What are the odds that I would be placed in a position to live tweet more terrible relationship activities mere weeks after being witness to the worst first date of all time?
Slim to none, right? Well, I must have been a really good, yet nosy boy this year, because I was in a position once again to live tweet someone else's terrible situation and didn't pass that opportunity up.
I initially thought that this was a horrifically boring first date between two model looking people, but, out of the blue came break-up talk. What ended up happening was a back-and-forth 'end of a relationship' chat where the guy was a jerk and the woman put him in his place. He makes a poor effort to preserve his dignity, but it's a fail. SPOILER ALERT: He loses in the end.
And without further adieu, I present to you, the live tweets of a hot couple breaking up.
I probably should have been unbiased, but it seemed like the guy, who looked like an Abercrombie ad, was at fault, so I immediately sided with the woman, who verbally put boots to asses on this guy.
For Reference Here they are. I had to ugly them down with my face for legal purposes, but they only went from like 9's to 8.5's... cough: 
If you vote Team Guy, and I don't know why you would, I would recommend this as your reading background music:
If you vote Team Girl, I would recommend this:
TimRunsHisMouth 2:45PM
Does it get any more boring on a date than hearing the step-by-step process by which someone received their passport?
TimRunsHisMouth 2:46PM
I wont live tweet a bad date again, I WONT Live tweet a bad date again... Oh dammit...
TimRunsHisMouth 2:47PM
Guy to Girl, "I feel like the protagonist in most children's books wears red in a sea of gray." #deepthoughts
TimRunsHisMouth 2:49PM
I feel like the goal of this date is to bore the other person to sleep. LOOOOONG Periods of silence and staring.
TimRunsHisMouth 2:49PM
Guy to Girl after long period of silence, "I watched Harry Potter Twice this weekend, Friday Night and Last Night" #winning
TimRunsHisMouth 2:50PM
Girl to Guy, "I had a dance party Friday Night at 3am by myself."#matchmadeinheaven
TimRunsHisMouth 2:51PM
Why an alone-time dance party on Friday Night you ask? "I was supposed to go bowling, but my friends were sick"#ithoughtmylifesucked
TimRunsHisMouth 2:52PM
Oh no. This is a BREAK UP.... NOT A FIRST DATE! "I don't know if you and I are ready for each other for the long term." Guy to Girl
TimRunsHisMouth 2:53PM
I just want to point out that Daily Grind in Fells Point is a fantastic coffee shop to not break up in.
TimRunsHisMouth 2:54PM
"I just think it's ridiculous that you are telling me you bought me a Christmas Gift when you know we're broken up" Girl to Guy
TimRunsHisMouth 2:55PM
"Thanks for making plans for us when we are broken up... that's really F****n nice... we don't even text." Girl to Guy #livetweet #breakup
TimRunsHisMouth 2:56PM
These people who are breaking up are like 300x more attractive than me.
TimRunsHisMouth 2:57PM
"I just wasn't sure what we should do." -Guy "This conversation is basically bullshit at this point." -Girl #Boom
TimRunsHisMouth 2:58PM
"I dont want to be with a person who is disrespectful to me" -Girl This woman needed to talk to the Live First Date Tweet Woman #winning
TimRunsHisMouth 3:00PM
"You really need to think before you talk. I called you and you asked me 'Do You Wanna Talk?' Of Course Idiot! " -Girl #LayingtheSmackDown.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:02PM
If she finds out I'm live tweeting her break up, She's going to snap my neck. I'm all about her standing up for herself.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:02PM
So, without giving details...the guy would mock her and come down in front of her in front of her friends and family.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:04PM
Ladies, let this be a lesson to you. Male Abercrombie models are assholes. Stick with normal guys.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:04PM
Now the guy is struggling to come up with excuses as to why he was upset at her. She's smacking him to hell.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:05PM
"You have to think about the other person. You're all about yourself." -Girl to Guy I feel like I've been told the same thing #shame
TimRunsHisMouth 3:06PM
"One sorries, Two sorries, however many sorries. I've had enough." -Girl She needs to stomp out now to finish this, but she's too nice.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:06PM
Sorries is the plural of Sorry. And if not, it is now. Don't correct me.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:08PM
"I was just putting myself out there and you walked all over me" -Girl She needs to walk out on top. Leave Now! You've got this!
TimRunsHisMouth 3:09PM
"Not that I thought this would turn into something, but these are the things I think about. You're not the only one here." -Girl #winning
TimRunsHisMouth 3:10PM
"If this doesnt feel right for me, then I guess it wont work." -Guy who apparently isn't following my concise tweets from the girl.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:12PM
"I want to tell you everything's gonna be ok, but it's not." -Guy Duh dude. Live Tweeting the Break Up.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:14PM
"I like making other people happy, you dont." -Girl. Keeps digging that knife in.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:15PM
"I accommodate your schedule, I make you fucking dinner, Im nice to your friends, I try to be nice, I try to come to your stuff." -Girl
TimRunsHisMouth 3:15PM
"I try to come to your stuff too" -Guy "You don't though, because you shut off to me" -Girl #Ineedtomeetastrongwomanlikethis
TimRunsHisMouth 3:19PM
"You stare at me blankly half the time, like I'm speaking crazy talk...even in front of your friends." -Girl
TimRunsHisMouth 3:21PM
How many times can a woman hear the old "I can be better," line from a guy?
TimRunsHisMouth 3:23PM
"I have your navigation system, I can give it back to you." -Guy "I don't need it" -Girl "What if you're walking around the city?" #idiot
TimRunsHisMouth 3:24PM
Who says 'navigation' instead of GPS? Abercrombie models use classier words than me.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:27PM
Silence befalls the table adjacent to mine. The Abercrombie looking guy stares blankly at his now ex-gf and ponders his next pose. #letigre
TimRunsHisMouth 3:28PM
Post-Silence: "Alright, well let's meet up...in like a day" -Guy WHAT????!?!?!?
TimRunsHisMouth 3:29PM
"This sucks" -Guy Sometimes it takes watching a douchebag lose a good woman to realize how much of a douchebag you are. #introspection
TimRunsHisMouth 3:30PM
Right.... but I'm still going to keep live tweeting this awkward moment champ.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:31PM
"My mom is going to be upset." -Guy "I'm just telling you there aren't girls like me in this city" -Girl...WHO IS CORRECT. #uglybaltimore
TimRunsHisMouth 3:33PM
She brought Christmas gifts for his family too? Jeebus she's a nice person.... well today... She might kill babies when not dumping people
TimRunsHisMouth 3:34PM
Have to go to the bathroom. Going to ask them to watch my stuff for me...and try not to laugh while doing it.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:36PM
They did a good job. Nothing was stolen. In other news, one of us didn't wash his hands....
TimRunsHisMouth 3:40PM
Ok AND I just burst into laughter seeing the guy look as emotional as he can while listening to Eric Carmen's All By Myself
TimRunsHisMouth 3:42PM
And they just left..silently. The Abercrombie guy blankly staring off. In fairness, he might be smart... yeah right.
TimRunsHisMouth 3:45PM
Here...this very spot...is where love died. Or something. Happy HOLIDAYS!
TimRunsHisMouth 3:47PM
Ok What the hell was I intending to do today?
TimRunsHisMouth 3:49PM
Oh and one more thing, unlike the livetweet of the worst first date, this Woman needed no pep talk. She knew she was above it.