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Understanding Bipolar: You Don't Know the Half of It

Posted: 07/01/11 09:19 AM ET

"You don't know the half of it" is a once-common phrase that is generally applied to negative things. It usually means that you don't really know how bad it is. It is easy to see how bipolar people can use the phrase to describe how horrible bipolar disorder is to someone who does not experience it.

I imagine many people would expect this article to be a rant on how people without bipolar disorder have no idea how bad we have it. I am sorry. It is not. It is for those who already know how bad it can be. They may not know the half of it, either.

I often joke that depression is so terrible that we sometimes wish we were dead and we act so badly during mania that everyone else wishes we were. It is good for a laugh, because we all know it has some truth in it. The horrible symptoms of depression and mania that can occur when an individual is in a disordered state are well known. They include physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social and career/financial dysfunction.

Funded massively by the pharmaceutical industry, partly because it is one of their biggest profit centers, there have been countless studies about bipolar disorder and how to move people from crisis through managed stage to recovery. There are many who argue over the choice of tools to address depression and bipolar, but nearly everyone agrees on one thing: depression and bipolar are horrible mental illnesses that need to be removed from our lives. They don't know the half of it.

I know bipolar disorder well. I had my first full-blown manic episode 46 years ago and my first major depressive episode 10 years after that. I am all too familiar with the devastation wrecked on my own life and those around me that both the manic and depressive sides of bipolar disorder contributed to. It nearly cost me my life.

Although it takes a great deal of understanding to get from crisis through managed stage and eventually to recovery, we can never know all there is to know about bipolar disorder. Even if we did, we would not know the half of it.

In the conclusion of the largest study to date, the National Institute of Mental Health said, "According to the researchers, these results indicate that in spite of modern, evidence-based treatment, bipolar disorder remains a highly recurrent, predominantly depressive illness." This is why in spite of achieving recovery, bipolar disorder is believed to be a life-long condition. They don't know the half of it.

After 35 years of suffering interspersed with good times, I set out to find a better way. When I made it my career to understand bipolar about 10 years ago, I gathered people with depression and bipolar together with family, friends, doctors, therapists and others who were also looking for better answers. After talking with thousands of people, I came to realize that I didn't know the half of it, either.

Having achieved the recovery that everyone was saying was the best I could do, I found myself unwilling to accept a diminished life living in fear that the next crisis was only a bad night's sleep away. If I was going to put so much effort into trying to keep bipolar suppressed, I wondered what would happen if I put the effort into understanding the other half that I hoped was there.

Many of us continue to explore what works to achieve recovery, but also how we might use the same tools to get beyond it. In the process, we have discovered new ways of using existing tools, and we have created new ones that are much more powerful. We found that there is another half to the bipolar experience, where our understanding helps us remove the suffering while we gain the ability to function completely in all states, from the highest high to the deepest low. I call it "Bipolar IN Order" (as opposed to bipolar disorder).

Over the years we have refined the tools and strategies to help others make "Bipolar IN Order" a reality in their lives. With each new success, we gain a deeper understanding of how to assess people to determine where they are on the path from crisis through managed stage to recovery (bipolar disorder), as well as through the three stages beyond that: freedom, stability and self-mastery ("Bipolar IN Order"). We have also learned that tools are stage-specific. Some tools are used differently according to the stage, while other tools only apply to more advanced stages and should not be used while in disorder.

It took almost 10 years, but we did prove that "Bipolar IN Order" is real in our own lives and now have a community of people who have successfully made the transition from bipolar disorder to "Bipolar IN Order." We can now challenge the paradigm that claims that bipolar is an illness. Bipolar disorder is a horrible mental illness, but "Bipolar IN Order" is a healthy state.

Bipolar itself is not a brain dysfunction but the ability to experience a range of energy and emotion that is wider than "normal" people. The range is not the problem; it is the lack of understanding and inability to choose how to react to it that causes so many of us to find ourselves in disorder. When they are only taught the disordered half, they see it as an illness and struggle with the vicious cycle of crisis and recovery. When they are taught how to get "Bipolar IN Order," their suffering ends, and they discover that bipolar is an advantage in their lives that they would never give up.

If all you know is bipolar disorder, it is time to find out about "Bipolar IN Order." You will soon be using a new phrase about bipolar: "not half bad."

 
 
 

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"You don't know the half of it" is a once-common phrase that is generally applied to negative things. It usually means that you don't really know how bad it is. It is easy to see how bipolar people ca...
"You don't know the half of it" is a once-common phrase that is generally applied to negative things. It usually means that you don't really know how bad it is. It is easy to see how bipolar people ca...
 
