Vatican Bombshell!: Goldman Sachs IS The Holy Ghost!

L'Osservatore Romano is reporting that The Vatican has declared Goldman Sachs to be The Holy Ghost. The revelation has inspired hordes of the religious faithful to descend upon the firm's New York headquarters and drop to their knees - a position Goldman Sachs brought the rest of the world to in 2007.

The statement, issued by Joseph Ratzinger under the Nom de plume Benedict XVI, outlines the reasoning behind the stellar declaration. The Holy Ghost - which shares the power of God - is invisible yet everywhere, can create something from nothing or turn everything back into nothing - all miraculous powers that reside in Goldman Sachs as evidenced by their orchestration of a worldwide economic collapse and their ability to reap record profits from it.

The Vatican paper cites the disclosure comes because The Holy Sea has been anxious to recognize realities in this world and follows the apologies issued to both John Lennon and Galileo, in which the Church admitted that the earth does revolve around the sun and that The Beatles were indeed bigger than god.

Comments

[Galadriel]

Very good article, Mr. Gregory. Once again we can see what hypocrites religious people are. After all if they read the very bible they do not follow, Goldman Sachs certainly doesn't have anything to do with being Godly. And even worse, the place is full of thieves and I think there is a commandment to cover that one. "Thou shalt not steal".

Perhaps Joseph Ratzinger under the Nom de plume Benedict XVI, needs to read the bible.

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple (could me Goldman Sachs, that's for sure), and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers..

Luke 16:13 (NIV) "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Mat 6:19-21 (TEB) "Do not save riches for yourselves here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and robbers break in and steal. Instead, save riches for yourselves in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and robbers cannot break in and steal. For your heart will always be where your riches are."

1Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

[kindGSL]

Well then, as long as he is giving out apologies, can he rescind that papal bull giving the Americas over to a bunch of blood thirsty conquerers?

It'd be timely.

[Helen Bohenski]

Hon:

I have to laugh that all those people are kneeling outside their New York offices! That address is only for UPS deliveries - they moved last year to their new hollowed-out volcano!

Your #1 fan (audited)

Helen

[peterg76]

I knew they were a co-equal branch of the US government, but a co-equal branch of the Trinity?