Calling all Astrologers

01/14/2007 01:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Dear Astrologers,

You know better than most, this is one nutty world.

So, I'm asking for a favor here. Won't take too much effort on your part. Honestly, it's probably nothing you haven't done before.

Two words: Subliminal advertising.

See, while the world keeps slowly simmering in its climate change, while the un-seasonal 70 degree weather covers the east coast and the drought expands across Australia, we just keep on forging ahead, eating our nachos, watching the playoffs, while wondering what nutty thing's gonna go down on the next "24."

But, we still have our spirituality, don't we?

That's why I'm talking to you. Now come on, astrologers, this is an important mission. A once in a star-chart opportunity. People listen to you. They buy lottery tickets, change their hair color, and call old lovers in the middle of the night for one reason: because you say the time is right.

Here's the thing you have to tell them:

The time is right.

You don't have to mention that NASA scientist telling us we only have ten years to get emissions under control, you don't have to quote that report by the former chief economist from the World Bank saying that climate change will be worse than World War II and The Great Depression combined. Nobody expects that kind of science fair mumbo jumbo from you, so just don't get into it.

All you have to say is "Do something." Say, "Aries, log onto" or "Capricorns, check out" or "Hey Libras, email your brand new blue congressman about climate change. Do it Libra! Do it now!"

That's it.

And then, just watch. Once you get the message out there, change will start happening. You know it will. You inspire more people than Al Gore does and - for good or bad - that's the world we're living in.

So, come on. You were born for this, right? This is your destiny, isn't it?

And if you guys won't help, seriously, I'm calling the pope.

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