The Poetry of Sarah Palin

While the media elite have showered praise on the "poetry" of Barack Obama, they've conspicuously ignored the true bard of the presidential race: Sarah Palin. The Alaska governor's campaign pronouncements have consistently demonstrated a fragile Haiku-like quality that have often challenged the listener to explore not only the subject at hand but also the very nature of meaning itself. Consider some of Palin's finest poems, composed on the spot during recent public appearances:

As Putin Rears His Head
As Putin rears his head
and comes into the air space
of the United States of America
where do they go?
It's Alaska.
It's just right over the border.
It is from Alaska
that we send those out to make sure
that an eye is being kept
on this very powerful nation:
Russia.
Because they are right there.
They are right next to our state.

On Government
Government
you know,
you're not always a solution.
In fact,
too often
you're the problem.
So, government,
lessen the tax burden
on our families
and get out of the way.

Activity of Man
I'm not one
to attribute every man
activity of man
to the changes in the climate.
There is something to be said
also for man's activities
but also
for the cyclical temperature changes.

A Child
When you consider
what's going on
in this world,
the most promising
and good ingredients
in this world
is a child.
The hope
that a child brings
and just understanding that.
Being near
and dear
to my heart.

Be All, End All
Nuclear weaponry
of course
would be the
be all
end all
of just
too many people
in too many parts
of our planet.

There Have Been Rulings
In the great history
of America rulings,
there have been
rulings.

Never Again
Let's commit ourselves
just every day
American people:
Joe Six Pack
hockey moms
across the nation.
I think we need
to band together
and say
Never Again.

The Maverick
He's also known as
the maverick
though
taking shots from his own party,
and certainly taking shots
from the other party.
Trying to get people
to understand
what he's been talking about.

I Still Can't Answer That Question
As for that VP talk
all the time
I'll tell you:
I still can't answer that question
until somebody answers for me
what is it
exactly
that the VP does
every day.

I May Not Answer The Questions
I may not answer the questions
that either the moderator
or you
want to hear.
But I'm going to
talk
straight
to
the American people.

900 Years Old
When 900 years old
you reach,
look as good
you will not.

Comments

[lemonyashes]

I'd by the album can Tina Fey sing them?

[airhead-not]

Brilliant...hahaha....now i finally "get" what she was trying to get at. Have copied this for my laugh therapy group (with due credit to Tom McNichol of course).

[TigerShoes]

Fantastic. Thanks for this.

[MelRoy]

This is a keeper! But you forgot the planks!

THE PLANKS IN THE PLATFORM

This is a strong platform
around the planks in this platform
that respect life and respect the
entrepreneurial spirit of this great country
and those things
back to social issues
that are what, at least in the past,
had articulated and tried to stand on.

Now finally we have solid planks
In the platform
that will allow us to build
an even stronger foundation.
It's all good
You just go to the planks
in the platform
and that's where you'll see 'em.

- interview with Dr James Dobson, October 22, 2008

[DCato]

Wasn't it Mario Cuomo who said you campaign in poetry and govern in prose? But I don't think the poetry he had in mind was that of William Carlos Williams.
Still it good to know there is at least something modernist about Sarah Palin.

[doctorkeys]

I'm in pain - laughing so hard.

[PDinCA]

I am in Palin
Uplifted by the great Muse
Sarah the Poet

[lemonyashes]

Me too. Ya know when I heard some of these I know I was not only going a little cross eyed but also my ears also crossed but also maybe also not too.

[MAragon]

Ah, you've found her true calling. Now she can get out of politics and spare us all.

[kylennblack]

I can see Russia
I am qualified to run
Look, a shiny thing!

[PDinCA]

You want shiny things?
Just elect me president
I'll make the world glow

[laurajo]

We Here Too,
in statesBlue
that Are,...

my tribute/letter to/in sarah palin's stylin's

http://open.salon.com/content.php?cid=30755

[BarackMarley]

I'd say its more like Hip Hop the way the crowd yells the N-Word when she speaks

Watch the Video of the Crowd Yelling the N-Word at a Palin Rally(She didn't blink)
http://newsone.blackplanet.com/nation/crowd-yells-the-n-word-at-palin-rally/

[BabsfromKansas]

Nice!
Have you seen all the limericks that were posted on the main thread this week-end?

[aef]

Slate ran an article on this same idea earlier this month....

http://www.slate.com/id/2201342/

[Downwithdumbness]

Brilliant. So poetic is Palin that she has inspired romantics and poets all over the world, including Russia.

See
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR9V_aOCga0

[notconfindtweenhatnboots]

Well, when you put it like this.. I can finally understand what she was trying to say. Can you do this to all her speeches? Thanks.

[ESerafina42]

However, you misspelled "nuclear." In the "poetry" of Sarah Palin, it's "nucular."

[PDinCA]

Who can criticize
Palin for talking like Bush
nucular rapture