Forget the Rules Committee. Forget the superdelegates. Forget attacking Obama in the bathroom with a butcher knife. The increasingly demented Hillary has come up with a real nuclear option -- the only way to neuter the presumptuous pretty-boy who hijacked her party...
Become a black man too.
Why not? She's won Appalachia, the White Heart of Darkness. Who needs jobless hicks on meth anymore?
State-of-the-art female-male metoidioplasty is now an outpatient procedure. High-dosage melanin injections with standard UVA tanning treatments makes becoming black even easier.
Wednesday morning, a crazed grin splitting her Chucky-like cheeks, Clinton told her staff: "All my life I've felt I was a man trapped in a woman's body!" No-one disagreed. The possibly insane candidate continued: "I ask myself: 'Can I do this?' I answer myself: 'Yes I can! Looking for change you can believe in? Meet Harry Rodham Clinton!"
Only Harold Ickes applauded.
Operation Real Change (Stage 1) began yesterday. Beneath those pants-suit pants there is now a real guy -- and one with impressive testicular implants. Stage 2 takes a little longer. So Harry will be unveiled late next week right before the Puerto Rico primary. And Harry will be just way he likes his coffee: hot, black and sweet.
No one will stop her (or him). No one. No one will even try. No one ever has. Nothing can stop him/her now. Nothing. Not even...Bill.
Word is Bill can't stand the idea of being Harry's wife -- let alone his First Lady. On the other hand, the White House will have its very first interracial same-sex marriage. That could work.
Whatever it takes, right?
This post is based on a story from My Wall Street Journal, the sizzling satire I just edited, with some of the funniest writers around, of Rupert Murdoch's new er, plaything. Check it out at www.wsjparody.com or Amazon and get a copy soon -- before they're sold out.
Oooooooooooooh!!!!! When Rev. Al see what y'all did to his picture...y'all are gonna get it and get it good!!!
Totally LMAO!!
If she had read the NIE and voted NO on going to war in Iraq, she probably would have won. The irony is that she voted YES with running for President in mind. Poetic justice I call it.
Vicious temper? Erratic mood swings interfering with higher thought? Stubbornness? Disdains white men? Violent speech? Kill enemies and innocent bystanders with them rather than talk?
She adheres far too closely to the hardcore racist stereotypes, and that kind of brash warmongering would have been discounted as due to his angry blackness and made many whites, who would be uncomfortable and feel unsafe, as well as many blacks, who wouldn't dare let that sort of bankrupt human being respresent them to the nation and arouse primal fears they want to be weakened.
Fortunately, Clinton is working her butt off to reinforce sexist stereotypes instead, and turn a bunch of old women into bitter, whiny, moody, menacing, weak, mentally limited, tantrum-throwing and manipulative ad nauseum so that by the time she might be able to run again, sexism really WILL be edging up slightly nearer to the intense degree of social problems fueled by racism.
Though, I wouldn't put it past her to do that.
Hilliard is for boys.
Hilliard Rodham.
She's have to drop Clinton. Traditionally, men don't take their wives' names. So, Willa Clinton Rodham and Hilliard Rodham.
LOL!!!!
It wasn't the fact that she was a female that caused her problems, it was her arrogance, thinking that the presidency was her right.