Dear Arizona, Can We Ban The PCSM (Perverted Creepy Straight Man) From Restaurants?

I have had to educate my staff, tell them that being harassed is not part of the job. The customer is not always right. I have had to tell many female staff members that being nice is your job, but when someone makes you feel uncomfortable, there is a limit to your niceness.
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To the legislators of Arizona,

I have seen that you have tried to pass a bill that would allow businesses the right to refuse service based on religious views, otherwise known as the "Anti-Gay Bill." It got vetoed and I do see that there are other states trying to pass the same bill.

Now, I am not going to debate religion or the way you were raised. In fact, I am not going to even talk about what your opinion is on homosexuality because I would assume that everyone has their own beliefs. I would also assume that all humans should be treated as humans, but hey, that is an assumption.

I would like to propose a new bill.

Is there any way we can ban the "Perverted Creepy Straight Man" (otherwise known as the PCSM community) from restaurants?

Before I get started, let me say that I do not work at a place known for wings. The name of my restaurant is not a nickname for breasts. We do not have "dress up" days and we do not have provocative pictures of women around the restaurant I work at.

And even if I did, it should not matter.

I work at a family-style restaurant where the staff dresses like they work at Target. Yet one of the hardest parts of my job is dealing with the PCSM (Perverted Creepy Straight Man) community.

Usually, they come in with a group of men or by themselves -- never with another woman. They never ask for a male server. They specifically ask for a female server. Most of my servers are female, so that is not an issue.

They always refer to the female server as something other than her name. Now, most places I have worked the server wears a name tag. In every restaurant I have worked at it is mandatory for the server to introduce his/herself. That does not matter because the PCSM has other names for her. Sweetie, honey, babe and girl are the tame ones. Most servers will not tell me the other ones.

The server usually deals with it then because they work for tips.

Then the PCSM gets worse. He will make a sexual innuendo out of anything...

"What would you like?"

"You know what I would like!"

"What would you like on your burger?"

"You know what I would like on my burger!"

As the manager, I usually do not have to come out until the server asks me to. Usually, it is when the PCSM offers money for sexual favors, says they will wait for them after work or something worse.

When I go out, the guy always denies it. It does not matter, because everyone around the PCSM wants to fight him because they have their wives and kids with them.

A majority of the time, the PCSM is wearing a wedding ring and he will tell me he never said it and that his food is poor. I usually ask the man to leave.

Having to deal with the PCSM community.

It is the worst part of my job. Honestly, it is the worst part of a server's job. In fact, it is the worst part of anyone's job who deals with the public. Thinking they have to take abuse from someone because "it is their job." Well, it is not.

I make sure everyone who works for me knows that the customer is not always right. No one needs to be treated like an object or a "piece of a**," as the PCSM community so eloquently puts it.

Anyone who serves the public knows they have to be nice and cordial. They do not need to be harassed. And in over 15 years of being a restaurant manager, I have had to either break up a fight, throw out, get yelled or threatened or call the police from someone in the PCSM community.

I have had to educate my staff, tell them that being harassed is not part of the job. The customer is not always right. I have had to tell many female staff members that being nice is your job, but when someone makes you feel uncomfortable, there is a limit to your niceness.

One other thing...

In 15 years of being a restaurant manager, I have never had a complaint or an issue with someone being "gay."

Sincerely,

Tony Posnanski

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