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Coconut Water Is Disgusting

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I wanted to love coconut water. I truly did. Everyone was telling me about it. I heard that it had more potassium than 5,000 bananas and more electrolytes than 5 billion Gatorades. Everyone told me it was the best thing after a workout. Everyone was drinking it. Plus, I love coconuts.

So I finally gave in and bought a bottle. I took a sip and spit it out; it was the grossest thing I have put in my mouth. It started with this weird salt-nasty taste and then turned into some gross flavor. It did not taste like a coconut. It tasted like someone took salt, dirt and gross and mixed it with water. I was upset because I thought I bought a defective bottle. So I returned it and got another. Same thing. Gross!

I told someone that it was gross and they told me I was crazy. They said that I did not try the right brand. So I bought a different brand. It tasted the same. I was not purchasing another brand.

I told that same person that coconut water is gross. They told me all about the health benefits and that I was crazy not to like it -- it had potassium and electrolytes!

Then someone told me I should get it straight from a green baby coconut. They said the bottled coconut water was not the same.

Why would I want to crack a coconut when I can peel a banana and drink a Gatorade? I like bananas and Gatorade!

Yet, I still did not want to be left out of the health world. I still wanted to love coconut water. So I bought a stupid green baby coconut and I did manage to open it. I drank the water. It was still gross. It tasted just like the nasty stuff I drank from the bottle. Except now I had coconut water all over my counter because opening a coconut is a pain.

I do not like coconut water. I absolutely hate it!

Yet it is the hottest thing in the health and fitness world. Fit guys and gals are bringing bottles to their workouts. I do not get it.

I understand avocados. I love those. I kind of understand kale. If made the right way it is delicious. I understand a lot of things that have health value. I know that some people will love them and some will not. I know some people love certain foods and some hate them.

I cannot see the fascination with coconut water. I cannot see how someone finds it delicious. Yet, millions do.

So I will be the outcast. I will not enjoy coconut water. I am okay with that. I will see all the cool fitness people drinking their coconut water after their workout and brag about all the health benefits of it. I mean, it has potassium AND electrolytes.

Yet, coconut water is not the worst tasting health item out there...

That would be Shirataki noodles...

Because you should never trust a food that smells like a sewer that you have to wash for five minutes just to get the smell out.