THE BLOG
07/11/2013 02:18 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Becoming Vivian

The other night Vivian told me about something that I found extremely humorous. On the way home from the Columbus Clippers game, a friend was giving Vivian a ride to her car and said, "Jeff, are you parked on the street? Calling you 'Jeff' just seems so weird. Earlier today I got a message from Jeff, and I was like, 'Who is Jeff? Oh, it's Vivian.'"

Vivian's response was just as funny: "Yeah, even Tom calls me 'Vivian' more than 'Jeff.'"

This got me thinking: When did Jeff become Vivian?

There wasn't one specific day when this happened; it was more of an evolution over the past four years. The more Vivian performed and become known throughout Columbus, the more Jeff became Vivian. Now, when I say, "Jeff became Vivian," I'm not referring to his actions or his personality but to how others, including me, see him. Almost all our friends refer to Jeff as "Vivian," and with female pronouns, when we are out. I find this quite funny, for a few different reasons. One is that Jeff is a big boy, and there is nothing feminine about him. Another is that never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I would be married to a drag queen. The last reason that I find it humorous is that I don't feel that Vivian is really all that popular. I mean, I know that people know who Vivian is, but to me, that is not the same as popularity. It seems that I may be underestimating Vivian's popularity.

Another interesting thing is that the more Jeff becomes Vivian, the less he answers to "Jeff." As I said before, whenever I need to get Jeff's attention lately, he answers more quickly to "Vivian" than to "Jeff." It's a good thing that all our friends know about Vivian, because if they didn't, it would be interesting seeing me explain why I'm referring to Jeff as "Vivian." Jeff hardly even uses his boy Facebook page anymore; most of the time he is signed in to Vivian's account. I will say that Vivian seems to be able to post things that I don't think Jeff ever could. People really seem to enjoy Vivian's perspective; little do they know that this is something I have to live with 24/7.

Four years ago, when Vivian first made her debut in the drag world, I never thought this would happen. I mean, I knew it happened; I just didn't think it would happen to us. It will be interesting what the future holds for Jeff Vivian.

This blog post originally appeared on Diary of a Drag Queen's Husband.