Sean Penn's Suit Against the Mormons
Just a few days ago I bought a suit Sean Penn wore during his Academy Award winning performance in MILK. For the highest bid to two charities (Variety, The Children's Charity of Southern California and New York's Hetrick-Martin Institute, home of Harvey Milk High School), I won the coveted clothing Penn's Harvey Milk wore the night he defeated Prop 6 in November of 1978.
Prop 6 - and all initiatives that treat homosexuals as a lower class of people are counter-evolutionary. In today's globally green-aware world, any pairing that does not produce children is important in the biological mix. Over population, not sex is the critical issue today. This danger of a population out of control darkly looms over countless scientific models; but scientific sense never prevails against fundamentalism, the Pope, or rapture.
Three years ago I bid and won the two shirts worn in Brokeback Mountain which were poetically seen throughout the film's emotional end. I'm happy to be their steward. If inanimate things have power, these shirts glow. Focus Features had donated these important artifacts to Variety of Southern California for their charity auction. When I gave the check to Variety, Eric Carr from Focus delivered the iconic western shirts. That was three years ago. Last year Focus produced MILK.
Just days ago I was once more exchanging emails with Eric about when we could meet at my Beverly Hills home for the latest handover - last Friday was the day. Before he even walked into the house he handed me the see-through valet bag that held the suit. I crooned, oooooo-ed, ahhh-ed, and wooowwww-ed at the symbol I held in my hand.
Eric and I talked about Sean Penn's effort to secure a "Harvey Milk Day," and the irony of the ridiculous fiasco that is today's Prop 8. "Funded by the Mormons mostly", Eric said as he smiled the kind of smile only a frustrated warrior understands. "Yep" I said. "Well my partner and I gave more money to defeat Prop 8 than another person in the campaign," I boasted as I rolled my eyes. Eric offered his consoling, "Thanks.... and sorry for all of us." Then I ended with my usual left-field line, "I have no need for any religion. I know where I'm going after I die. I'm going to my eternal plot near Marilyn Monroe." "You're serious? "That's creepy but cool." Eric said, then he hummed a "wow" as his brain sparked a flash of his own mortality. We chatted about cremation vs. burial, squeamish things, Marilyn Monroe, and the rest of the infamous neighbors I'll have at my fashionable, final, verdant reward. "Yep, that's better than any old street paved with gold," we agreed. We shared a heavy sigh. "Thanks Tom. I'll see you next time Focus sells a gay costume." "Ha! Funny Eric. You know, we will win this fight...eventually the courts will see it our way, I'm telling you, the church is all silliness and fear," I said. "Bye" "See ya." I closed the front door behind him.
I walked back into the living room where I assembled the suit back into its protective bag. I threw it over my shoulder and took my first steps towards the suit's temporary home in my upstairs closet. As I passed my front door I heard the distinctive Knock-knock, of someone who had just realized he had left his hat, cell phone, or car keys behind. I opened it, saying "Eric" what'd you for...get....tttt."
Standing before me like a vision from Déjà vu hell were two young men clad in dark suits, white shirts and boring ties. "Hello" they said. "Yes?", I said as I bucked up for the smack of irony that about to was about to knock the wind out of me. "We're missionaries from the church of Mormon, we'd like some of your time to talk with you about eternal peace." My mouth dropped in a thud of silence. I felt like Bette Davis in JEZEBEL when her lover (Henry Fonda) returns not with a bouquet of flowers but his new wife. "You're kidding me, right? Who put you up to this? You're Funnin' !" I exclaimed. "No we're from the church of Mormon" they said as they handed me a brochure with happy glassy-eyed white people plastered all over the front.
