A Meatless Thanksgiving

When we moved into our renovated house in late October 2005 I said to my husband, "We should host Thanksgiving this year." We finally had a real dining room after living in our shoebox on the Upper West Side.

"No one will come," he said.

I knew he was right. No one wants a turkey-less Thanksgiving. I resigned myself to a meal at someone else's house, cringing at the sight of a gravy-dripping bird proudly displayed in the center of a dining room table.

It was either that or dinner for three, which my husband, daughter and I did one year.

This year there's a twist in the family drama. Various dysfunctions among siblings, parents and even a friend prevent others from hosting. My dining room will be christened for Thanksgiving. What I'm most grateful for is the chance to gather nearly a dozen people for a meat-less harvest meal.

I stopped eating meat 30 years ago, the day I arrived at college. The decision was not borne of some great moral struggle, though I've always had a deep, abiding love for animals. I eat cheese and eggs. I never saw vegetarianism as a movement or something to broadcast, much less proselytize about.

Now I do.

Now I know far too much to hope only my husband (a vegetarian since we got together a decade ago) and my seven-year-old daughter will follow my lead. Now I hope to convince as many humans as I can to think about the connection between what they eat and how it was raised. I want to do whatever I'm able to connect the dots between E-coli and factory farming. I'm urging everyone I come in contact with to watch the documentary "Food Inc," even though I spent a good portion of it crouching behind the seat, cupping my ears.

Food Inc. showed me I had work to do. I hadn't made the connection that cheese I'd been buying at stores like Whole Foods might be made with milk from factory-farm cows. That next Thursday, I found a local cheese artisan, Shepherd Valley of New Jersey, at my town's farm market. During the weekend, my family visited this amazing sheep farm that is responsible for the most delicious, grass-fed cheese. The butter I bought at their farm store showed me I had no idea what real butter tastes like.

I read egg cartons as carefully as I read bank statements. I know free-range and cage-free and all that marketing hullabaloo does not insure laying hens are living a humane existence. I try my best. Sometimes the twee farmy name on the cartoon makes me reach for a particular brand. Until I stop procrastinating and raise chickens (which I've been swearing to do since I moved to a big piece of land in suburbia) I will not be satisfied that I'm eating ethically-grown eggs.

We live with so many disconnects. So much about how we live and what we're exposed to makes us feel powerless. Eating is an exception. Eating is the great equalizer. I can be conscious about every food I choose or reject. With every trip to the health food store or farm market or the farm out yonder I can teach my daughter she never ever has to set foot in an A&P. Or more importantly, what she eats has a story. And every story has something to do with dirt or a tree or an animal. And she has a place in this cycle of life.

I'm already anticipating a few wise cracks over the dinner table on Thanksgiving. Just for sport, you know. I could launch into a lecture on how turkeys have been so genetically modified that they are incapable of natural reproduction. Or I can cook up a harvest feast of my husband's home-made breads, creamy potato leek soup, sweet potato fries, fresh salads and other vegetables dishes that will leave everyone just as stuffed and overfed as they would otherwise be.

If I'm really lucky, right before we gather around the table before dusk, someone will notice the sound of crunching leaves outside the window. The kids will run over first and squeal with delight at the brood of wild turkeys pecking at the lawn. The rest of us will not be able to resist watching these iridescent feathery creatures pursuing subsistence.

I love these birds. They are always a great source of pleasure and humor. But on Thanksgiving, I will raise my glass to them and whisper "lucky you."

 

Comments

[SiddhaliShree]

Thanks for posting and addressing Vegetarianism for Thanksgiving here on Huffington Post. To my surprise there were not too many similar articles on it, but maybe I did not search long enough. I feel that there are many other vegetarian options to have instead of turkey. Over 45 million turkeys are killed for Thanksgiving alone!
Although my recent blog post addressing this issue comes from a spiritual stand-point and a focus from non-violence, I believe we all need to raise awareness about animal cruelty and awareness for all living beings. For those of who you may want to read my recent post which contains a http://PETA.org video, please click here: http://siddhalishree.com/Spiritual-Section/Spiritual-Venting/vegetarian-thanksgiving-day-save-a-turkey-soul.html

[ArthurTwoShedsJackson]

Reminded me of an article I read online last year:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/169906

One vegetarian decided to blow off Thanksgiving to go to Australia with friends instead; it was too stressful to deal with incredulous family carnivores:

"I think we might have spent less time talking about what we were thankful for, than 'What is Lorraine going to eat?'" says 25-year-old Lorraine Woodcheke from San Francisco. She's skipping out on Thanksgiving altogether this year, leaving this weekend for Australia. On Thanksgiving Day, she'll be climbing the Sydney Harbor Bridge. "I never considered skipping any holiday with my family before," she says. "In a way, I'm sad to miss it, but at the same time, its just nice that I'm going to do my own thing and nobody has to change what they're doing."

[cybermome1207]

My daughter who is in college is vegan. We have an organic turkey and pretty much everything else is vegan. She makes stuffing that is brown rice with dried fruit and seitan. She carmelizes the veggies and adds the seitan. its yummy

[whalepeace]

What cruel and unenlightened piece of real estate do you live on that no one will come to a compassionate Thanksgiving. My house will be full of people happy to enjoy a vegetarian­/vegan/raw Thanksgiving. A neighbor who is hosting dinner was planning on cooking a dead turkey, but then found out most of their guests would be vegetarian and they are adjusting their menu accordingly. It's part of what makes us happy to live here on the Left Coast!

