WASHINGTON D.C.- In a dramatic new twist on grassroots organizing, an estimated sexagintillion raindrops marched on the nation's capitol this week to protest global warming. Park Police and Capitol Police were caught by surprise and -- woefully understaffed to deal with the protesters -- could only observe while raindrops trampled public property, flooded lawns, and in one disturbing act of pointed political violence, toppled a 140-year-old elm tree on the White House lawn.
Although meteorologists had warned that this movement was growing, neither the President nor anyone in his administration had prepared for a demonstration of this scale. "I'm not surprised. It's just like 9/11," said one spectator, "Back then, Bush had warnings about terrorists and he did nothing. I mean, if he won't listen to terrorism advisor Richard Clarke, why do we think he's going to listen to the weatherman about global warming?"
Apparently equally upset with the right wing's refusal to act on climate change, a surprisingly strong amount of wind joined in the demonstration, felling a tree to block the street where a Republican fundraiser was scheduled. "The wind and the rain were completely out of control. They had no permits, they had no spokespeople, frankly it was just anarchy." said Capitol Hill policeman Brian Sheridan.
A large number of raindrops were ultimately rounded up and held in an aqueduct on the Northwest side of town, though the vast majority eluded capture, snarling traffic and flooding exit ramps throughout the metropolitan area. "They have no conscience, no morality. You bet they're going to strike again," said Officer Sheridan.
"I don't have a lot of sympathy for the demonstrators," said local resident Rebecca Knox. "I remember the old Sun Day protests in the eighties, when Jackson Browne sang about solar power. That was just so much nicer."