Except for Prop 8, my whole life I've managed to avoid this front door encounter. I'd heard they did this door-to-door canvassing, but wow. Now Mormons stood proselytizing at the threshold of gay activism, begging me for my time and my soul. I wanted them gone--away, as far away as they could go for the rest of my life. "Ummm well you see this suit here is, well it's my ...errr...boss' suit, and see, I um, I don't live here, and in fact I gotta take this suit to him now, cause well. He needs it, for an event." "Where do YOU live?", they characteristically forcefully inquired. I was into my knee-jerk lie too deep. I thought it was time to hit them with some man-to-man common sense. "Well, um, truth is, I'm very happy, I'm atheist -- in fact I get hate mail from the religious right all the time." "I can't believe you two guys actually believe this line of silliness your church sells. Why don't you have some fun for a change?" I asked. "Doing our church's work is more than fun, it's joyous. It's not silliness, it's the route to salvation and eternal life." "Eternal life? What an awful burden," I retorted. Then I stated my dogma that there is no heaven or hell therefore they'd be best to leave me alone. "But what about Bernie Madoff?" they asked. "What?" I asked. "Yes we're in this neighborhood because Bernie Madoff must have impacted you in some way. Do you know anyone in the neighborhood who might be interested in talking with us?" They were as wide-eyed and as diabolical as any Mormon can be. "Well," I said, "Madonna lives up the street and Michael Jackson lives around the corner. Madoff or no Madoff, this is a rough neighborhood for your kind of malarkey." Then I slammed the door and marched upstairs, emboldened by Sean Penn's suit and Harvey Milk's spirit which I knew was still very much alive.
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The Mormon/LDS thing annoys me, I know its semantics but, the church is being dishonest with people the church knows that Mormons have a bad name and instead of tring to improve it they change their name.
Not true. The LDS church did not change its name (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), but has had to make a deliberate effort to remind people that "Mormon" is a nickname (created by outsiders). It has NEVER has been the name of the church.
FYI the LDS missionaries would have said the following:
"Hi, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints."
The blogger has a good excuse for not remembering what they said; he was in total shock and the name of their church is rather long.
Rose, a life-long non-Mormon living in Utah.
My late father who lived on a farm in rural New Hampshire had a sense of humor with the monthly knocks on the door by the Mormon's. He put them to work. He always answered the door saying he had a farm to run and if they wanted to discuss their ideas--they had to accompany him while he worked. It took 3 full summers of white shirt clad men working the gardens or fields before they wised up and stopped knocking.
Tom,
I am an active Mormon and enjoyed your article. I had a good laugh. You were just telling your story and I think you did it in good taste.
Thanks for being agreeably disagreeable. :o)
This guy is what helps to give Mormons a bad rap. Mormon Missionaries do not use this kind of terminology. They don't refer to themselves as "from the church of Mormons". Please keep your reporting accurate instead of making up stories that could give readers false ideas. It's just not the right thing to do!!!
No, he isn't what gives mormons a bad rap. They quite capable of that themselves and, while I agree that they don't belong to "churches", you're whining about a distinction w/o a difference.
BTW - He's not a reporter. This is a blog.
Actually as one who has plenty of experience with door knocking, an LDS missionary would never say that. They would never start a conversation that way.
It was a somewhat funny story though.
Their missionaries will be reluctant to tell you that, according to their religion, Jesus was a polygamist. Beware false prophets.
How do we know this guy is lying? Lookie here: "We're missionaries from the church of Mormon, we'd like some of your time to talk with you about eternal peace."
No Morman missionaries would say that. they always refer to the church as LDS, Latter day Saints. He knows that. It's a deliberate clue.
Why do they lie about their temples and call them "churches"?
Me? I'm a big fan of shock value.
These guys seem to like my neighborhood and at least once a month I see them knocking on doors. I got tired of them bugging me so the next time they showed up, I open the door real fast. When they started on their spiel, I interrupted them and said I had my boyfriend handcuffed to my bed. I then asked them if either one had any candles handy cuz he likes wax on his nipples and I couldn't find mine.
I wish I had a camera on me to take of pic of their eyes goggling out of their heads...
PS...they haven't been back since!
You should have invited them in for a drink.
That would have been funny.
Once in my youth, I was staying overnight at a friend's house who made costumes. The Rocky Horror costumes were arranged all over her living room.
Loud knocking on the door woke me an an ungodly hour, it was 2 Mormons.
I angrily opened the door wide so that they could see the fright costumes and said, 'WE WORSHIP FATHER SATAN HERE. GO!" They backed all the way to the street, speechless.
I felt bad about that, up until prop 8. Now I feel exonerated!
Being a gay, return missionary myself, I have to make a comment on how those elders addressed themselves at your door. If they did, in fact, say that they were from "The Church of Mormon" you were being Punk'd and you should expect to see video footage of your reaction someday.
Mormons are taught from a very young age that the only name of the church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" and when I went through my 2 month missionary training, they hammered this point in incessantly. "Mormons" (nicknamed after Mormon, the last white prophet in the Americas who abridged The Book of Mormon before being hacked to pieces by the injuns) refer to themselves as "LDS".