 
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12:10 PM on 08/08/2011
I agree Tom. Been bipolar since 1992 and seen the worst of it and it has been my own endeavour to get back in order. Incase someone has not looked for this sort of a solution, tis unlikely they would appreciate the effort behind it. To those who are still in the throes of serious swings- this is meant to be a ray of hope.
Keep up the excellent work Tom- just like a true bipolar who is altruistic am sure you will benefit thousands of others in this venture.
04:54 AM on 07/16/2011
I find your article misguided.

I have Bipolar I, rapid-cycling, with psychotic features. I hear voices and see things that are not there. It is not schizophrenia or similar; it is an aspect of my bipolar. How do you resolve that with your idea of expanded emotional range? You simply cannot. You cannot dismiss people whose bipolar manifest differently than your own when preaching an approach, yet that's what you're doing. Further, claiming bipolar is an expanded emotional range is like saying anxiety disorders are just heightened sensitivity.

I have coping skills. They get me through episodes. They do not, in any way, minimize actual episodes, just increase my ability to handle them.

You are ignoring the fact that mania can be dangerous. Mania can trigger psychotic breaks. It can cause uncontrollable paranoia. It can cause overwhelmingly violent urges. It is the result of imbalanced biochemistry, something that an individual cannot control through coping skills and willpower.

You are also ignoring mixed states. Mixed states are thoroughly horrible and incredibly dangerous, at least to the person experiencing them. They are certainly not something to fob off as the person having inadequate coping skills, yet that is exactly what you are doing here.

I don't think I need to get into the dangers of severe depression.

