While I enjoyed "Nanny McPhee" as a movie (Emma Thompson can do no wrong), I was disappointed to see that it followed the tried and true message of movies about nannies - i.e., that parents don't really need nannies; they are just too busy with their own lives and own issues and should be more engaged in their children's lives. While I don't dispute the sentiment, it would be great to see a movie or read a children's book that honestly reflected the important and valuable role that caregivers play in the lives of children and of their parents.
In "Mary Poppins," the mother is spending too much time on the women's suffrage movement (God forbid!) and the husband is too cowed by his job at the bank. In "Nanny McPhee" the mother has died, and the father is too absorbed in his grief to discipline his children, listen to them, or even notice that he loves and is loved by the maid. These two movies take place in the past - this keeps us from being too concerned about how unreal the family situation is. In both these movies the Nanny arrives to fix things - and once the family is reconnected to their children, she leaves - her job is done.
Even in such contemporary-set offerings as "Mrs. Doubtfire" or "Daddy Day Care," the message is the same - the father can play at nanny, but only as a way to better understand and connect with his child.
By contrast, according to US labor statistics, as quoted in a recent issue of LA Parent magazine, both parents are employed in 61% of two parent families. They don't all have nannies, but regardless of what arrangement they use, for many families in America having some measure of child care provided by a non-parent is a given. What would be great is to see a movie that shows not only how families benefit from having a caregiver but a film that celebrated the hard work that caregivers provide, as well as the love and respect they give and receive from the families they work for.
In the movie that Hollywood has yet to make, we would open on a brave yet unhappy family - their house is a mess, the children are unhappy, the parents are sleep- deprived and short tempered and their relationship is strained - and their lack of income is putting strains on the family in all kinds of ways. They are isolated and in a rut. They wonder what they can do.
Enter Nanny Rosa. Rosa cared for a family whose children are all grown up and she is available immediately. Nanny Rosa sweeps in and both parents go back to work. Suddenly things begin to change: the children become more sociable, more loving - the state of their rooms, what they eat, how they dress and play with each other and with strangers, all those things that change for the better in all the other Nanny movies - all change for the better with Rosa. The parents go out on a Saturday night date, their first since the children were born. They rediscover each other. The parents learn an important lesson: the best gift you can give a child is to be a happy family. Rosa makes the difference and they let her know it.
In Nanny McPhee, the dictum is "when you need me, but don't want me, I come; when you want me, but don't need me, I leave." In my movie, when Nanny Rosa thinks it's time to leave, we beg her to stay. And she does.