Teacher Arrested for Hosting Teen Booze-up

06/17/2011 05:47 pm ET | Updated Aug 17, 2011

SAN DIEGO -- In case you missed it, the San Diego Union Tribune, my hometown rag, reported on June 16 that a 56-year-old middle school teacher from the suburbs was arrested in the wee hours of the morning last Sunday following a "wild, drunken party held at her home." According to the UT, the party was "attended by at least 100, mostly inebriated teenagers."

Evidently, upon responding to complaint calls related to noise and fighting, San Diego Sheriff's deputies arrived at the house where they encountered Nancy Jean Hildebrand after pushing past dozens of kids and, according to Sheriff's Sgt. Bob Bishop, Hildebrand told the deputies they had no warrant so, basically, GTFO.

I'm sure that upon reading of the alleged party where beer and liquor bottles were strewn about and half-naked minors played strip poker as others lay passed out in their own vomit, all other San Diego fathers must have shared my reaction, which was, "Dude! Coolest teacher ever!" and like me, those fathers surely heard their wives' swift rebukes.

[Sorry Honey.]

Regardless of what you might have heard about San Diego, it's not actually legal here to get a hundred teenagers drunk to celebrate the end of the school year, which is why it's so fortunate that San Diego is located minutes from Tijuana where for the price of a Taco Bell combo you can get teenagers so hammered they can't walk.

[I know, woman!]

Sorry, I wasn't supposed to write that last bit. It's in no way excusable or forgivable to take your kids out of the country to do things you're not supposed to do in it.

Getting back to Ms. Hildebrand, obviously it's not right for a house frau to throw a kegger for the cast of Glee, but when I was a teenager there were a couple of teachers who, given half a chance to party like a rockstar, I'd have ...

[Damn it, Honey, why can't I tell it the way I want to?!]

Since I'm not allowed to continue with this story on pain of grave domestic unrest, here's a video to make the case for why teenagers shouldn't drink without proper adult supervision.