The fact that, in your comments here, you are at best patronizing to others who disagree when you reply doesn't give me much hope for you realizing that you're generalizing in ways you shouldn't.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ZENNEPHI
05:25 PM on 07/15/2011
A Consumer of Mental Health Services, on a Trial Basis of {Lillys Zyprexia} rates
the Pharmacology Great. With few side effects. It is an oral transcription, and if
your Medicare Part D can afford you a reasonable Co-Pay, as Perscribed by your
Care Giver, jump into the great unknown!
As I "Phase" between "Polairitys" of the Left and Right Hemispheres...No Mania.
That Cannonized Saint Rexall {Rx},is surley a "Patron Saint" to many.!!!
With all the Myths about Mental Handicap, Impairment, that statement is confirmed
further, knowing that {Lilly} is headquarted in Indeno-pol-is.MN.
11:48 AM on 07/12/2011
Tom Wootton has brought hope to the hopeless. When I saw my depression as part of my life instead of an enemy of my life, I began to find ways of accomodating it instead of fighting it. As such, I am doing much better with depression. I no longer fear that it's just waiting beside me to leap up and take control. Patrick Day
09:31 PM on 07/11/2011
I was diagnosed with severe, treatment resistant bipolar with psychotic features. Medications only slowed episodes from several full cycles in a day multiple days a week to one full cycle every two weeks. I still suffered greatly. Eventually I realized I had do the real work to feel whole again. I discovered Tom Wootton's book, "Bipolar In Order" and his website www.BipolarAdvantage.com. His concepts opened my eyes to understand my reactions to the condition. I learned how to use various tools to help me cope, learn from my experiences and manage my responses to episodes. In April, my husband and I flew from FL to San Francisco to attend Tom's workshop for a more interactive experience in learning. It was a turning point for us in learning to communicate better and my husband learned what is helpful to me and what isn't. I learned even more skills. It's made a world of difference. If I have an unusually difficult episode, the skills I've learned coupled with a back-up plan I have arranged with my psychiatrist work together very well so I can function at an acceptable level without a major setback. My psychiatrist didn't believe this method would work when I first told him about it, but he has become very intrigued by my success and is interested in learning more. I now live a very fulfilling and purposeful life without fear. I have discovered how wonderful life can be having Bipolar In Order.
12:12 PM on 08/08/2011
am so happy to read this...thumbs up to you
11:23 PM on 07/05/2011
Hi Tom, I give you a 5 star salute for the positive energy, perspective and cutting edge thinking you bring to light on bipolar. I like most what you say about the expansive range of emotion and energy. Thanks for being a pioneer and leader! Denise
05:58 PM on 07/05/2011
I don't know how I found your website, but am so glad I did. I didn't have a diagnosis of Bipolar until I was 40 after a manic/phycotic episode, prior to that time I mainly had depression and hypo-mania, and who tells a doctor HEY I am feeling really good! My therapist has been helping me become "bipolar-in-order" gradually, we just didn't have a name for it... THANKS! You have given me much hope for a more fruitful and happier life. (59 now...)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ogg-the-bear
Stunning millions with bolts of lightning...
10:33 PM on 07/01/2011
Great to see your piece here on Huffpo/AOL, Tom! Depression is the adaptive response to crisis by hunkering down until the crisis blows over (think how the hell you live through a hurricane or ternader). Mania is the adaptive response to crisis by jumping the crevasse (think getting the hell out of the way of a landslide or pyroclastic flow). Problem is 6 billion people and gene flow later, we BP wireds got too damned much of those great adaptations. Using Tom's principles BP becomes an adaptive advantage. There are days to draft manuscript, there are days to edit and to pitch & market, that's how it is. No sense fighting wiring the meds can't fully settle, use it, put it in order. It works. My turning point was realizing I was just plain sick of the crisis. The medical problem model of BP means you can never recovery, you never see any possibility, you never gain an advantage. It's misery and the best one can hope for is not-so-much-misery. Once I realized, I just got too much of a good thing, once I learned I needed a team, once I learned to home in on how my wiring actually works and doesn't, it was a matter of gaining the tactical advantage by exploiting the way the cycling worked, using meds to manage the excess. 5 years on, WAY more stable and I can work. Props, Tom!
09:45 PM on 07/01/2011
This sound promising after eleven years and five hospitalizations being labeled BiPolar. Depression, although not exactly chronic, is persistent. Everyday is consumed with a heaviness, lack of purpose, inability to decide, and disconnection from others. Yes, I am "stable" but functioning just above baseline. Life exists just not for me. People who travel, make love, share experiences with friends, dance, play, eat good food, etc. are utterly alien. It isn't possible. One cannot achieve it. I can not hold on to experiences. In this state I forget most everything I apprehend. My brain is failing me. I cannot think, write, talk, be.
06:55 PM on 07/01/2011
Also: I would like to add that my choice of words: "extraordinary" is important. Anyone who has experienced nonordinary states of consciousness, whether it be bipolar, psychosis, addiction or beatific states of bliss must also adopt some extraordinary goals. Simply being "normal" or "well-adjusted" is unacceptable, and most likely impossible. Once a person accepts that his or her goals must be extraordinary, the sky is the limit in terms of personal success and well-being.
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Tom Wootton
07:01 PM on 07/01/2011
Thank you for your encouragement. It is interesting that you highlight "extraordinary." Many years ago I wrote a mission statement that we still use: Our Mission is to help people with mental conditions shift their thinking and behavior so that they can lead extraordinary lives. I agree with your analysis completely.
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dil123
Read the demographics and weep
04:07 PM on 07/04/2011
I don't want to be "extraordinary". I just want to be "normal". When I say "normal" I mean a regular person with a 1 br apt. with lots of sunlight, in a good neighborhood and a good job, where I can indulge my love for designer purses and go to the ballet a couple of times a year. Extraordinary is way too stressful for me.
Besides, when I dream, I dream BIG!!! That is part of my problem. I have to learn to have realistic goals, like going back to school and actually finishing my degree. Not trying to find a millionaire to marry me. See my problem?
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dil123
Read the demographics and weep
04:40 PM on 07/04/2011
BTW, I have bipolar 1, and I am 47 yrs. old. A millionaire is probably out of the question for me, seeing that I'm never in places where millionaires congregate. I blame the ridictulous, unrealistic delusions of grandure on the bipolar (it may also be the PTSD, but lets not split hairs). I'm stablized now with medication and I have "graduated" from therapy. I recognize when I am cycling into a manic phase (which happens from time to time) but I know how to handle it and I most of the time it doesn't last more than a day. I guess I've learned to live with my bipolar, as long as I'm not under too much stress, I'm pretty much fine. BTW, as far as I know, there is no cure for bipolar, there is just treatment, and mine is working fine. BTW, can you be a psychiatrist with bipolar? That's what I ultimatly want to do when I finish school, if I can get through the math, that is.
06:50 PM on 07/01/2011
Tom: Thanks so much for bringing your fresh, intelligent approach here! As a mental health and addiction treatment provider, I appreciate your courage and willingness to help others become more self-determined in their search for equanimity. All too often, people either fear those who suffer from mental illness, or they want to give it a pill and just ignore it. Kudos to you and anyone else who chooses to embrace their condition and ultimately become the director of their own story. Pills aren't enough. Sometimes, medications are just plain wrong. I encourage all readers to explore the possibility that most mental conditions have a purpose of some sort, and are often an opportunity to become a truly extraordinary human being. Keep up the awesome work, sir!
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ryker88
“I shall seize fate by the throat.” Beethoven
05:44 PM on 07/01/2011
One thing I see as very sad is the way articles like this minimize the effects of this disorder. There is a valid reason why 90% of marriages with a Bipolar partner end unhappily. Having been engaged, on and off, for six years to a Bipolar man, I know from whence I speak. I experienced intense emotional abuse, unbelievable rages, and crazy accusations from my former fiance. Once he even went into a unprovoked sudden rage, throwing everything he could get his hands on across the room, as I was lovingly handing him his Christmas present. He told horrible lies about me to our friends and didn't understand why I would get upset. He is a recovering alcoholic and was hospitalized twice for prescription drug abuse during our years together. He takes handfuls of meds every day, all day and sees his pdoc minimally once a month. He is on disability- can't work for obvious reasons.
He desperately wants someone in his life but then treats them with hatred and contempt. Even his neighbors warned me about his rages. I tried, I really tried.
After we split, he put an ad on a dating site that was completely filled with enormous lies- obviously in a severe manic state.
I think what Patty Duke said about her mental illness rings true: "When you are dealing with a chemical imbalance in the brain, all the love in the world won't fix it."
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Tom Wootton
06:55 PM on 07/01/2011
It seems from the way your comment started that your intention was not to prove my point, but thank you for doing exactly that. He is being treated by a system that does not know the half of it and it is clearly not working. It might work better if someone taught him how to behave instead of trying again and again the same thing that has already proven not to work.

