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Controversial New Group: Drunk Drivers Against Mothers

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Drunk driving is obviously a very touchy subject as well as serious a problem. It became so out of hand at one time that in the 80's a group of outraged women formed the organization MADD(Mothers Against Drunk Drivers). But just recently a backlash of sorts has reared it's head and seems to be gaining steam. It's called DDAM (Drunk Driver Against Mothers).

The group was started one night in the back room of a fraternity house in Colorado when a bunch of 6th year seniors were playing beer pong and watching porn on Cinemax The President of the group, Chad Chasterston, was wasted when his mom called to tell him she was very disappointed in him due to his recent DUI. Chad was livid when he hung up and started railing against his mom. The other drunk guys joined in and added their two cents about their own mothers and how they were always on their cases about their drunk driving histories.

"My mom is always like 'I can't believe you got drunk and then drove our new car into a lake again'. I'm like fuck you! I like to party! You're just mad because you can't party as hard as me! Delta Chi forever!"

Sure this started as a sort of a joke but recently these men have gotten more organized. Word seems to be spreading also. It has been reported that DDAM groups are popping up on college campuses across the country. They get together every night, pound Jagermeister and talk shit about their moms and moms in general.

We caught up with a DDAM leader at Rutgers, Mike McCallister, as he was pissing on a church. He had this to say, "Moms are total buzz kills these days. All they do is bitch and whine about dudes who like to party. It's always, 'Don't drive drunk or you shouldn't fight with the police or you got my daughter pregnant!' It's like chill out. I like to drink so get off my ass!"

DDAM was gaining momentum but it recently hit a speed bump when Chad, the original organizer, drove his car off of a cliff after a sorority mixer. The Vice President of DDAM had this to say, "What the fuck are you looking at?! I'll kick your fucking ass right now asshole! Gimme my car keys! I'm fine!! I've only had 11 beers!!" He then puked on himself and passed out on the street where he was ironically run over by a sober soccer mom of 3.

 

Follow Tom McCaffrey on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Tom McCaffrey