before midnight Mass and a sufficient number of carols.
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syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
04:02 PM on 02/08/2011
Thank you for sharing your experiences and point of view. My husband is culturally Eastern Orthodox, but spiritually an atheist and he has some of the sentiments you do about Christmas and Easter as well, which is highly celebrated in Greece, where he is from.
01:32 PM on 03/16/2011
Also a 12 year Catholic school grad.
I just left the Catholic church. I am 56 years old. I can no longer tolerate the ignoring of women and more importantly, the way the sex abuse cases were handled.
I can not be part of an organization that protects child abusers.
I love the people in my former church. I hope to remain friends. I want a church that embraces me as a woman and welcomes what I have to offer. I have waited a long time for the church to do that. No more
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Catherine Alexander
03:05 PM on 03/16/2011
I will pray for you to find peace and consolation, Diane. I am a Catholic, and I, too, am deeply disturbed at the way members of our Church have handled the sex abuse scandal. It has helped me to remember that there was a scandal even among Jesus's inner circle; Judas was the ultimate betrayal, but his actions did not end the Church.

We have these sorts of scandals in our own families, but we do not give up on family. We have them in our marriages, but we do not give up on marriage. We have them in our nation, but we do not give up on America. Our Church is the Body of Christ, and to separate ourselves from the Body is itself a scandal.

Your disgust -- and mine -- is understandable, but no justification for ending the Church that Jesus gave His life for.
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ZenSufi
Sisters and Brothers of America!
06:34 PM on 02/07/2011
Be careful. You might become Catholic.
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Murphdogg
This micro-bio is literally a nano-bio on steroids
01:58 PM on 02/07/2011
Thanks Tim. I can promise you that the peace and tranquility are available "in the city" (wherever that city is) as well.
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John Camp
Husband/Pastor/Scholar
01:54 PM on 02/07/2011
There is a certain sensual appeal of the mass, but the theology behind it is so un-biblical that its heart breaking. The RCC opposed the translation of the bible into the vernacular, and continues to discourage Bible reading in favor of catechical study. It was the availability of the bible in vernacular languages that fueled the reformation far more than Luther (who posted the 95 thesis in Latin i.e. not to be read by the people).
12:24 PM on 02/08/2011
The discourage Bible reading because they want to present themselves as the true authority. The Bible says many things that would upset their basic structure of power and authority over people. It says that all Christians are priests, that they should call no one "Father" except God alone, and that they already have and advocate before God - Jesus.
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syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
04:38 PM on 02/08/2011
Do you call your own Dad your father? St. Paul called himself :"father." 1 Corinthians 4:14-15 and the related discussion. He considered the people he addressed his spiritual sons (where sonship has a specific spiritual meaning). What Protestants translate as "overseer" is from the Greek (I'll transliterate): episkopos --> bishop ("p" and "b" are the same sound except with b your vocal folds vibrate but with p they do not. The initial sound became lost over time as well as the final ending when English lost its case system). You can find the word used for an office in the early church as documented in the Bible, although there are other relevant documents as well such as collected in the Didache. E.g.: 1 Timothy 3:1-2; Titus 1:7; Clearly there are deacons as mentioned in the stoning of St. Stephen and many other places as an office that is conferred by the laying on of hands-- ἐπέθηκαv...χεῖρας is the verb+noun used. E.g. 1 Timothy 3:8 onward. The word is (transliterated) diakonos -- deacon. Men and women are deacons -- and the word "office of the church" is used. There are many citations for deacons. There are also priests: Presbyters-- that is the Greek. St. Peter refers to himself as Presbyter. In Eastern Orthodoxy, what is translated as priest is presbyter in Greek. "Royal priesthood" as in 1 Peter 2:9 is a different sense of priesthood, which we would agree all believers are given.
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Catherine Alexander
04:08 PM on 03/16/2011
CRParke, if you had ever been to Mass you would see what a ridiculous statement you have made. We spend half of every Mass on Scripture reading, and the homily is spend discussing one of the readings. Even the Eucharist comes straight from Scripture.
12:35 PM on 02/08/2011
Your proposition that the Church discourages Bible reading is silly. It encourages both the Bible and Catechises since the latter is founded on the Bible, Tradition, and a number of other texts like the Didache.
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Godfearing
Is it Birther NRA or NRA Birther?
12:01 PM on 02/07/2011
The words Priest - Catholic & Church brings up too many unhappy stories about Altar Boys and their mental and physical pain of serving.
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john1513
Ora et Labora
01:55 AM on 02/09/2011
Thank the media megaphone and anti-Catholic press. Sexual abuse has been found more prevalent among family members, teachers, protestant clergy, and rabbis than Catholic priests (Sexual Abuse in Social Context: Catholic Clergy and Other Professionals)

"the physical sexual abuse of students in schools is likely more than 100 times the abuse by priests."
- Charol Shakeshaft, U.S. Department of Education study (Educator Sexual Misconduct:
A Synthesis of Existing Literature)
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alterego55
Flash your citations or leave!
11:23 AM on 02/07/2011
Other than the medium, what is the difference between a sermon and a weekly blog?
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Bill J4321
03:41 PM on 02/07/2011
Only the amount of dollars generated.
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Catherine Alexander
03:17 PM on 03/16/2011
Catholics celebrate Mass every day. Offerings are only taken once a week. Most Masses do not involve any "dollars being generated."
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BobVADemHawk
Stony Creek News Service Exec. Prod.
05:41 PM on 02/07/2011
A sermon has a religious connotation to it. A weekly blog is not restrained by such.
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mydoghasfleas
Don't pursue happiness -- create it.
11:07 AM on 02/07/2011
"Mass in the city never contains this much tranquility and expectation."

I disagree. I find Mass in the city on a busy work day a calming respite from the noise of the world.
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Cranmer1549
Always bet on black.
10:55 AM on 02/07/2011
What is the point of this article?
10:46 PM on 02/08/2011
What is the point of your comment?