Your relationship didn't fail because he had high and low experiences; it failed because he acted badly. If you are honest with yourself, you had a role in it too. We all need to learn how to behave whether we have bipolar or not.

By her own admission, Patty Duke does not know the half of it. Why do so many hold up people who cannot function in depression and mania as examples of what is possible? It is like taking driving lessons from someone who ends up in a ditch every time he leaves the garage.

http://blogs.webmd.com/mental-health/2011/05/driving-while-bipolar.html
11:13 PM on 07/01/2011
At least Patty Duke had the courage to admit her illness. You speak in your own language, when defending your own theories. What you say is intriguing, but I could argue that you have a history of "mental illness". If your theories are ground breaking, why aren't they being practiced by doctors now? I'm sure you're on to something, but I am reluctant to jump on your bandwagon, only to find you debunked in two years. And if I "don't know the half of it" so be it.
02:16 AM on 07/02/2011
I have received and read many of your e-mails and essays, and investigated your website. And seen your You Tube videos. But I am not motivated to study "Bipolar in Order" because : 1. I am Type 2 and you like 90% of the writers on BP, address Type 1. Hypomania is not even referred to by you. 2. Like many religions which are superficially attractive your presentations are couched in self-promotion and buzzwords. this alienates me and intellectualizes the condition in a way that my brain cannot comprehend.
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RC81
"Corporations are people my friend"
03:08 AM on 07/14/2011
A very tough passage to read. We need more REAL stories like this to shine a proper light on this issue. Hang in there and thanks. Fav'd.
04:30 PM on 07/01/2011
It's great when a writer has experienced what he is writing about. And because I am also bipolar, my ability "to experience energy and emotion is wider than "normal" people", but my advice is to stay on your lithium. I had suffered two severe manic episodes in the mid-70's. and I have received care at the best hospitals in Boston and Los Angeles. I've been more fortunate than some, having normal blood tests and no episodes of mania for 36 years. For me this works.
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Tom Wootton
02:57 PM on 07/01/2011
Thank you all very much for your comments. I am especially encouraged that the line about range had meaning for some of you. "The range is not the problem; it is the lack of understanding and inability to choose how to react to it that causes so many of us to find ourselves in disorder." I expected that many people would take great issue with it.
05:02 PM on 07/01/2011
Bosses love the controlled manic phase when you can sustain the work-level of three people for months, but the inevitable crash into depression always negates your gains, if not costs you your job. I'll read the book, but I'm not convinced it will get me off the roller-coaster.
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Janet Wichmann
Psychotherapist
02:54 PM on 07/01/2011
Bipolar as "...the ability to experience energy and emotion that is wider than 'normal' people" is the best description I have heard for a way of being that has been nearly demonized by others. Tom's wholistic approach for those who live this broad experience is the most hopeful, rational, evolved solution presently available in the marketplace today. I have shelves full of books about bi-polar, none of which offer much beyond "take your medicine and try to lay low the rest of your life". Tom's pushing through the bi-polar stigma into embracing the whole person and their giftedness is where we need to be moving. As a psychotherapist and a person with bi-polar, I am beginning to apply Tom's theory personally and professionally, with excellent results.