Could Hillary Win as an African-American Male?
Forget the Rules Committee. Forget the superdelegates. Forget attacking Obama in the bathroom with a butcher knife. The increasingly demented Hillary has come up with a real nuclear option -- the only way to neuter the presumptuous pretty-boy who hijacked her party...
Become a black man too.
Why not? She's won Appalachia, the White Heart of Darkness. Who needs jobless hicks on meth anymore?
State-of-the-art female-male metoidioplasty is now an outpatient procedure. High-dosage melanin injections with standard UVA tanning treatments makes becoming black even easier.
Wednesday morning, a crazed grin splitting her Chucky-like cheeks, Clinton told her staff: "All my life I've felt I was a man trapped in a woman's body!" No-one disagreed. The possibly insane candidate continued: "I ask myself: 'Can I do this?' I answer myself: 'Yes I can! Looking for change you can believe in? Meet Harry Rodham Clinton!"
Only Harold Ickes applauded.
Operation Real Change (Stage 1) began yesterday. Beneath those pants-suit pants there is now a real guy -- and one with impressive testicular implants. Stage 2 takes a little longer. So Harry will be unveiled late next week right before the Puerto Rico primary. And Harry will be just way he likes his coffee: hot, black and sweet.
No one will stop her (or him). No one. No one will even try. No one ever has. Nothing can stop him/her now. Nothing. Not even...Bill.
Word is Bill can't stand the idea of being Harry's wife -- let alone his First Lady. On the other hand, the White House will have its very first interracial same-sex marriage. That could work.
Whatever it takes, right?
This post is based on a story from My Wall Street Journal, the sizzling satire I just edited, with some of the funniest writers around, of Rupert Murdoch's new er, plaything. Check it out at www.wsjparody.com or Amazon and get a copy soon -- before they're sold out.
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In my best tattle tale little sister voice:
Oooooooooooooh!!!!! When Rev. Al see what y'all did to his picture...
Totally LMAO!!
No she couldn't. She caused all her problems, had nothing to do with gender or race.
Exactly and that is what the Clinton supporters just don't get.
If she had read the NIE and voted NO on going to war in Iraq, she probably would have won. The irony is that she voted YES with running for President in mind. Poetic justice I call it.
In serious-land, Hillary could never have even become a candidate if she were a black male.
Vicious temper? Erratic mood swings interfering with higher thought? Stubbornness? Disdains white men? Violent speech? Kill enemies and innocent bystanders with them rather than talk?
She adheres far too closely to the hardcore racist stereotypes, and that kind of brash warmongering would have been discounted as due to his angry blackness and made many whites, who would be uncomfortable and feel unsafe, as well as many blacks, who wouldn't dare let that sort of bankrupt human being respresent them to the nation and arouse primal fears they want to be weakened.
Fortunately, Clinton is working her butt off to reinforce sexist stereotypes instead, and turn a bunch of old women into bitter, whiny, moody, menacing, weak, mentally limited, tantrum-throwing and manipulative ad nauseum so that by the time she might be able to run again, sexism really WILL be edging up slightly nearer to the intense degree of social problems fueled by racism.
I suppose she will finally have no need for Bill and get a divorce!
Very funny!
Though, I wouldn't put it past her to do that.
LOL
Thanks for a genuine laugh. I really needed it today.
Hllary Clinton could not even get close to winning if she was a white male. She certainly would never had gotten this far without her ironclad women over 60 vote. She is a poor candidate who has maxed out her on her establishment connections and her age and gender advantages all to no avail.
HILLARY CLINTON IS POWER HUNGRY....
Hillary is and will become for women , what Al sharpton is for Blacks... then down the road a real woman will emerge who will say she is a candidate for presidency who happens to be female...s
And what is Al Sharpton for blacks? I'm black and I don't get your comment.
When Sharpton first started out, he was more about building a movement around himself than about the issues he addressed, which lost him credibility. BTW, I personally think Sharpton has matured brilliantly - his radio addresses and other public appearances are now thoughtful and open-handed, and his leadership following the killer-cop acquitals was exactly what was needed. Consequently, while I understand Alex's comment, I think it inappropriate, Sharpton is not an object of humorous remark.
Really you don't get it. I'm a black woman and have been consistently embarrassed by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson which is why Obama is such a breath of real air for Black Americans.
hahha but no she couldnt...
Hillary is for girls.
Hilliard is for boys.
Hilliard Rodham.
She's have to drop Clinton. Traditionally, men don't take their wives' names. So, Willa Clinton Rodham and Hilliard Rodham.
LOL!!!!
Sorry. Today, the self-satirizing Hillary R. Clinton just blew y'all off the face of America.
She would do better to become an African American female so she can play the gender card AND the race card.
Good Grief she looks like Al Sharpton. An no she couldn't.
It wasn't the fact that she was a female that caused her problems, it was her arrogance, thinking that the presidency was her right.
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