Oceanfront Property In Kansas

I need to share a wonderful story I recently heard about cancer and death. I am sure you are wondering how I could use the words wonderful, cancer and death in the same sentence. I think that after you hear this story you will agree that in this case it's an appropriate combination of words.

A woman who was dying of cancer told her friend she was very sad that she would never get to go to the beach again. She was too weak to travel the 4 or 5 hours from her home to the ocean. When several of her friends heard she had said that, they decided to do something about it.

On a Saturday afternoon in June while her family kept her distracted and away from the windows, the plan took shape. The friends dumped three tons of white beach sand in her driveway. After the sand was spread about, out came the two cabanas, beach balls, pails, shovels, boogie boards, beach chairs, a variety of decorations and a fire pit for the bonfire on the beach at night. They even rented a sno-cone machine since it had gotten to the point where flavored ice was about all she was able to eat. There were two CDs playing. One was the sound of waves breaking on the beach and the other alternated between The Beach Boys and Jimmy Buffett.

When all was in place, her daughter brought her out to her beach where she was greeted by a few dozen friends dressed in flowered shirts. She came out of the house with some new flip-flops and a beach bag (where else would a beach going cancer patient keep her morphine drip).

I am told that all in attendance only teared up for a moment. The day was filled with grins and laughs. The guest of honor was also given a squirt gun and allowed to squirt anyone at the beach party at will. The day ended with a fire on the beach and s'mores for everyone. The woman died two weeks later, but made it out to her beach four or five more times.

I guess the moral of this story is when someone is in need, try to think outside of the box for a way to help. And the next time someone tries to sell you some oceanfront land in Kansas, you might want to at least check it out.

Comments

[midwesthousewife]

Thank you, Tom, for this anecdote. How lucky the woman to have people like you to give her such a lovely goodbye gift. And how lucky for us to be reminded of how we might help ease another's sadness.

[TomGerdy]

Pandu,

I am so sorry that you missed the whole point. It must be nice thinking that you know the best way to go, but don't let it cause you to be quick to judge others. The reality is that I was there and she was a dear friend. As a child she lived near the ocean and that was one of her peaceful places. I told it as if it was second hand because I wanted it to be about reaching out to others and not about a writer's experience. I respect that you have a faith that may not align with mine, but it is yours and not mine. It's yours and not hers.

[Pandu]

Death is something every one of us must face. It's not about your friend. How are we going to do it? "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die?"

In Bhagavad-gita 2.13, Krishna says, "As the embodied soul continuously passes in this body from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death. A sober person is not bewildered by such a change."

Maybe you don't believe that the soul passes to another body at death, but it's hard to argue with the recommendation to be in clear consciousness. I'm sure your party was fun, and your friend was very pleased. But of course the party is over, and your friend is gone. Knowing that the passage of time ends all material things, a wise person prepares for the inevitable, educating oneself to approach death with knowledge and thereby make the most of the event.

I like discussing these kinds of things. If you don't, then maybe it's better not to write an article about preparing for death. You suggest that you have some kind of faith related to death, so why not share it? If it's good, maybe it will help others. This is how people learn from each other. On the other hand, dismissing someone's educated faith without understanding it is a good way to learn nothing.

[Pandu]

Cute story, but desiring sense gratification up to the time of death isn't exactly the best way to go. To know that death is coming soon is a tremendous blessing. That time should be spent preparing for what comes after. Maybe she'll take her next body as a sea gull or some other beach creature.

"Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, O son of Kunti, that state he will attain without fail." http://bhagavadgitaasitis.com/8/6/en

[geobushono]

about 35 years ago, coming off a 4 year fascination with austere Indian Philosophy, my dearest friend lost her cat and I gave her a similar response as your post.

We can't relive the moment, but it has, for me, been a meditation on the Middle Path. Om Shanti, Pandu.

[PlanetKansas]

Actually, there used to be an ocean where Kansas is today. The entire prairie was formed when an ancient sea bed dried up, and it looks it. I've found limestone fossils in my backyard.