I watched the press conference on my wife's iPod on the Hertz shuttle bus Friday as we made our way back from Dallas to Boston. I've avoided the talking heads since. I have no interest in the hoopla.
I've had a couple days to digest the man's words and demeanor. Tonight, I couldn't help thinking about Tiger as I watched Bodie Miller, a boozing train wreck four years ago, stand on the podium to receive his gold medal with such class and enthusiasm. It made me remember that even for the worst of the worst change is in fact possible. No stranger to addiction and bad behavior myself, I have been clean 14 years now so I know a thing or two about miracles first hand.
I was impressed with the seriousness with which Tiger seems have at least admitted his problems. That alone doesn't solve anything but it's better than I feared would be the case: more denial and rationalization. Think of the other public figures who have hit similar walls of personal failure: Spitzer, Edwards, Madoff, Sanford, any number of Kennedy men. Can you think of one that was as forthcoming about what they had done wrong and the long journey ahead? I can't. They seemed trapped inside their celebrity bubble, unwilling to accept the human frailties that Tiger admitted to with resounding clarity.
When dealing with any form of addictive behavior (behavior that for any normal person seems clearly insane, like smoking crack or sleeping with scores of women or ski racing drunk) the first and often hardest step is to break the cycle of self-justification. It's something akin to sailing across the Atlantic on the theory that the world is round when you've always believed it's flat. It requires a complete paradigm shift and a ton of courage. On that point I really don't think anyone can criticize Tiger.
A full press conference would have been beside the point. I really don't care what reporters think of yet another public figure fallen from grace. The acceleration of our tabloid obsession is certainly part of the problem, not a solution to anything. On that I agree with Tiger. Their harassing his kids is a disgrace.
The only thing that bothered me was the tail end of Tiger's statement when he asked the people he let down "to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again." That seemed premature. I am glad that he is headed back to treatment. Dealing with serious addiction isn't treated in a day or a week or a month. It takes years of sustained of effort to make that kind of fundamental change. Addicts often say it takes five years to get your marbles back and 10 to learn how to play with them.
I may be alone but I am routing for Tiger. He made huge mistakes but I hope he continues to do the work to become a man of honesty and integrity, a "good" man as he put it. It won't be a short road but there's no reason to wish for him not to succeed, other than to feed the already completely sick media frenzy.
The odds are frankly against Tiger. More addicts relapse than stay clean, unfortunately. But then Tiger has faced long odds before. Let's hope his achievements on the golf course carries over to the work he is currently doing on his soul. As a fellow-addict I can do no less.
Thomas Matlack is the former Chief Financial Officer of The Providence Journal, is the founding Managing Partner of Megunticook Management, and is the co-founder of The Good Men Project.
Follow Tom Matlack on Twitter: www.twitter.com/tmatlack
Drew Westen: Par for the Course: Is Tiger's Bogey Any of Our Business?
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach: Tiger's Courageous Confession
Adia Colar: Tiger Woods And The Importance Of Amends
Tiger Woods - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Callahan: Tiger Woods keeps up the act
To me this story of Tiger is a classic metaphor for those shadows that I hide, suppress and deny. How many of us can say that we don't lie in some area of our life? I lie everytime I don't live by my mission - the truth of who I am.
Before pointing out at Tiger - take a look at yourself and see what areas of your life do you suppress - that are desperately seeking to be released?
Other than to repair his family bonds and personal growth, he should just focus on his golf - to win as many tournaments as he possibly can and break all the records.
His management team should negotiate a huge premium and profit sharing with the golf organizers and network TV to return to the game. He is the gold mine as far as everyone involved with the pro-golf game is concern.
Tiger exposed his children to public scrutiny, that no child should have to deal with outside of the home.
Yes, Tiger has much to atone for.
I really do hope he can make some sort of change through rehabilitation.
If half of what these mistresses has to say is true, Tiger treated them like sex toy objects. He also allegedly said to more than a few of them that he only married Elin for "his image". I pray that Tigers words to his mistresses about Elin were only ploys to get them into bed. Because if those words are true, Tiger seems to me, to have a deep seeded hatred of relationships that go beyond superficial sex play.
Sometimes the best thing to do is the hardest. That would be being true to thine ownself.
TW took the easy way out by saying that "fame is to blame" for his shortcomings. And let's not forget "entitlement".
Tiger Woods saga is typical and pathetic given the fact that he has a plethora of high-paid agents, advisors and parasites around him who should know better and who have a vested interest in the health of their golden goose.
The one common denominator in all this seems to be the toxic narcissism. Anyone goofy enough to characterize TWs mea culpa as sincere must also still think that Bill Clinton didn't have sex with that woman Monica Lewinski. Is it any wonder that what we get for government is a bunch of carny folk and that politics and sports are populated by thieves and cheaters.
I wish I could rely upon the news media, but instead I have yet to figure out how to tweet Rick Sanchez. I would look to Robin Meade for hardcore investigative journalism if I wasn't so distracted in the morning by her soft core short skirts, bare legs and boots. I'm seeing less and less of Candy Crowley and more and more of Campbell Brown, and Poppy Harlow.
This disintegration of values should matter to us, but apparently the aftershocks aren't being felt. A day will come when government has spent and borrowed to the point where there will be no money for schools and healthcare.
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From all reports it seems pretty clear that Clinton has never become what you define as "a good man".
What's your take on whether that makes a critical difference when deciding who to support for political office - particularly the presidency?
In other words, in your world, does character REALLY count?