[Tina Traster - Huffpost Blogger]

Is there a house for sale in your neighborhood?
Tina Traster

[dora rice]

gravy dripping bird? Gravy is not necessary and if you make gravy it doesn't have to be ladden with fat. Quit spoiling it for the rest of us, nothing but sitting around a bird , having a happy family time.
Tuerky is pretty much healthy meat and if you don't over eat you are just fine. Also sweet potatoes or yams, especially the home cooked type not out of the can, are very healthy food. Green beens made with tiny pieces of bacon instead of starchy soup are also healthy and tasty. So quit spoiling a happy family gathering for the rest of us, it won't work. To fill your family's tommy , and have a great time, is more healthy then a plate of rabbit food. (salad)

[jfoxx]

Somehow you have managed to make this all about you and your self-image. The author is not talking about whether turkey will make you gain weight and add unsightly girth to your waistline. Read it again.

[MyVesta]

Sorry, English is not my first language, what is a family's "tommy"?

[Kayla Coleman]

As Thanksgiving looms, I grow more anxious about eating with my (mostly) Turkey-gorging family. I do not use these gatherings to lecture people about the intelligence of and tragic cruelty towards turkeys, but I will be bringing lots of sumptuous cruelty-free, all-natural dishes for myself and my family members to indulge in and enjoy.

[MyVesta]

You're probably fortunate that you have "understanding" relatives who don't hassle you, year upon year. I have in-laws (many extended family) who consistently used Thanksgiving as an occasion to belittle me and my beliefs. For several years, I would try to laugh it off. But there was always one of my spouse's cousins who was almost pathological in his attacks.

Last year, I decided Thanksgiving was going to be different. We arrived, not long into the day, the jibing started ... I asked quite playfully, "so you think it's OK, killing animals like that? that doesn't bother you at all" They were all, "No! of course not.' laughing.

I said, "OK. What about this" I went directly to the TV and put the Meet Your Meat DVD on. Aside from the screams of the animals, you could have heard a pin drop. It only played for a few moments before his wife removed it. Awkward, yes. Triumphant, double yes.

The rest of the day was fine, a little tense, but no bullsh*t about how big the turkey was and how much it must have struggled, etc. (a usual joke for them).

We've been invited back this year. I don't know if I'll go or not.

[khanti]

For those still find a Thanksgiving tdinner turkey necessary. Please just give a short prayer to the turkey on your table after the Lord's prayer.
Thank the turkey for its forced sacrifice.
May it be in the Heaven with the Lord,
as it had done nothing wrong,
but provided for us.

[JulianMarin]

Although I respect you for your beliefs, I can't stress the importance of a great Thanksgiving feast for Thanksgiving to truly be special for my family and I. A Thanksgiving feast is usually highlighted with a crackly, delicious roast turkey. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sorry, but animals that are dumb enough to drown when it rains, well, you get my point (I don't feel bad to eat them).

[khanti]

Chickens that are kept in cages when released will just stay at the same place. Humans caged for years since young will also lose sense of mobility when released. It is our doing that caused these animals to be like that. There is nothing wrong for a family to enjoy a sumptious meal with turkey or lamp as the main course.
We made them dumb by our greed so what else is dumb that deserved to be eaten? Some humans are born mentally handicaped and are dumb?

[JohnFromCensornati]

That's a great story.

I became a vegetarian about 20 years ago. I did that out of self-interest. Not for the animals and not for the earth. Now I believe those are just as important. I shudder to think how brainwashed I was about eating meat.

[Kayla Coleman]

I applaud you on being vegetarian and for not giving in to Thanksgiving temptations with your family, however, if you truly want to live a thriving, natural, environmen­tally-frie­ndly life--go vegan! The cheese and dairy you continue to eat, even if from a local farm, is part of a cycle of using animals, and one that is unnecessary and often cruel--even on the cutest farms. Whenever animals are used to make money, they are mistreated.

JulianMari­n--althoug­h I know that your stance on the matter is a popular one, I hope that one day, something will make you realize that violence and murder is nothing to celebrate, no matter what the holiday. Gathering around a dead, mutilated, rotting corpse is no way to spend time with the family--sounds more like Halloween than Thanksgiving! Especially when there are so many other fresh, seasonal, gorgeous fall foods to eat that are delicious, decadent, and will nourish the bodies of the people you love. As for Turkeys being dumb? A common mis-conception given how they are often portrayed.­..however, Turkeys are social, aware, playful, and have tremendous learning potential-­-unfortuna­tely we breed them dumb, cut off there life span, and make them so fat they cannot fly and barely walk. Not to mention the bare facts that turkeys are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, bleeding, fearful, sentient beings who want to live--just like us.

[edejan]

Fanned and thank you for stating this bare truth so eloquently.

[Kayla Coleman]

Sorry JohnFromCenstornati that wasn't supposed to be directed at you, just a general post. It was my first time posting a comment and I messed up and did it as a reply to yours.

[MyVesta]

Beautifully written. Thanks.