More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Tina Sloan

GET UPDATES FROM Tina Sloan
 

Kissing Is My Favorite Sport

Posted: 06/24/10 05:37 PM ET

It has been said that to truly know a man you must sleep in his bed and eat at his table. That he can hide himself otherwise. But I have always believed a man's kiss is the clue to who he really is -- how forceful, decisive, thoughtful, weak, shy, or kind. A kiss is a very personal stamp and in my vault of kisses the memory of one or two men stands out. The energy passed back and forth between two people in a kiss can change your feelings entirely about one another. A marvelous date where ideas are exchanged, or you've played tennis or in some wonderful inexplicable way touched one another can be wiped out by a wet sloppy kiss. All the things one wants on the surface in a man: looks, brains, wealth, have utterly no relevance if the kinetic life force does not work.

I find this very upsetting and yet true. All that should matter doesn't if you are not touched by the kiss. A man you may have felt was dull, boring can simply kiss those thoughts away. And that is right. The kiss is a truer validation of the goodness, brightness or better rightness of one being for another. A kiss has made me want to see someone again, someone who had not interested me by his conversation, or hobbies. I had been fooled by the outer man; the kiss was the true man and he was someone interesting.

As a woman I have kissed men I liked, as an actress I have kissed men I didn't like -- some who were gay, some who were happily married -- and always the kiss revealed the power, or strength, or weakness.

Is it instinct or learned? My son at two years old possessed instinct. He came to me and said, "I give Mommy a red kiss," and planted a kiss directly on my mouth. He then warned me not to wipe it off and toddled back to his cars and trucks. The instinct to kiss a woman when she's not expecting it, to make it interesting (red, no less) and then to be strong about it (don't wipe it off) was a great gift of his love.

His father has given me blue, pink, orange, and purple kisses as well as vacuum kisses and silly kisses. All in all, kissing is my favorite hobby.

 
 
 

Follow Tina Sloan on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@tinasloan

It has been said that to truly know a man you must sleep in his bed and eat at his table. That he can hide himself otherwise. But I have always believed a man's kiss is the clue to who he really is --...
It has been said that to truly know a man you must sleep in his bed and eat at his table. That he can hide himself otherwise. But I have always believed a man's kiss is the clue to who he really is --...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 9
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Recency  | 
Popularity
01:28 PM on 06/28/2010
Always remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is but a sigh
Extraordinary things apply, as time goes by
And when two lovers meet they still dance cheek to cheek
On that you can rely
The world will always welcome lovers, as time goes by
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DrMiaRose
Author, Psychologist and Wellness Coach
05:43 AM on 06/28/2010
Kissing transports you to another world – one that is occupied only by lips, tongues and the scrumptious sensations generated by an ocean of sensory apparatus. Mouths are packed with nerve endings and remarkably responsive, which is why a good kiss gets your knees trembling, your heart racing and your groin aching.

Our appetite for kissing seems to have its roots in mother love. It is believed that long ago, mothers fed their babies by transferring food mouth-to-mouth, like birds. Yet there is more to mouth-to-mouth intimacy than simple nourishment. Ancient lovers believed that a kiss would literally unite their souls. Spirit was said to be carried in one’s breath, and in kissing, lovers could taste each other’s soul.

Lovers often say that kissing somebody is more intimate than having sex. Tantrics and Taoists believe that the upper lip reigns supreme when it comes to the erogenous zones of a woman.

At its best, kissing allows you to overcome past inhibitions, to experiment, to display what is private and expose what we normally protect. Simultaneously, a kiss transports you beyond yourself to connect deeply with a lover's soul.

Mia Rose
http://www.better-sex-4-women.com
05:11 PM on 06/27/2010
I really do agree with you I love to kiss my husband. Eventhough I only prefer to kiss mouth open when we are intimate with eachother, every now and then I will lay a nice one on him before we go about our day, truly if he would not have been a good kisser ,as well as many other things,
we would not have been together for as long as we have been. I am also a good kisser, and I know just how much to put on it and when, and he follows right through with his portion I have had bad experiences with kissing as well, the sloppy,too wet, or too anxious they were all truly turn-offs. I think it comes natural to most people, and some people it don't.
02:56 PM on 06/26/2010
My favorite kisser was an alcoholic and ultimately not very good to me. There is nothing like a good kisser - he opens up the gates, ignites passion, invites love, evokes electricity, but in the long run a kiss is just a kiss. I sincerely wish I did not believe this, but unfortunately I do.
04:28 PM on 06/25/2010
A kiss tells you nothing about a man. You know what tells you something about a man- his behavior. Women make such a big deal about inference when the direct evidence is in front of them and they choose to ignore it.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jdaddy1951
11:35 AM on 06/25/2010
No question, for true love of any kind, there has to be a physical attraction. I've told each of my seven kids that. But there also has to be more --- an ability to stay the course, to accept that people will evolve over time, an ability to laugh, even when the same jokes start to recycle themselves. There also has to be an ability to communicate in silence. All of this takes time and can't be found in that first kiss.

I believe in love at first sight. I also believe in taking time to nurture love through a season of courtship. And that applies to all people, gay, straight, old, young, male, female and everything in between.
08:17 PM on 06/24/2010
Chemistry. It's all about the chemistry. Looks, likes, and kisses. Great post, Tina! Always enjoy yours.
07:49 PM on 06/24/2010
Maybe sad, but true. If souls do not kiss, bodies will not, either.
06:44 PM on 06/24/2010
I LOVE Tina Sloan's writings! She always has an interesting, unique and whimsical take on life!