No member would ever refer to the church as "The Church of Mormon'. That means Gregory was either 'Punk'd" as you say or he is just making the whole story up. I believe the latter.
I agree. The whole thing sounds awefully contrived and intentionally skewed.
Holding that suit in your hand - and lying to avoid telling the truth to the two missionaries is the best you can come up with? Have some courage! You don't need to be rude, but you can be as honest as they are - they tell you their way of life and how they think it right - you tell them yours, and why you find them incredibly wrong.
Have you ever tried?
It doesn't sound like it.
Of course, he probably didn't want to talk to them. Who cares what they believe? Why should they care what he believes? That's what it boils down to. Save the susperstitious nonsense for the people who walk into the temple and ask for it.
The moment your beliefs trample my rights, I am in position to defend my well being and what I stand for. Or not?
And yes, I am in position of discriminating against religions, especially at my home.
I hope I get the chance to slam my door in their white, delusional faces.
Proposition 8 is immoral, its supporters are immoral, and Inhumane, and Arbitrary, and ultimately un-american. Swallow that homophobes.
I was skimming your article and got to the part about "door-to-door canvassing." For a second, I thought you might be referring to Obama volunteers. A lot of people spent a lot of time canvassing for Obama just like those kids. Thank goodness most of the people I met going door-to-door were more polite than the people on this blog. Heaven forbid we act politely to someone that has a differing opinion, and is willing to put time an energy into what they believe.
What I want to know is where all the No on 8 people were before November 4th. Where were the thousands of gay people and friends getting out there canvassing and phone banking? I'm not surprised Prop 8 passed. And I'm tired of hearing people whine about it when they didn't DO anything BEFORE Nov. 4. Put some energy into getting it changed. Give the kids a break.
Did it ever occur to you that those "thousands of gay people and friends" were doing the same thing that you were? It might interest you to know that the GOP is not gay friendly. Gay people wanted a Dem in the White House. And, BTW, I'm sure the mormons didn't call up the HRC and notify them that they would be bankrolling the Prop H8 campaign.
They weren't in my neighborhood. No signs, no people at the Farmer's market, nothing. But I did see plenty of Yes on 8 signs. And the Prop 2 people were at the farmer's market every weekend in the spring and summer. I saw them because I was there registering voters and giving away Obama gear.
I know the GOP is not gay friendly. I'm a democrat. I volunteered for Obama and voted no on 8. And I knew in July, from reading HuffPo, that Mormon people were backing prop 8. I also am friends with Mormon people right here in California that also voted No on 8.
Differing opinions are one thing, a massive campaign to take away the rights of citizens, granted by a supreme court mind you, is quite another. The NO on 8 people were trying to raise enough money to air advertising that was truthful, I can't say that about the opposition using school children on a parent approved field trip to a wedding. Why should people have to canvass & phone bank for equal rights & marriage equality??? Give me a break!
Tom, please contact me at wordnative@yahoo.com and let me tell you my story of letting them in my home and what it cost me,,,
i'd love to tell you the story in a movie called "Mirror Mirror On The Wall".
Overpopulation is the problem? Seen Europe's stats lately? You do know that Europe will be a thing of the past in another hundred years at the rate it's going, right? Somehow, this 'there's too darn many people in the world' gospel is rather terrifying, and my guess is that the future's grand genocides will be founded partly on the idea that 'we have to do something about all these darn people.' Not to mention that it's most often couched under the subtle 'there's too many of you, and just enough of me' ethic so predominant in the post-modern West.
Oh, and as for the rest of the article. I’m no Mormon, but the ‘everyone who doesn’t conform to my world view is a wacked out nut job because they are closed minded and refuse to accept that I’m the True Truth’ does a disservice to those who are trying to enter the debate on Prop 8 in order to win. In fact, if I may be so bold, it’s been the gay message in the tenor of this article that has helped an otherwise left moving nation to repeatedly vote against something that the majority of Americans apparently otherwise support. Do yourself a favor, don’t live up to the stereotypes that those who oppose the gay rights movement perpetuate. That’s always a good place to start.
Blessed are those who oppose birth control for they shall inherit the earth (and swarm over it like locusts).
Darn people. Wish we'd do something about them, huh? My biggest problem with the whole overpopulation crowd is that in the history of human ideals, it is one of the wimpiest, least self-committing belief systems ever held. In other words, I don’t see those who think the world is overpopulated leading by example.
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